Smith Jones, 32 year-old sports teacher

Your name is Smith Jones, you've been a sports teacher in Madison High for about 2 years now and you love every bit of the job. You love molding young minds and inspiring young adults to take better care of their physical health. You especially love the other teachers you work with, case in point, today was your birthday and the moment you stepped foot in the teacher's office. You get showered with a loud surprise, a happy birthday song sung by your colleagues and some students, and of course, cake.

With a slice of cake on a paper plate on one hand, you politely push through the thoughtful crowd as you attempt to find your desk. A million happy birthdays later, you finally find your cubicle, located all the way in the back office, so secluded you're certain you could have sex right in the office and no one would notice.

All of a sudden, you spot a bottle of cologne mysteriously placed on your desk. It certainly doesn't belong to you as the cologne is far too expensive looking to afford on a teacher's salary. Beside the cologne, you noticed a signed card that read

'The best teacher deserves the best cologne, enjoy this one of a kind cologne Mr Jones, spray once or twice and you'll have women all fawning over you - Mr Y, Batch of 2019'

You figured it was sweet for a student to have spent all the money and effort into buying you an expensive cologne, although you wished the person didn't considering how branded the cologne looks. You pop open the glass cap and give yourself 2 or 3 sprays before retiring the cologne back onto your desk.