With a prank.

"Come on man, just go ask her out."

You and your friends were sitting in the mall cafeteria, and they were trying to convince you to ask out this woman roughly your age whom you all found attractive. You knew it was a bad idea, but you also knew they wouldn't shut up about it for the entire ride back.

"She's minding her own business," you say. "I don't want to bother her."

"Come on, just live a little. What have you got to lose?"

You exhaled and said, "fine." You got up from your chair walked towards her table, where she was sitting alone. You dreaded every step. But you didn't stop or turn around. You had committed. As you got close, she started to notice you approaching. She pulled out her earbuds and put down her phone. Great, now you had her full attention. You stopped a few feet away and the words got caught in your throat. Seconds passed without saying anything.

"Hello?" she says. "Can I help you?"

Before you could say anything, you felt hands grabbing your pants and swiftly pulling them down to your ankles. You turned around and saw one of your friends running back to the table where they were all pointing and laughing. This was probably their plan all along. As if it could have been any more embarrassing.

Well, actually, it was more embarrassing. Because while your friends probably assumed that they'd be flashing your white briefs to this woman, you weren't wearing any underwear that day. Everyone behind you got a look at your bare ass.

"Yo! Full moon!" You heard someone shout out.

But while they saw your cheeks, the woman in front of you was perfectly eye level with your genitals. You were overcome with embarrassment and you saw the look of realization on her face of what she was seeing, and how small it was.

You quickly pulled up your pants, mumbled "sorry," and ran away without saying another world.

You wanted to run out of the room, far away from everything. But your friends were your ride, so you returned to that table of jerks who were practically in tears.

"Why'd you have to go and do that?" you asked.

"Dude, why aren't you wearing any underwear?"

You mumbled an excuse: "Because, I forgot to do the laundry. Anyways, can we leave?"

"In a few."

"Please," you beg, "I don't want to be around any of these people."

"No, now finish your fries."

Resigned, you sat down and kept your head down as they talked.

"Do you guys wear underwear?" one of them asks.

"No, I'm to afraid that I'll pop a boner in class."

"Yeah, that's why I wear briefs instead of boxers."

That was something you never had to worry about. In fact, that's why you sometimes went without underwear. Your dick was only about an inch when soft, and two inches when hard. So you were never worried about it poking through. But you were still terrified of anyone seeing it.

You didn't want to, but you had to look back at the woman, to know if she was staring at you. But to your surprise, and relief, she was gone. You guessed that she was probably just as embarrassed as you, and wanted to get away from everyone who saw what happened.

"Guys, can we go please?" you ask.

"Fine," they say.

You all throw away your food and start walking towards the parking lot. Your friends were still talking about underwear. You heard and "excuse me" behind you, but you thought it must have been directed at someone else. You didn't really feel like speaking to anyone right now. Then you felt a tap on your shoulder, which made you jump. This caught the attention of your friends too. And when you all turned around you were face to face with the woman from earlier.

"Um...can I have a word with you?" she said.

"Uh..." You froze again. You turned for help from your friends, only to find that they were bolting it in the other direction. Realizing you had been ditched, you turned back and said, "sure, I guess."

"I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about what your friends did to you back there, and now too."

"Um, okay," you said. She seemed nice, at least.

"And I couldn't help but notice that you were *ahem* a little small."

Oh God! She was talking about your dick! and how tiny it was! right in the middle of the mall. Now at least you were glad your friends ran away.

She continued: "And I just wanted to offer my help."

'What?' you thought to yourself. What did she mean by that?

"After I saw it I just couldn't help but feel bad for you. I mean, it must be so hard to keep a girlfriend with a penis that small."

"Well, they say size isn't everything," you told her.

"Yeah, but I mean, COME ON," she said. "There are limits. Anyways, I just wanted to say that if you ever wanted help, you know, getting laid, I could help you out."

"I'm confused," you said. "Are you a prostitute or something?"

She pulled a face. "No, God no. I would never do something like that. It's to degrading. I'm just saying that if you ever wanted to lose your cherry, I'd be willing to let you do it with me. So here's my number," she has you a slip of paper," and just, uh, give me a call anytime, if you wanna, you know, get laid."

"Um, okay," you said. Then she turned around and walked away.

Clutching the paper in your fist, you absentmindedly walked away. After you reached the parking lot, you found your friends waiting for you.

"Hey man! What happened?"

You stuffed the paper in your pocket. "She just wanted to apologize for what jerks my friends are," you said.

"Oh come on, that was funny and you know it. Hey are you sure you don't want to stop and pick up some boxers before we leave?"

"Haha," you said, "laugh it up."

You reached in and felt the crumpled paper in your pocket as you all made your way to the car and started home.