I Have To Get Married

The dickgirl, faced by both the recently-inseminated reporter and the intruding Kryptonian, looked embarrassed.

"I was overthrown from my throne in hell. Banished," she managed, as if dragging the words out of herself. "If I return, I'll be torn to pieces, my spirit blasted and consigned to the Abyss. But I can't stay here forever. It costs me to remain here...I grow weaker every day. Eventually, I will be **** to return. Unless..."

She cast her heavy-lidded gaze at Lois. "...unless I am bound to this world by an oath of union with a mortal, to bind our lives together."

Lois found herself oddly touched. "So that's why you were here? To meet women?"

Blaze coughed. A rosy glow came to her cheeks, the dickgirl's blush burning bright. "In truth, I recognized you when you entered. When I saw you head in here I...saw an opportunity and took it."

Superman glowered, but said nothing.

"And the women that have gone missing?"

The dickgirl looked pained. "I...might have made overtures to some other women. But you know how seldom these things work out. Yet we all keep trying, like fools..."

"Answer the question, Blaze," Superman said, irritation in his voice.

Blaze sighed. "They rejected me. So I damned them to New Jersey."

That caused Lois to blink.

"What?" she said.

"New Jersey. It's technically an outpost of hell. I sent them there. Look, I know it was stupid, but I was really upset..."

"Bring them back," Superman said, voice brooking no argument.

The dickgirl shuffled her feet. "Do I have to?"

"Not open for discussion." Lois crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Bring them back or I'm never fucking you again."

The demon sighed, took a deep breathe...and threw back her head, arms spread. Black lightning crackled down the length of her body, a small arc even leaping off the tip of her cock to contact the metal pipe under the sink...and smoke billowed up from the cracked gout between the tiles of the bathroom floor. A strange wind seemed to blow...Lois smelled pine woods and asphalt...

Gently, Superman blew away the smoke...and four women stood there, looking rather post-apocalyptic.

"Oh god," A blonde said that Lois recognized as Jenny Dunlap. "Are we...we're back in that fucking restroom!"

The women's eyes focused on Blaze, who stood there, looking at them cooly.

"It's that bitch!" The petite Asian woman said. She was holding a primitive but effective-looking spear.

"I've spent two weeks eating fucking squirrels!" A strawberry blonde screamed...and, indeed, seemed to be wearing the skins of several of them around her waist like a skirt.

"I want to go home," A young Hispanic woman collapsed on the ground.

"Ladies!" Lois declared. "I'm Lois Lane, a reporter for the Daily Planet..."

"There's, um, jizz dripping out of your cooch," Jenny pointed out. Lois ignored her.

"...and this is Superman! You've all been rescued. We're going to deal with the supervillain, and the rest of you should...go home."

Lois bent down, found her jacket, and fished out some cash from a hidden pocket.

"Here's some cab fare." She offered.

The women grabbed it and, still looking pretty feral, exited the bathroom.

"I think that went about as well as could be expected," Blaze said, hands on her hips. "So...what now?"