Happy 40th birthday!*

Jane was celebrating her 40th birthday. Well, sort of. She was in fact drinking alone in her apartment playing on her phone. Turning 40 was tough for a woman and Jane found herself a bit depressed. So she was drinking wine and texting her best friend Meg.

Happy Birthday O ancient one Meg wrote.

Fuck you! Jane wrote, feeling some real bitterness

Oh come, it's perfectly natural. Meg replied. You get older, your tits start to sag, your ass turns into a deflated volleyball and you wither and die alone!

This was how the pair was with each other. Catty and bitchy in only the way close female friends could be. The problem was, Jane was ultra sensitive today.

You don't know what you're talking about! My body is nicer than ever I'll have you know! Jane wrote defensively.

Sure, if you consider wrinkles, saggy tits and a neck like the crypt keeper nice!

You're dead wrong Meg. Maybe you're projecting your own issues on me. Jane wrote, trying to put her friend in her place.

Oh yeah? Prove it! Meg wrote. Show me what you're working with, and I'll tell you if you're a MLF, or a saggy old maid who's trying too hard.

"That's it Meg!" Jane said, standing shakily on drunken legs. "You want to see this bod, you've got it!"

Jane stumbled towards the bathroom, yanking off her shirt and bra as she did. She tugged down her pajamas and comfy white panties, letting all her clothes fall on the floor as she made her way into the bathroom. Jane threw on the lights and stood in front of the mirror. She smirked. She was just as hot as ever! Meg had no idea what she was talking about, and Jane was going to show her what was really up!

So, posing carefully, thrusting out her tits, sucking in her stomach and doing duck lips, Jane snapped a photo and pressed 'send'...