I Shouldn't

"I...shouldn't," Lois said, then took a breath for the big lie. "The thing is, I'm pregnant." hoping the excuse sounded plausible. The reporter didn't know what the **** was, and given that she needed her wits about her, wasn't ready to take a random designer ****.

"Oh," Maria said. The pause lengthened out into an awkward silence.

"I just found out today," Lois decided to elaborate on the lie. "That's...kind of why I came here. To party a little. Gonna be a long nine months...well, eight months, two weeks...before I can really party again, right?" She laid a hand on her stomach. "I know what I said before, I just...I don't think I should risk it."

Maria took a deep breath herself. "So you're...going to keep it?"

Lois nodded, not sure where this was going.

"That's...awesome!" Maria laid her hand on top of Lois' the glass pipe with the strange **** entirely forgotten. "To think, you've got a baby in your belly right now...you're going to be a mom!" Her voice betrayed her excitement.

"Your tits are going to swell, and get tender as they fill with milk..." the woman said, putting her arm around her to cup the reporter's left breast. "...and the nipples will darken. You'll put on weight as your stomach starts to distend...hips widen...hmm, you're going to be quite the MILF..." Suddenly Maria tensed up. "So...uh...I take it you didn't do IVF...is the father..."

"Out of the picture," Lois said, smoothly. "And it's probably better that way. I wasn't...y'know, looking to get pregnant or anything, and I was a little shocked when I found out. I'm not...normally into men." Lois tried to make herself believe that was true. Obviously Maria was into the whole pregnancy thing, and if she could get the barmaid to open up... "But I'm not...unhappy about it."

"Were you ****?" Maria said in a more serious tone of voice, and Lois couldn't be sure which answer the other woman was looking for.