Maria Is Very Happy

"Tasty," Maria said, as she rubbed her stomach. A literal gutful of piss. "Have you ever tried it?"

"No," Lois Lane said.

"Did you want to?" Maria's eyebrows went up. "I could probably—"

"Maybe later," Lois said, in a tone of voice that suggested that "later" was around the time the sun burned out. "Just...what the fuck is going on here? How did I grow a dick? What do you know about the women that have gone missing?"

Maria blinked. She still smiled, but there was a brittle quality to the smile now. Lois watched the eyes. The reporter knew that expression. Fear.

"Who are you afraid of?" Lois said, in a softer tone.

"I..." Maria stopped. She looked at Lois...no, not at her, but behind her. Lois turned...

Something hard pressed against the back of her head. The reporter recognized the barrel of a gun.

"Easy now, Lane," a familiar voice said. "No sudden moves. I'd hate to put a bullet in you. After all, you're one of us now."

"Us?" Lois said.

"Penis-havers. Phallically gifted. Hermaphrodites. Dickgirls."

"Uh-huh," Lois reached down and lifted up her limp dick. "How big am I compared to average?"

The pressure of the gun barrel against her head eased up, just a fraction—and Lois drove her elbow backward, hit a body so hard that the shock went up her arm. The reporter spun and ducked, her left hand in a fist, shot forward...and stopped short as she saw the gun barrel fixated squarely on her left eye.

"Not bad, Lane," Mercy Graves said. "Bigger than mine. But it's not just the size. It's how you use it."

The reporter's mind raced. Mercy Graves. Lex Luthor's bodyguard. That meant Lex Luthor. That meant...

Lois frowned. She didn't know what it meant.

"What does Lex Luthor want with dickgirls?" She asked.