Steal A Phallic Idol

The Metropolis Museum of History. Midnight.

Lois Lane waited for the janitors to come out on their smoke break. They didn't like to have to badge back in the building. Left the door propped open with a folded copy of the Daily Planet. The reporter waited until they weren't looking to slip inside.

She had interviewed Catwoman once. It was supposed to be a thinkpiece, part of a series on how supercriminals think. The Catwoman had been elusive, but honest. The thing that she had said that most stuck with Lois had been: security is designed to keep people out, not in. Once you know that, the rest is easy.

The janitors had lockers. Spare overalls. With her hair tied back, a baseball cap, and a broom in her hands, no-one would look twice at Lois on the security cameras.

The reporter made a bee-line for the new display that had gone up in the last week. "Treasures of Themyscira" was the theme. A ship that had sunk off the coast. Clay pots and bronze swords, bits of twisted gold wire that used to be jewelry, the broken statues of warrior women. The Daily Planet had done a big, lavish double-page spread. Wonder Woman had come in for the opening ceremony.

Lost amid the treasures was the little glass display case that Lois sought.

It was made of Corinthian bronze, the almost black-looking alloy that took on a peculiar purple patina. An eight inch-long phallic structure, two inches in diameter at the base, tapering to a rounded dome an inch and a half wide at the top. Letters were etched into the round, flat base, which looked as though it should be attached to something. The display case called it part of a "votive statue of Pan," but Lois suspected it had other uses.

Why else would Blaze want her to steal it?

The lock was nothing special. The artifact might be priceless, but it wasn't gold and anyone who came this far would be expected to have already passed through museum security. Lois could pick it with a hairpin, and did.

It was in her hands, the case relocked and empty within thirty seconds.

There was only one complication...