Sweet Victory

You are in the outskirts of Pallet Town. The trees are swaying and you feel the rush of adrenaline and realize this is the moment of truth. The first battle is about to be underway. Blue is standing opposite you with thirty feet of distance between. You bring your pokeball housing Bulbasaur to your soft, pink lips, kiss it for good luck, and raise it high above your head. “Bulbasaur I choose you”, you yell. Blue unimpressed casually sends out Charmander.

“Do you feel scared yet? Have you come to terms that your ass will belong to me after this match? Not that I care if you are or not.” He takes a quick look around to survey the area and spots a boulder to the right, a few shrubs on the left, and some patches of dirt. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“In your dreams”, you retort. Although you said that your mind begins to wonder if you can actually pull this off. No, snap out of it. You’ve got this. I mean who thinks of defeat before the battle has actually started anyway? You regain your composure after a deep breath and pierce Blue with a menacing stare that says you are ready. BATTLE START!

“Charmander scratch that useless excuse for a pokemon.” Charmander moves toward Bulbasaur like a toddler who just discovered running. It was flailing around just trying to maintain its balance.

“Hahaha your Charmander could use a trainer to help it run”, you goad. “Bulbasaur when Charmander raises its paw dodge to the left and use growl. No sooner did Charmander go for the scratch than Bulbasaur jump out of the way and let out a low rumble. You notice that behind Bulbasaur is a decent sized rock and a plan starts to formulate. You just need to rile up Blue some more and this battle should be yours. “I guess Charmander needs to get its eyes checked too. I’ll bet it couldn’t even find your penis if it was six inches long. Though I bet it is much shorter than that” you chastise, stifling a giggle.

“That’s the final straw! I was going to make it look close so you wouldn’t cry when I beat you and your Pokemon’s ass, but now I don’t give a shit. It will just make fucking you that much more enjoyable. Charmander use ember to block Bulbasaur’s escape.” Charmander takes a large inhale and lets loose a few embers on both sides of the reptilian thus creating a ring of fire with the two pokemon inside. “Finish it with a headbutt. Put all your strength into it” Blue roared.

“Use vine whip to pull yourself up on the rock Bulbasaur.” The vines erupt from the bulbous plant on its back and grips the tip of the structure tightly. Bulbasaur reels itself to the top as a loud bonk ensues shortly after. Blue looks at you bewildered. His mouth gaping open at the sight of Charmander starry eyed and unable to continue.