I want it all

"I want you to fuck me." Buffy replied quickly her voice hushed and barely audible. "I want you to fuck me. And I want you to eat me out. And..." Buffy looked at Xander from the corner of her eye. "I want you to love me like I love you."

"Oh Sweetie." Joyce crooned and hugged her daughter.

Xander stared, partly because of shock -Buffy Summers said she loved him!- and partly because Buffy looking **** was almost unbearably cute to him. Blinking he answered without thinking, "I already love you. I never not loved you."

"I want you to love me like a lover not like a friend." Buffy sniffed, tears were a possibility.

"As more then a friend." xander frowned and tried to figure out how to explain his feelings. "You can't love someone and not be friends. That's... that's stupid. You have to like someone before you can love them. A relationship that doesn't have like will never really have love." Smacking his forehead with the heel of his palm xander groaned, "Shit, I'm sorry I'm... I'm doing a terrible job explaining this. But Buffy, I need you to believe me when I say this, I LOVE YOU."

"Then why are you fucking my mom?" Buffy pushed herself away from Joyce's loving hug. "What's wrong with me that you'd rather have a relationship with her instead?"

Joyce sensing that this was not something she should be in the middle of retreated from between the two of them and made her way back to her desk and out of the line of fire.

"Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you!" Xander turned and looked at Joyce, "I just... I just... I mean..." He looked back at Buffy and shrugged helplessly, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I just, y'know, love a lot of people. I don't love you less than your mom, I just love you two differently. Cause your different people. I don't love you less or her more, I just love." Xander ran a hand through his hair, "Shit, that sounds so dumb but I don't know how to say it any different."

He looked back at Joyce, "I love you." He turned and faced Buffy, "And I love you."

He took a step towards Buffy only for Buffy to take a matching step backwards. Xander stopped. Buffy stopped. "Buff, if I thought for a moment that you wanted to be with me nothing would stop me from being by your side. Do you remember the love spell? Do you remember what I said?"

Buffy slowly nodded her head, eyes drifting to the side as she lost herself in memories.

"But I need you to understand that I can't not love other people. It's how I'm wired. I love you. I love Joyce. I love Willow. I still even love Cordy." Xander took a step back, "I will always love you, I can't see a day where I won't love you. But I won't play favorites, I won't. I may love too many people but my guarantee is that I'll love everyone equally."

He took another step back, "You want me to love you? I do. You want me to be with you? I will. You want me to fuck you? Happy to. You want me to go down on you? I'll drop to my knees now."

"But why am I not enough?" Buffy asked with a whimper.

"You are."

"Then why do you love my mom?"

"Because she's awesome." Xander fidgeted and turned looking from Joyce to Buffy and back again, "You both deserve to have someone love you. You shouldn't be unloved. So if I can and I do, why shouldn't I? If I can give Joyce what she needs and I can give you what you need why shouldn't I give it? Isn't some better than none? Call me greedy but I want it all, I want to love everyone that I love."

"But that's not how this works." Buffy grumbled.

Xander shrugged, "We're weird. That's life on the hellmouth. As someone I trust once said 'Given that tomorrow we may die? Best to seize the day and grab what you can'." He gave Buffy a pointed look.

"I didn't say that." Buffy crossed her arms defensively. Eventually adding, "Exactly."

Getting down on his knees Xander looked up at Buffy, "I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner, but I'm asking now, Buff, do you want to be with me? The only thing I can guarantee is that I'll love you til the day I die." Xander canted his head to the side and grinned, "And to infinity and beyond."

With a snort Buffy siddled closer to him until she was standing directly in front of him. She pursed her lips for a second, opened her mouth then shut it and then bit her bottom lip. Finally with a snort a smirk crossed Buffy's face. "Sooo, were you serious?"

"Yes." Xander answered earnestly.

"You don't even know what I'm asking about." Buffy poked him in the forehead with her forefinger.

"Doesn't matter, I meant all of it." xander nodded his head.

Buffy bit her lower lip again, her cheeks flushed red and she timidly mumbled out, "Well... you are on your knees... and you did offer to do something while down on them?"

"I am a man of my word." Xander nodded his head, "Do you prefer I go diving or do you prefer riding?"

Buffy looked down at him blankly. Xander looked up and suddenly found himself tongue tied as he wasn't sure how to explain this.

"Buffy, either you sit in a chair and he dives in and eats you out or you sit on his face and he eats you out." Joyce chimed in from behind her desk. "I'm more of a giddyup girl, myself."

There was a long pause as all three of them absorbed the situation. Finally Buffy nodded her head, "Right. Good to know."