"Pep Rally?"

Denise giggles that adorable little laugh you love so much and says, "Well I'd sure hope you didn't. Your band's playing the finale song at pep, and I'm kind of looking forward to being serenaded by 'Strawberry Soda' for throwing a ball through a hoop."

A feminine voice coming down the hall sing-songs, "Did somebody say 'Strawberry Soda'?" and you recognize the svelte, short-haired young woman walking up as Pearl, one of your best friends, and band mate.

"Hey, Pearl!" "Hey, Pearl!" You and your crush say, only slightly de-synced, in amiable greeting to the dapper, dark skinned girl clutching a violin case, but before she can reply, your friend Pearl's eyes focus someplace behind you, and her typically graceful expression sours. The pattering footsteps of a second young woman approaching turns the two of you around, and you intone, in a less than agreeable hello to the newcomer, "Hey, Pearl." While Denise, still chipper, repeats, "Hey, Pearl!"

The six foot tall, freckled, blonde basketball player you see holding two bottles of pop is wearing what looks like a cowgirl costume—Stetson hat and all—but was actually just what she considered street clothes. Another thing she's wearing is a sneer, directed at you. "Hey, Sam." but Pearl's countenance brightens up considerably as she looks to her teammate, and beams while handing your crush a drink, "So, I reckon I heard something 'bout a strawberry soda, Denise?"

"Yeah! About a month back, they got permission to play at today's Pep, and I'm super excited."

Pearl's face contorts in confusion at your gorgeous 6'7" crush's words, "What in tarnation- you mean that stupid garage band? I thought you were gettin' all worked up over a literal soda!"

After a couple second long pause, Pearl and Denise laugh with you at Pearl's misunderstanding, and Pearl starts getting red in the face from embarrassment-wait, hold up.

It probably bears mentioning that you know two people named Pearl; one is an Indian lesbian violinist you're in a rock band with, the other, a rambunctious White basketball player that doesn't like you… well, more like, obviously hates you.

Pearl—the gay one—says between stately chuckles, "It's funny because I named our band after a soft drink!"

You all continue laughing, and this rhinestone cowgirl, thinking that you're laughing at her, rather than just the misunderstanding, flushes a deeper shade of scarlet as she becomes more upset, until she reaches her breaking point, getting worked up enough that Pearl—the tall one—actually upturns her soda bottle and dumps the cold, carbonated, sticky red contents all over you, soaking your clothing down to the underwear, making you shiver and shout when you feel the chill reach your penis.

"Whoa, chill out Pearl!" Denise chides, "We didn't mean it like that!"

It feels gross, your clothes are ruined, and liquid sugar is covering nearly your entire body! Dress rehearsal was in less than an hour and–Wait?!