Epilogue: Erectile Dysfunction

"Lane! Any luck on that missing persons case?"

"Sorry, chief," Lois Lane said. "I didn't find any clues at that club."

"Hmph," he grunted. "Well, backburner it. I need you to work on this new series: interviews with superheroines. How they work, how heroing impacts their daily lives. I've got the first of them scheduled for tomorrow."

"Sure, chief," Lois said with a smile. "Sounds great."

The rest of the day went smoothly, for the most part. In the bathroom, Lois had a moment of difficulty getting her panties back on over her cock, but she managed to tuck it away without too much trouble. It was the strangest thing, she couldn't remember having any trouble with her dick before...and something about that thought bothered her, all afternoon. Like she had forgotten something important, a name or a date, but couldn't bring it to mind.

It was still bothering her when she got home that evening.

Monday nights were pretty standard for the Daily Planet's most eligible bachelorette: research and write until the wee hours, and then allow herself a little happy fun time. Except as Lois Lane sipped her pinot noir, opened up one of her favorite romance novels, and stroked her flaccid cock...she realized that this wasn't doing it for her.

Thumb and forefinger squeezed the shaft behind the head, but her dick remained stubbornly soft. The reporter ran her hand from the base to just behind the tip, over and over, as she read the passage which should have made her hot...the pirate queen had just flicked the buttons off the nobleman's shirt, and was preparing to lower herself onto his loins, her cutlass at his throat...but even though she could feel the sexual arousal, her dick didn't budge. It was a bit swollen, but not even half-erect.

Lois couldn't remember having such trouble masturbating before...and once again she got that intense sensation of having forgotten or missed something. She had masturbated every Monday night since she had started to live on her own, and she'd never had trouble getting...

"Ugh," Lois grunted at a sudden headache. Like somebody was driving a nail right into the front of her skull. "What the hell..."

She put the book down. It obviously wasn't working for her. The reporter got up and decided to check her "secret drawer." It wasn't that much of a secret, really; a false bottom to her sock drawer that held her sex toys. On her hands and knees, the head of the soft cock hanging limp below her, Lois sorted through the small collection of dildos and vibrators...and her brow furrowed. There really wasn't much here that she could use, unless she wanted to pretend to fellate something, or stick it up her butt. Even the narrowest of the vibes was too thick for her urethra...and there was that damn sense of missing something again.

Shrugging it off, the reporter picked out a standard, but strong, vibrating wand. She placed fresh batteries in it, and went back to her chair. Eschewing her normal literature, she booted up the laptop, engaged private browsing mode, and brought up PornHub. Normally, Lois preferred something with a plot, but tonight she felt she needed something more immediately engaging. One quick orgasm before bed was all she was after.

Lois clicked on the Cosplay category. Women decked up as Raven, Starfire, Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Batgirl...and fictional characters like Kim Possible, various Disney princesses, Star Wars characters. All of the models at least 18 years old, regardless of the source material. The reporter scrolled through a few pages before she found something that seemed ready-made to fit the bill: the evil queen from Snow White getting double-penetrated by her servants.

The reporter opened up the video and let the scene from "Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs" unfold. Music blared, and moans; not quite loud enough to cover the buzz of the vibrating wand as she flicked it into life.

The soft, vibrating head felt weird between her legs. Instinctively, Lois had pressed it against the base of her cock, and she could definitely feel the vibrations there, shaking the roots of her penis. Yet her dick remained soft. Even as the pressure built up inside of her. She tried moving the vibrator as queen on the bed lowered her ass onto the cock of one of her retainers, hoping that the sensitive head might respond to the strong vibrations...but as good as it felt, it the cockhead remained soft. Also, weirdly, unfamiliar. But she's been maturbating for years, surely she had...

"Fuck," Lois muttered. The spot of pain in her head was back, and looking at the hard cocks plowing the evil queen's pussy and ass at the same time while her own dick remained utterly unresponsive just made it worse. Her finger stabbed out and closed the video. She ran the buzzing vibrating wand up and down the length of her dick. Squeezed her nipples—and those got hard, no problem there—but her penis just wouldn't budge.

"What the fuck is wrong with me!? Lois Lane growled in frustation as she stared down at her limp dick. A bit of clear precum oozed out of the cockslit, but otherwise it was just shrinking. What the hell was going on? A grown woman like her shouldn't have this much trouble getting an erection! She had never...

"Ow!" Pain spiked through her head. Lois turned the vibrator off. Obviously, an orgasm wasn't happening tonight. She popped the batteries and put the useless toy back in the drawer. The headache was fading, but she rummaged in the cabinet for some Tylenol PM anyway. Maybe it was stress...that unfinished story about the missing women. Lois had read somewhere how stress could cause erectile dysfunction.

She popped the pills and washed them down with a glass of wine, even though she knew she shouldn't. The reporter pondered about getting some Cialis or Viagra. After all, just because she hadn't had sex lately didn't mean she wanted to be all limp if she ever did get somebody to come home with her. She wanted to be able to perform normally after all.

There was something wrong with that, though. Lois could clearly remember that she'd never needed pharmaceutical help getting an erection before, but thinking back to when she had actually had sex, the memories were...

Pain stabbed through her head, blotting out the thought. The reporter finished her glass of wine and headed to bed. She needed to sleep this off. Maybe with her luck she'd have some morning wood, and this would all be over with then. At least, before she had the first interview with one of the superheroines.