food for thought

"Ugh." Xander looked at the screen and tried to think of a wrong that needed righting. Something BIG that needed to be addressed. And for him and the "Scooby Gang" that usually meant vampires. It would be nice to think that he could write in something like every vampire dies tonight at midnight ....buuuut somehow he didn't think that would work. The tutorials said he could change the world but they didn't provide any kind of really rigid hard and fast rules. the rules on this thing were pretty vague actually, which when your dealing with- what even was Master P.C.- magic kinda made sense. It made a kind of sense, since finding out about the supernatural being weird Xander had seen first hand that Magic made absolutely no sense.

So....

He wanted to do something about vampires. However he couldn't do something that would just wipe them out. Maybe. Probably. So how do you curb vampires on a global scale? Prevent them from killing someone every night.

Have every Vampires teeth fall out?

Xander shook his head, that wasn't going to work, not all vampires killed for food. Just most of them.

Still.... Reducing 80% of all vampire fatalities would be a good thing.

Right? Right.

So change how vampires feed or? Xander scrunched up his face in thought. okay, so the flipside of vampires feeding is what vampires eat. Xander raised an eyebrow, that could work. Change what vampires eat... but to what? Xander snorted, they can eat shit... ha... ha... ha.... where's the rimshot funny man? Okay, so what other bodily fluid was there? There was blood and piss and shit and snot and bile and... puss? Whatelse? Period blood? No, that was just gross. And it was still blood. Groaning Xander put his head in his hands.

Blinking as an idea occurred as Xander looked down at his crotch. He looked up and let out a contemplative hmmm. Succubus were supposed to survive by eating a man's, uh, essence. So why not vampires? Did Succubus actually exist? Xander made a mental note to ask Giles about the facts of Succubi. So.... Sperm. It was one of the building blocks of life, right? So Vampires survive by drinking sperm wasn't that far fetched. Right?

So why did that feel like a bad idea?

Because organizations like the Watcher's Council would probably kill just as many gay guys as vampires. Those guys were of the better safe than sorry opinion. Main branch Watcher guys were assholes.

Wait, that's assuming Vampires would get 'dinner' by sucking it out the usual way. What if they just bit a guy's nuts off? xander couldn't help but cringe and cross his legs. Hell, even if they just bit into a guys nuts it made him wince in sympathy.

Xander thumped his forehead with the heel of his palm. There had to be a way to make this work without getting a bunch of gay guys killed on accident. So the only way to save the gay guys was to.... Remove guys from the equation? Time to see how powerful the Master P.C. actually was as this was going to be a global change for sure.

09- All Vampires are females.

Xander concentrated on his new memories and.... Xander jumped in his seat. Holy SHIT! It worked. A global change that effected not only the now but also the past. Every vampire he had ever read about or encountered were women. Xander frowned, although it didn't work exactly the way he thought it should. rather than only women being vampires it now seemed that being turned into a vampire actually now made you a woman and a vampire. Magic had to make everything weird.

Okay. That was weird. xander shrugged, time to press on.

10-Vampires do not drink blood to survive. Vampires drink sperm to survive.

Once again with his eyes closed Xander focused on his new past and went over his memories of vampires feeding. Usually by... seduction. Yeah, it worked. Hot women leading unsuspecting men into private locations and then giving the guy a blow job or two. Xander smiled wide, score one for the perverts.

Looking at the listed commands Xander smiled even wider. That had taken two commands. Orders? what did he even call these? Wishes?

Whatever, it had been two for the world so that meant the next two were for him.