!cigaM ezylanA

Gently, the witch raised her gloved hands to either side of Lois Lane's head and mouthed the words of a brief incantation.

Something ran through her head. An invisible **** seemed to be crawling, just under the reporter's face. It tickled. She stared blankly at Zatanna, her eyes falling down to the woman's boobies. They were so much bigger than the reporter's.

"I like your boobies," Lois said. "Did you take those pills from the internet?"

Zatanna frowned, then took her hands away.

"O-kay...bad news and...bad news. I just ran a divination spell, and it's a mother of a curse. We're talking old, old magic. You offended something ancient, nasty, and powerful, and it doesn't like how you've been living your life. Thinks you're too smart for your own good. So it is slowly draining away your intelligence."

Lois blinked, then trembled as the meaning of the words sank in.

"I don't feel less smart." She protested.

Zatanna set her mouth in a grim line. "Most people don't. But you've already been...losing things. And you're going to go on losing things, until you're operating on the level of a chimpanzee."

The witch took a deep breath. "But there's a loophole."

Lois' eyes brightened. "What is it?"

"You have to get knocked up."

The reporter felt her jaw drop. After a minute, she remembered to close it.

"The goddess that idol represents," Zatanna gestured toward the statue. "It's a fertility goddess. Very primeval. She doesn't understand women's liberation, or birth control, or One Child Policy. We're talking back in caves where women had kids as soon as possible and as many as possible in order to grow the tribe because there was safety in numbers and maybe a few would survive to adulthood to perpetuate the species. So if you get pregnant, the intelligence drain reverses and you should be back to normal."

Lois blinked. Her heard was hurting again. She rubbed her temples.

"A baby," she said. "I mean, I always thought one day...maybe...but I don't even have a boyfriend!"

Zatanna cracked her knuckles. "Oh, we can get you pregnant. That isn't a problem. The question is...do you want to? I can still try to break the curse. I don't know if I can reverse the intelligence loss you've already incurred but..."

"No," Lois said. The pain was steadily building in her temples now, and it was getting harder to think, but she was sure about one thing: she didn't want to be dumb. "Just...how do we do this? How do I get pregnant?"

"Well, I could call someone to...do the job," Zatanna said. "Or if you want, I can impregnate you myself."