Voyages of the S.S. Futchia

(The intro and backstories are the only parts not in the first person)

[Captains log (haha log) Stardate... whenever]

These are the tales of the Starship Futchia and her crew. They have been together on more unfortunate adventures than most in the star sector. They have traveled across more space than many meteors and they have fucked/been fucked by more aliens races than many can count. They are simultaneously the best and worst the Milkyway has to offer the universe. They are the S.S Futchia.

These stories start when our young, plucky and vivacious Starship Captain Tirex stole a light purple party ship from her home planet and took to the stars. While there she threw many parties and made great use of her races partial selective hermaphroditism, which allows her to swap between female and male genitalia at will. This has no doubt brought her many great enemies and allies in her travels amongst the stars. The intense sexual nature of Captain Tirex leads to her having to flee the Andromeda galaxy for some time, angering off influential husbands she pissed off by secretly cuckolding them. This was secretly a saving grace since this lead Captain Tirex to the Milky Way galaxy and more importantly to earth.

Upon her arrival to the galaxy, Captain Tirex knew she would need to make money to try and continue her carefree lifestyle. To accomplish that she would also need a crew to help run the Futchia. They would have to be eager and highly sexual. Captain Tirex's own sexual nature and history of hiring prostitutes as temporary crew members caused her to "remodel" the whole ship. Many of the ships vital features were connected to a sexual device that either need to penetrate an orifice or be penetrated themselves to operate.

Tirex quickly surmised humans on the restricted low tech planet earth were perfect candidates by watching mating documentaries o the species. Earth was restricted by the pan-galactic treaty on spacefaring races interacting with low tech classified planets. Now you may ask how did our captain bypass this hindrance. Well, that's simple by ignoring it completely and just landing on earth anyway. Now some may call this gross negligence and utter incompetence but it was with this quick thinking Captain Tirex found her crew. Now with the help of two earthlings, she is ready to take on the universe.

-Staychia: S.S Futchia A.I

addendum: speech in the character intro's will be identified by a certain bracket for each crew member

(Captain C.Tirex In the house)

|First Mate Sarah Mitchel signing in|

{Better First Mate Cameron Towers reporting}