Lois Researches The Cramps

The reporter put her hand to her stomach. She was bloated. Her stomach was ticking out, and firm to the touch. Putting thoughts of the idol way for a few minutes, she decided to google her symptoms.

Half an hour on WebMD later, Lois Lane was half-convinced she was either suffering from cancer, a rare and incurable African parasite, or an hysterical pregnancy (that may also be caused by cancer). Her mind swam with images of ovarian cysts, hormones run amuck, autoimmune diseases. The reporter shook her head. She had to pee.

Unplugging the laptop, she took it with her into the toilet. Medical science didn't seem to have any of the answers the reporter craved, so Lois started plugging her symptoms into the more esoteric databases. Just as if she was doing background research on an article on the Jersey Devil or cases of possession.

What was weird was that she was finding something...

"Rash of false pregnancies. Cramps, bloating, swollen bellies and breasts," Lois read out loud an article from the Daily Planet, 27 February 1887. "The women of the neighborhood have all complained of such symptoms, which only appear within the proximity of a certain house, and fade when gone from it. Some maids who worked there were much in distress, speaking of giving milk from their breasts, though they had never been with child. A doctor consulted felt that it was all due to the powerful impression on the women's feeble minds, brought about by the image of a certain idol that the owner of the house kept in his parlor, within view of the window..."

Lois frowned, scanned quickly over a couple of pages of misogynist bullshit about weak women and maternal impressions. What she wanted was more facts...the name of the owner of the house at least...ah, here it was.

"The owner, a Miss Angelique Blaze, claims to have noticed no odd effects from the stone image. Yet her mien is such that of a man, perhaps she is less susceptible to the powerful impressions given off by the Item. Following many complaints, she has agreed to place the idol in the basement of the house, where no passerby may gaze on it."

No pictures to go with the article. No idea if the idol mentioned was her idol, the one in the other room...although from where she sat on the toilet, staring out the door of the bathroom, Lois could just see the curve of its belly. The newspaper gave the street—the same that the club was now on, Lois noticed, and in the 1880s would have been ground-floor shops with apartments above for the most part. And that was interesting in itself. Pure coincidence?

Only one way to find out.

"Okay, Miss Angelique Blaze," Lois stood up and wiped herself, flushing the toilet and walking back into the kitchen with her laptop. "Let's find out who you were..."