Batman Doesn't Wear Condoms

Zatanna sipped her tequila more slowly than Wonder Woman. No Amazon physiology, the **** would hit her purely human body harder and more quickly. When she set it down, she closed her eyes and began to speak.

"For a while, I was in a relationship with Batman. It just...happens like that sometimes, in the Justice League. You've heard about the things that Olympic athletes get up to in the villages around the games, right? You've got a lot of people in the most fantastic shape of their lives, really attractive, and the excitement builds and the dangerous missions are stressful as hell, and when they get a quiet moment they need to...well, yeah, lots of sex. Sometimes just casual hook-ups, but this time I...well, it was a couple of years ago."

The witch opened her big blue eyes and stared down into her shot glass.

"It was after a mission. The League has separate showers for men and women, but I found out that Batman was showering alone...and I was feeling frisky. There was no-one else around. So I just took off my clothes and walked in. He must have heard me...and he didn't pretend to not know why I was there. No silly jokes about washing each other's back or anything. It's like he just understood, you know? And he was hard for me. So that first time...I had my back against the wall, and the hot water was pouring down on both of us, steam everywhere, and he was moving in me and he was...it was...really good."

"I thought we had something. We found more excuses to run into each other. I'd pay little visits to Gotham over the next week or two. That first time, I hadn't really thought about protection, and after the next couple of times I was starting to do the math, except...he never wore a condom, not once. Never asked me to wear one, or if I was on the pill, or anything. I don't know if it's just because he figured it was my look-out, or..."

She grimaced, set the glass down, and pushed it toward Wonder Woman. The Amazon carefully refilled it...but Lois also grabbed a bottle of water and pushed it toward Zatanna, who twisted off the top and took a swig of water.

"So yeah. I missed a period, took a test. Preggers. Debated how I should approach him about it. Except...I think he knew. Like, it's Batman, he never gives anything away, but he started scheduling me for monitor duty, didn't want me going out into the field...trying to sideline me. And I didn't like that. So I used magic. Ycnangrep trever. The fertilized egg just goes right back up the fallopian tube. Which was my first mistake. I didn't think it through. Because the next month, I'd ovulate again, and I'd have the fertilized egg and a new, unfertilized egg released at the same time."

"My second mistake is that I continued the affair. I swear to God, he knew. When I wasn't pregnant, he got interested again. Found ways for us to spend time together. Never really sexually aggressive, but...more available. Always hard for me when I wanted to go. Always made me cum. Always blew his load straight up inside my pussy. Never, ever wore a condom."

"You got pregnant again," Lois said. "With twins?"

"Like the first time," Zatanna was shaking a bit. "Batman was sidelining me again. But if magic helped once, it could help again. So I used the same spell...and we fell into this weird routine. It was...it wasn't healthy. I think I knew, after about the twelfth time I cast the spell, that it couldn't go on. Because the hormones were affecting me. You know what it's like, when your body thinks it's pregnant every two weeks for a year? More pregnant every time? I was gaining weight. My breasts were getting bigger. I started to lactate...and that's what twigged it to me, the way he'd squeeze my tits, watch the milky drops form and run down my nipples. He was getting off on knocking me up. It was some kind of fetish. He didn't care how I was getting rid of the fetus, he just...he liked it that he could impregnate me over and over again..."

Zatanna shuddered.

"What did you do?" Diana asked, and the Amazon reached over and grabbed the witch's hand and held it in both of hers.

"Ended the affair, to start with. At that point, by my math, I was pregnant with fourteen. God, I felt so stupid...and I couldn't birth them and I couldn't just abort them so I...there was a fertility clinic. Women had trouble getting pregnant, get artificial insemination, egg donors, surrogacy. It wasn't uncommon to have multiples, if things went well. People that wanted kids and could afford it. So I...I waited, watched. Every night for two weeks. I'd pick one and I'd say Ycnangrep refsnart. And at the end of it, I wasn't pregnant anymore."

The witch sniffed. "It hurts, you know? But I just...I hope I did the right thing."

Lois Lane reached over and grabbed Zatanna's other hand. Her heart felt like it was going to break...but in the back of her mind, she was thinking about their stories...and her own condition. Because they gave her terrible ideas...