Uncomfortable

It was quiet.

Almost too quiet.

Xander stood to the side of the Summers women and waited. Watching as Buffy and Joyce looked at one another and said nothing. The urge to say something to break the tension was over powering. But he held his tongue, he didn't want to be the one to cause Buffy to go off. He also didn't want to be turned into a human pretzel by a pissed off Buffy.

Still... he needed to adjust himself. In all the hub bub he'd unceremoniously pulled his pants back up. He'd not exactly taken the time to make sure Captain Happy wasn't trapped in an uncomfortable position. And given he'd put the Captain away while still wet and sticky with certain fluids? Captain Happy was causing him discomfort.

Reaching down to make an adjustment he stopped when Buffy turned and glared at him.

"What?"

She spoke thru gnashed teeth, "What are you doing?"

"Buff, I..." Xander gestured at his crotch, "Things are... I mean..." Letting his head flop back he groaned, "I'm more than a little uncomfortable, here."

"So?" Buffy hissed.

Rolling her eyes Joyce stepped between Xander and Buffy, "Buffy, stop that." Joyce looked Xander over and with a slight smiled asked, "What's the problem?"

Looking past Joyce to the still pissed off Buffy Xander spoke softly, "She said cover up so I covered up. Fast. Things are... y'know?"

Joyce looked down at his crotch and raised an eyebrow, "Sticky?"

"Amongst other things." Xander nodded his head.

Joyce kept looking down staring at the erection in Xander's pants until she tilted her head to the side, "You didn't get to finish." as he nodded Joyce reached out and put her hand on his cheek, "Oh Xander, that's terrible."

"MOM!" Buffy yelped.

Joyce turned her head and glared at Buffy, "What?"

"Can you not?" Buffy gestured at the two of them.

Joyce faced Buffy and gave her daughter an imperious look, "Buffy, I know I told you this when we had The TALK but, apparently, I need to repeat it. One of the most important rules about sex is to make sure that you and your partner both have a satisfying experience. If everyone orgasms, everyone goes home happy."

Buffy looked away, "This is different."

"Just because it's me and Xander doesn't make it different. It's a rule for a reason. It applies to everyone." Joyce paused and canted her head to the side and gave Buffy a meaningful look, "Unless your into edging...."

Buffy shook her head violently, "No. No, ewww! Muh-om stop talking about sex!"

Joyce smirked and looked at Xander, "She spends the past year griping about not being treated like an adult but the minute we start talking about sex like an adult would and suddenly she's a squeamish kid."

"UGH!" Buffy turned away.

"Now you can either leave or you can act like an adult and deal with the fact that we are talking about sex." Joyce turned her attention back to Xander, "Now, Xander, how bad do you need to cum? And how can we help?"

"MOTHER!" Buffy fisted her hands and put them on her hips, she leaned forward and snarled, "WE? WE HELP?"

Xander looked from Joyce to Buffy with worry, "Joyce, please don't get me killed."

Joyce patted his cheek, "Don't worry, Xander, nothing bad is going to happen to you." She turned and stared at Buffy, "Am I clear? No ONE is going to be killing anyone else."

Buffy had a slow evil smile come across her face, "Hey, it's Sunnydale."

Xander rubbed a hand across his face, "Yeah, that's comforting."

Joyce clicked her tongue, "Well, Buffy, I said WE because I was wondering if getting you laid would help you relax." Joyce had a beatific smile on her face, "Trust me, a good orgasm does wonders."

Xander looked away as Buffy both grimaced in a rage but flushed in embarrassment.

Clapping her hands together Joyce announced, "Well, everyone who wants to cum is welcome to stay. Anyone who's going to throw a hissy fit is welcome to leave."