The BimBow

"I got you something," Jacob said, presenting his wife with the pink bow barrette.

Jillian stared in dismissive confusion at the thing.

"Why on earth would I wear that?" She asked.

"I just wandered into this little shop and thought it was cute," he said.

"Well, you should wear it then," she said. "Not my style at all! How long have you known me?"

"I mean, yeah, it's not something you'd buy for yourself," Jacob conceded to his decidedly ungirly wife. "But isn't that a sign of a good gift?"

Jillian sighed and rolled her eyes.

"It's gifts the person wouldn't buy for themself because it's expensive, not because they wouldn't like it!" She said. "It wasn't expensive, was it?"

Jacob grinned nervously.

"It was, um, free," he admitted.

Jillian rolled her eyes harder and walked away. The conversation was over.

Jacob stared down at the BimBow. It hadn't been free, exactly. It just hadn't cost money. The little shop filled with bizarre objects had a sign proclaiming they didn't accept cash, cards, checks or phone apps. That's what got Jacob inside in the first place. He was really curious how it stayed in business.

The old man, apparently sole proprietor and only employee, had explained he sold things, at his discretion, in exchange for stories. The stories only.

Jacob was sure the guy was nuts or a swindler, but he had given in to curiosity and a need to vent when the old man said he was interested in Jacob telling him about his most frustrating current relationship.

Jacob started to explain about his boss but had to soon admit that his frustration with Elizabeth stemmed from Jillian's pressure for him to rise in the company and get paid more and the next thing he knew he was unloading on his wife and how she just wasn't any fun anymore and didn't see him as an equal, what with her already making partner at her law firm while he was stuck in middle management.

Before he knew it, he was ranting about bitches. He would never have let out such a flood of misogyny to anyone he knew, but this perfect stranger just seemed to draw it out of him until he was red faced and panting.

"Oh, that was very nice," the man had said with a twinkle-eyed grin. "I know just what you need!"

He ducked beneath the counter and rummaged, then popped back up with the pink bow barrette,

"This is a BimBow!" He pronounced. "Anyone who wears it will transform into a giggley sex pot with huge bazooms!"

Jacob had stared, suddenly remembering where he was and embarrassed by his rant.

"Oh, I don't really want…" he said. The man was clearly insane.

"But you already bought it!" The man exclaimed, pressing it into his hand."No returns, No exchanges. Store policy. Enjoy your purchase!"

And so Jacob found himself outside the shop, wandering aimlessly. He shook off his confusion and tried to go back and ask what the hell had just happened, but he couldn't seem to remember where the shop was.

And so here he was, offering the BimBow to his wife, who refused it. Because of course she did. Maybe Jacob was the crazy one.

But what if….