the Bitch

Tommy lived next door to Suzannah. Suzannah was a childless divorcée. One day Tommy looked out his bedroom window, which was directly across from Suzannah's bedroom window. She was topless and getting dressed, and she saw Tommy.

Later that day, she stormed next door and told Tommy's parents he was a perverted creep who was spying on her and she would call the cops and contact the Home Owners Association.

Tommy's parents were sympathetic but scared by Suzannah, so they made him keep his curtains closed.

Suzannah would complain about the "noise" Tommy and his friends made when playing basketball in the driveway or hanging out by his pool.

When Tommy turned 18 and graduated from high school, he was glad that after the summer he would go off to college. His parents left him alone for four days as they went on a second honeymoon. Tommy was on his lunchbreak from the grocery store where he worked as a bagger and stocker. He walked to a restaurant to get a burger and fries when he spied a small shop he had never seen. The sign said Bizarre Bazar: Antiques and Curiosities. He decided to go in.

"May I help you, young man?"

Tommy looked over and saw what appeared to be a kindly old man behind the counter.

"Just looking," said Tommy.

"That's fine. If there's anything that catches your eye, or anything you need to make your life easier, just let me know."

"If you can help me with my bitch neighbor," muttered Tommy.

"I can help with that."

"Oh I was mumbling to myself."

The old man reached under the counter and produced a ring. He put it on the counter.

"What's that?" asked Tommy as he approached the counter.

"The ring of élenchos myaloú," said the old man. "Anyone who looks at it will fall into a trance, and the wearer of the ring can command or input commands into the entranced mind as long as she is looking at it."

Tommy noticed the man said "she."