Federal Genital Inspector Badge - Ranma 1/2

Akane Tendo was on her way home from school when the little metal box bounced off the top of her head. She stopped and glared around to see who dropped it from above or perhaps thrown it at her. There wasn't any likely delinquents, however, and she bent down with a furrowed brow to pick up the offending item.

She opened it and found two items a shiny official looking badge of some kind and a little notepad. On the first page was a column of printed text:

Welcome, agents. When a man or woman is shown your Federal Genital Inspector badge they will allow their genitals to be 'inspected', whatever the operator of the badge deems that to consist. If something about the genitlas are not satisfactory (and size is not the only quality that can be changed) the owner can write a ticket recommending changes with the notepad, and the changes will take place as soon as the person takes hold of the torn-off sheet. Remember agents the genitals (i.e. vagina/penis and scrotum) are your sole jurisdiction and technically the only thing that the tickets can refer to, though other areas can be changed with clever wording: e.g. 'Your penis is excellent but would be complimented better by a more muscular body'.

Good luck agents, and remember you are federal employees - there are daily quotas to be met. These vary each day but be assured that if you fail to meet your daily quota there will be punitive consequences...

Akane got through the absurd perverted text but she was practically seething with disgust and fury by the end. She shoved the badge and the pad back in the box and chucked it over the fence.

She continued on her way without a backward glance.

Akane was helping Kasumi cook dinner when she turned away from the cutting board to pour the chopped carrots into the boiling pot that her sister was stirring. Her eyes fell upon that same metal box sitting on the cutting board. Again she looked furiously around but found no one and she snatched it up and shoved it into the garbage can.

Akane was training in the dojo. Legs splayed and perched upon the balls of her feet, she alternated striking with each arm her palms open and towards the ceiling. Something made contact with her hand and she opened her eyes. The box was in her hand. With a scream of rage she closed her fist around it and swung back. She heaved and threw it with all of her strength and it shot right through the wall of the dojo leaving a small square hole.

It appeared five more times that night and each time Akane went to greater lengths to ensure that it would stay gone. But nothing seemed to help. At one point, she'd taken the time to investigate it more fully in the hopes of figuring out what was going on. The only information she found was on the back of the first page. It had today's date typed out as well as the words: Quota- 1 male 1 female. That was all.

She looked over at Ranma who was sitting on the other side of the couch from her. Should she tell him about this crazy thing. She was to say the least. She didn't want anyone to see her with this stupid hentai badge least of all her fiance. Still, the fact that it kept showing up meant it was probably some sort of ridiculous magic item that was going to inevitably cause trouble whatever she did.

With a sigh, she extended her hand out to him with the badge, “Hey Ranma, look at this.”

“Yea? What is it- Oh. Oh.” There was definite recognition in his eyes as he looked at the badge as well as a slowly growing flush to his cheeks.

Akane was instantly mad, “So it was you!! You were messing with me all day with this stupid thing? What is it? Some cowardly way to get me to inspect you down there?!”

Ranma was on his feet and stepping backwards looking annoyed, “Yea right. If I knew you had that inspector badge, I wouldn't be hanging around here! What? You didn't get a good enough look that first day?!”

Akane only got angrier when he denied it like she was an idiot or something. Well aware that Nabiki and Kasumi were just in the other room, she snapped, “Well, if you want me to see it so bad just go ahead and whip it out then.”

Ranma rolled his eyes and grimaced, “Right here? Really?”

Then he heaved a sigh and dropped his pants and underwear.

Akane's eye twitched as she stared at her fiance's flaccid member hanging beneath his curly thatch of black pubic hair.

And of course, Nabiki and Kasumi chose that moment to enter the room.

Nabiki was saying, “...it was fine. I just- uh...woah. What is going on in here?”

“Oh my!” exclaimed the elder sister as she saw Ranma with his pants down and Akane on the couch right in front of him.

An absolutely mortified Akane fought to find an acceptable explanation. A red faced but otherwise relaxed Ranma just affably said, “Akane's a Federal Genital Inspector now apparently. So uh yea... here we are.”

Akane scoffed. She could not believe he had the balls to keep up with this stupid charade of his-

Nabiki nodded knowingly with a smirk, “Using your official status to check up on the fiance? I'm impressed.” She moved forward to lean on the couch and watched with interest. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let's see that sucker hard!”

Kasumi moved over to her sister's side and spoke with mild admonishment, “Nabiki. Let Akane do her job. I'm sure she has some sort of procedure she has to follow.”

That was too much. Akane could see Nabiki going along with this farce because it amused her. But not Kasumi. No way. No way at all...