Herself

"...me!"

At her exclamation, both engineers just stared at her, baffled that she'd even suggest such a thing. "You want me to change you?" Toby asked, mouth agape.

"Yeah!" She confirmed, as though this kind of thing happened every day. "You already used it on Matt, no? Besides, like I said, for this to work you need a control group. You make the change, I'll be your subject, and Matt will be the judge. He knows me better than anyone."

"But babe," Matt said, turning to his girlfriend with pleading eyes, "If this works, and that's a big if, have you considered what might happen?"

She shrugged, unconcerned. "I'll change to whatever Toby calls me, right? That's how it works? It's what you two were trying to do, right? Why the change of heart, now that I'm involved. Is it because you love me?" She asked her last question with a mocking tone in her voice, clearly intent on making fun of her boyfriend.

In response, he crossed his arms, annoyed. "Fine." She put her hand on his thigh, as a sign of comfort. "But nothing perverted Toby! Don't pull any of that shit."

"Relax!" The other engineer replied, aiming the ring at Samantha. "I've got the perfect thing." He paused for effect and smiled at the girl.

"Devoted articulate illeist."

Just like before, the ring faintly flashed with no discernible effect. However, while Toby lifted the ring to examine it, Matt just eyed his best friend, staring him down. "What did you just call her? Illeist?"

"It's someone who refers to themselves in the third person, you idiot." Samantha answered before Toby could. "Seriously, after knowing your girlfriend for as long as you have, she'd hoped you'd know that by now."

"Wait, what?" He said, not turning towards Samantha. "You've never done that!"

"She's always done that." The girl countered, eyeing her boyfriend down. "Your girlfriend has been devoted to speaking in third person for as long as you've known her! Don't act like this is something new!"

As she ranted, Matt slowly realized what had happened, turning wide-eyed towards Toby, who had been watching the bickering couple with the same realization. "Holy shit, it works!" They screamed in unison.

Samantha was the only one not sharing their enthusiasm. "What do you mean, it worked?" She switched her gaze between the two boys, not realizing what had just happened.

Toby however was searching for answers. "Sam, how long have you been speaking this way?"

"Since she learned how to talk."

"Why?"

"Because she wants too."

"And haven't you stopped?"

"No, she's devoted to her illeism!" Her tone indicated she wasn't enjoying this round of twenty-questions.

"Incredible..." Toby whispered as he leaned back onto his haunches, staring at the redhead. Matt had stayed quiet while he observed the whole exchange, shocked at what he'd just witnessed. Samantha, growing more annoyed with the boys by the seconds, kept eyeing the two of them, unsure what to make of the situation.

It was a while before it dawned on her. She raised in alarm, jumping between the two of them. "Is this funny to you two?"

Her question brought the two of them out their shock. "What do you mean?" Matt asked, growing concerned.

"You made this whole thing up, didn't you? This bullshit about a magic ring and not knowing about your friend's illeism! You made it up for a quick laugh? You think it's fun making jokes about Samantha's speak pattern? Because if this is a prank, she wants it to stop!"

"Babe, babe!" Matt started, wrapping his arm around her to pull her back onto the couch. "Toby and I would never make fun of you like that. Look, we're sorry for our reaction, okay? We shouldn't have pushed it as far as we did."

"You don't know what it's like!" She sniffed, forgoing her attempts to push her boyfriend away. "It's just..." And she sat back down onto the couch with a huff, crossing her arms as she pouted. Matt pulled her close and mouthed "Holy shit!" to Toby from behind her head, nudging towards the ring.

Toby just looked back towards the gem adorned piece of jewelry, marveling at the possibilities.