Up a creek, no paddle

"Delete. Delete, delete, delete, delete. Deeeeleeeete." Xander frantically hit the delete key on the keyboard. He felt his stomach drop when line 13 wouldn't delete. Delete did nothing. Backspace did nothing.

Xander stared at Master P.C. "Oooh, you bitch."

Sitting back he put his hands together and looked skyward, offering a prayer for any kind of help. Unclasping his hands he bent back over the keyboard and stared blankly while trying to figure out what to do next. Two minutes of staring and nothing came to him.

"Is it really that bad?" Xander asked himself.

Unbidden the new memories came to front of his memory. Old Joyce wasn't the same woman as New Joyce, New Joyce liked things a little more wild than Old Joyce. Joyce had tattoos now. She had a tramp stamp of inter linking roses and hearts plus a sleeve on her left arm that was all Japanese flowers and butterflies. And pierced nipples. Lower cut tops, mini skirts more than dresses and a predilection for sunbathing in small bikini's when Xander was around. Old Joyce's golden curls had gone and New Joyce wore bleached blonde hair in pig tails and pony tails. And at managed to work some form of come on or double entendre into any conversation with him, usually about his big dick and usually when Buffy was around. To both scandalize Buffy and provoke a reaction from Xander. And maybe to also get Buffy curious about whether he actually did have a big cock, although that was speculation on his part. Xander couldn't really say why Joyce kept bringing it up around him and Buffy.

And boy wasn't the New Buffy a surprise. Of course there was a new Buffy, he'd changed Joyce retroactively so New Joyce meant new Buffy. Who was kinda like the old Buffy only shorter, had more curves, slightly Asian and was definitely not a natural blonde. He felt a little gypped that for all the changes he'd made to Joyce that Buffy hadn't exactly gotten that much bigger in the boob department. His shallow side was miffed that Joyce had glorious I cup boobs and Buffy ended up with a large C cups. Bigger than she had been but not as big as they could have been. Maybe he could tweak that when all was said and done.... Xander snorted, half an hour ago he had joked about making Buffy shorter, now she was a diminutive four foot ten inches tall.

Then there was the fact that their sexual history had changed, New Joyce and xander were different from Old Joyce and Xander. First and foremost the relationship never really ended. Joyce would call, every once in awhile and he would cave and come over. Joyce could deep throat his new gargantuan cock, all the way down. He could also say that tit fucking, while fun, wasn't exactly his favorite; although Joyce's new bigger boobs were fantastic. And while he had lost his virginity to Faith that was only technically. He and Joyce moved on from just oral sex into anal sex. He was a little fuzzy on where the line was with losing his virginity, he was pretty sure it had to be vaginal sex. At least... that's what new Joyce had told him, anal didn't count.

And then there was Joyce's roommate. With Old Joyce that had been Pat, Joyce's freind from book club, a nice and frumpy middle aged woman who had regretfully died thanks to that stupid Nigerian zombie mask. New Joyce had a different roommate a young black woman named Sally. Who reminded Xander a little of Thandie Newton. Of course Sally wasn't a frumpy book club goer like Pat. She was young vibrant bi sexual who New Joyce had met at a club and brought home. Sally had just... never left. Xander had been introduced to Sally. And then gone down on Sally. Joyce and Sally and Xander had had some fun time activities. Until the Nigerian Zombie mask and both timelines ended with Joyce's roommate dead.

Xander snarled, "Fuuuuuck." It might have just been the fact that they were... intimate... but he'd liked Sally.

The only good thing to come out of the changes was that no one had noticed his relationship with Joyce. He did not need that bombshell exploding the group dynamic. His little flirtation with Willow was still 'the worst thing he'd ever done' that the group knew about.

New Joyce thought that was hilarious. She'd laughed her head off the day he'd explained the situation, then sat on his face and made him eat her out until she had an orgasm, then had him fuck her ass until he had an orgasm.

"Oy." Xander blinked and **** himself to look at the screen rather than get lost in his memories.

So the problem was he couldn't change things he'd written. Or rather he couldn't delete them. Or go back in and edit them. He could only make new wishes/orders/whatever this actually was. How the fuck was he supposed to fix this. Just write the same thing over again with 'looks like' this time?

This is so fucked up. Xander sniffed and looked over the image of Joyce on the screen. While he pondered how to fix his fuck up he supposed he better tweak what needed tweaks. New Joyce was physically great but not perfect.

Joyce had lost an inch or two in the change so he bumped her height back up, not to what it had been at five foot eight-ish but rather at a very commanding six foot one inch even. Xander wondered if this would change Buffy, it was hard to tell as some changes seemed to be working retroactively while others didn't. He'd find out when he pressed enter and reality changed. Xander went through the rest of the small tweaks quickly. Giving Joyce back her golden curls, erasing the tattoos, slimming her down a bit, bringing out her muscle tone and giving her some abs and a dancer's physique.

Maybe he did have a fetish, Xander grunted, he couldn't bring himself to change the fact that Joyce was part Asian now. He kinda liked that. And the pierced nipples, he liked those too. Xander hit enter and watched as reality changed and Joyce along with it.

Huh, guess it didn't effect Buffy. She was still her new less then five feet tall. Well, at least that complex about being short was... justified.

Xander looked at the clock. Twenty minutes left in class. He didn't have time to figure out how to get Master P.C. someplace safe, where only he could use it and fix Joyce back to... well, not how she was, but how he wanted her.

So how was he going to get Master P.C. somewhere safe?