Kenzo Kobiyashi, a down-on-his-luck newsman

"You lack a zest for life, Kenzo."

That's what my ex-wife told me before the divorce, five years ago now. Maybe she was right. I'm nearing forty and the stagnant nature of my job doesn't bother me any more than an opportunity for career advancement would excite me. By that I mean I'm fine where I am. Not happy, but fine. I think if I continue reading off the weather every weekday and occasionally getting called out to do some on-site reporting, that will be plenty for me. After that rocky divorce, I decided I'd appreciate the normal things in life. I eat the same breakfast every day, tie my tie the same way, check the weather on my phone, and then head into the studio. The only thing with any chance for error or surprise in that routine is if the weather happens to be a little rainy. Or hell, maybe it snows.

Today's a little less normal than usual, because I'm not going into the office. I've got an appointment elsewhere that's going to keep me out of my usual work.

However, before you get too excited about that "less normal," part, you should know where I'm going. That's right: the DMV.

Ordinarily, I'd drive my own car there. It's a boring little four-door sedan in boring gray-- not gunmetal, more like stone. It's a little too small for me, but it's plenty cheap. It gets me to work and that's all I need from it.

Today, I am, in fact, inside my own car, but I'm not driving. Instead, I sit in the passenger seat, resting my five-o-clock shadow against my fist. My chauffeur is my junior at work, a spunky weather girl named Akari. She's about half my age-- early twenties-- and she has all the "joie de vivre" I lack. I'm not sure why she hangs out with me now that my mentorship program is over. Maybe she's just happy to have a fellow Japanese transplant in the states to speak to? Maybe she pities me like the sad, middle-aged man I am? Either way, she brings me lunch every now and then and helps me with situations like this one. We watch each other's backs... Well, I think she watches mine more than I do hers.

She's pretty good looking in a different way from my ex-wife. Way too young for me, of course. Black hair-- classic Japanese black-- in a little ponytail. Brown, almond shaped eyes. When she's not at work-- like today-- she dresses trendy, like the college girls do. Leggings, hoodies, that sort of thing. Her body's small and thin compared to mine-- pretty, but not curvy. Her most charming feature is her smile and it's always on. People sometimes mistake her for my daughter at a distance, but it's not my words that convince them otherwise-- it's seeing her face, with a beaming, radiant smile that would look totally out of place on my sad mug.

"Hey, Kenzo!"

As she speaks up, I avert my eyes from her face. I sometimes wonder if she catches me looking... it's unprofessional on my part, not to mention ungrateful for all she does for me. She looks awfully cute in the miniskirt uniform we wear at the office, though...

"You're not sleeping, are you? This is your driving test coming up, you know? I can't believe you let your license expire. On top of that, you never would have known if I didn't happen to bring you your wallet when you left it at the office! I think you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders. I ought to check the expiration date on that, too! You have to let your license go for a super long time to end up having to redo the driving portion."

"Uh huh," I grumble in response. I know I made it sound like all upside, my relationship with Akari, but sometimes, she has a way of needling and nagging at me too.

The young girl sighs, then suddenly perks up. She grabs my smartphone out of the cup-holder and tries to thumb through the screen.

I realize with some annoyance that I left the screen unlocked. It looks like her careless thumb-swipes have been enough to download some random program onto my phone, probably something that'll use up all my data. In service of her keeping her eyes on the road while navigating morning traffic and me protecting my limited phone data, I snatch it from her and work with the lock screen myself. "What do you need my phone for?" I ask, glaring at her from behind my thick-framed glasses. I'm sorry, Akari-- I can't say it out loud but there's also stuff on my phone I can't have a lady thumbing through by accident...

"I just realized: you haven't even mentioned the weather once so far!"

"Yeah... so?"

She grins, presumably planning on teasing me about being so dull again."So? So you always bring up the weather! It's like, Small Talk 101, isn't it? Especially for you! Look, it's hard to get you to talk about anything at all. Of course I'm going to notice if you don't talk about the one thing you always talk about! I was just getting the weather up for you."

"Oh... huh, you're right. I didn't check the weather this morning. I basically always check it. What does it say..." I mutter to myself, intending to bring up my usual weather app. I notice something I've never seen before... a purple-pink raincloud app icon, reading Weird Weather. The suggestion is, frankly, offensive to me. Weird weather? The weather isn't weird, it's a predictable pattern based on observable metrics and atmospheric data collected by satellites. Did Akari accidentally install some stupid match-three game on my phone? I click it with the intention of uninstalling, but as usual, I hold my thumb there for too short a time and open the app instead.

What I saw caused my eyes to widen... This was no ordinary weather app. The text on screen made no sense right from the first screen.

"Welcome, Kenzo Kobayashi, to the Weird Weather App! Your account has been registered to this device. Please read the terms and conditions carefully. Take great care not to lose this device or you may be subject to unpredictable-"

I'm not interested in this part, so I thumb through quickly. I see something just behind the text box. It's a description of weather that defies reason...

"What's it say?" Akari questions again, with both eyebrows raised. "I've never known you to be one for dramatics. I hope it's not going to rain during your driver's exam..."