Make everything you say 100% inoffensive.

I know how to take care of this.

"Creep!"

As Allie's cries fade to the distance you begin to write, then hesitate.

What if you could not only change specific places or organizations, but the world, or reality itself?

You turn to a different page and write,

Reality

and then underneath it, a new rule.

New Rule: People are not offended or put off by anything Michael Smith, the one currently writing in this notebook, says. They may even find his most abrasive comments to be nice, complimentary, or witty/creative.

Putting the book away, you look back to Allie and say, "Allie."

"What?" Her distrustful eyes echo the disdain in her voice.

"You know what you get when you cross Allie Loreno and my dick in her mouth?"

The titular girl blinks thoughtfully for a second, then shakes her head. "No, what?"

"A much quieter bitch."

It takes a second, but Allie's face first trembles. Then shakes. Then, your ears are engulfed in her laughter.

Hand to her mouth, she admits "Okay, that's pretty funny," she wipes her eyelid. "And yeah, true that. You're probably right. But," she continues with a glare, "you're still not off the hook for trying to look up my skirt, Michael."

"But your panties are so cute! I just want to squeeze your pussy with my fingers!" you try another ribald comment.

Allie stifles a laugh. You're still tickled by her reactions, happy to go along as she looks at you testily but without any palpable rage, "Haha, nice try. But those hands aren't getting anywhere near me. Not unless I'm rubbing myself on you." Then she withdraws her face and reenters her personal bubble, notetaking away.

You do the same, but watch her from the corner of your eye. She seems to be more settled down now, after your degrading remarks towards her. How backwards was that?