Women must masturbate while they attach posters to walls

New Rule: Women must masturbate while they attach posters to walls.

Short and specific. Gets the job done. Synergizes with your existing rules. Perfect. Or at least, it should be, surely? You watch Zoe look at the piece of paper she's about to pin up, and then to you, and then back to the piece of paper. Scrunching her eyes up, she puts a hand down the front of her pants and continues to try and pin the poster with the other.

No way.

You really can't believe she'd go this far just to avoid some anal sex with you.

Well if you're going to be a bitch about it, then you'll pay the price.

You whip out your dick and start masturbating in her direction.

"What the fuck John, what do you think you're doing?"

"On your knees, Zoe." You instruct. She can't help but obey, her left hand still jilling herself under her skirt, and her right hand still hopelessly trying to pin her photo to a lower part of the wall.

"This is wrong. You and me, it's wrong. You shouldn't do this." Zoe warns.

"That's it, keep talking dirty to me, Zoe." You tease.

"What is wrong with you?" Zoe demands, still masturbating herself.

"What is wrong with you?!?!" You retort. "You'd rather wank yourself silly up and down the halls, with god knows how many guys deciding to cum over you as you do, and this photo being seen by every man in this town and his dog, rather than fuck me?!"

"I can't fuck you... Not you..." She says quietly. "Not like this."

"Why?" You demand. "Why?! And make sure you make me cum on your face as you tell me."

"Because..." She begins to explain, dropping her paper and taking your cock in her soft warm hand and masturbating it furiously. "Because..."

"Because what?!" You demand, feeling righteously angry.

"Because... I wanted our first time... to be romantic. I wanted it to be when you told me you love me back. Just after... just after I told you that I love you."

...Oh shit. You suddenly don't feel like your anger is justified at all.

But it's also too late. You're already cumming.

Twenty ejaculations-worth of semen cascades from the tip of your penis and paints your best friend's face. Your best friend who apparently has a secret crush on you. A crush so deep, so intense, that she would rather permanently ruin her reputation than spoil the dream that you would one day return her love and become sexually intimate. That girl is now plastered in your filthy, sticky seed.

"Zoe... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"...It's okay." She says in a sullen voice from underneath the coat of cum that she's not allowed to wipe away.

It's not okay though, is it? There must be some way I can make this right...