Lost bet with Barney.

Robin Sherbatsky looked at her hand and let her face betray a flicker of disappointment. Her lips tensed, just a little bit. She glanced at Barney and saw from his poorly-disguised grin that he'd taken it in.

"Raise," he said, pushing his chips into the middle of the table.

"Gee, I don't know."

"I'm going all the way on this. So if I win, you have to do the dare."

"Barney, that's never going to happen. It's a pipe dream. I'm not going to do the dare."

"Fine. Fold, then. I know you've got a hand full of crap."

Robin took another peek at her full house and sighed, pretending to be caught out. They were sitting around the table in Ted's apartment, drinking beer and passing time the best way they knew how. She looked at the pile of chips in front of Barney, mentally calculating how much money she was going to win. The pot had gotten pretty big. But the cash wasn't the real prize - it was the satisfaction of beating Barney, making him know he'd lost to a girl. He was walking straight into her trap, letting his horniness blind him to her bluff. He was going to feel so stupid in just a second.

"I'm all in," she said.

"So you'll do it, then. You lose, you're doing the dare."

"Sure."

"No chickening out."

"Robin Sherbatsky doesn't back down. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to lose."

"You know I'm a genius at poker, right?"

"Put up or shut up, Barney."

"Fine. We'll see who's laughing in a minute." He pushed his last chip forward. "Show me what you got."

"Read 'em and weep." She laid her cards down on the table and smirked across at Barney, who was looking utterly crushed. "Gee," he said. "That's a good hand. I can't believe it. I really wanted you to do the dare."

"In your dreams." Robin grinned. "I'll be taking all your money now. Unless you want to play again? Oh, you can't, you haven't got any more chips. Aww. Poor Barney."

"Poor Barney," agreed Barney. "All I have's these four aces. Pity they don't get me anything."

"Um," said Robin.

"Oh, wait. Hang on a second. This means I win, don't I?"

"Now, listen."

"And wasn't there something about a dare?"

"But, I..."

"A dare you swore you'd do on your mother's name? A promise you made on the sacred honour of your native land of Canada? That kind of dare?"

Robin's cheeks were turning a healthy shade of red. "You cheated."

"Nope."

"You didn't just... I..."

"Won fair and square, baby."

"What do you want? More money?"

"I think you know what I want."

"But Barney, I can't..."

"You have to."

"No!"

"You promised."

"Barney, I didn't think you were serious."

"I'm always serious where ladies are concerned. Especially," said Barney, waggling his eyebrows, "the naked kind of lady. Which is the kind you're about to be."

"I'll be arrested."

"Nah."

"Why not!"

"You just won't. It's New York City. They don't arrest girls like you. Now if I tried it, I'd be arrested."

"Wait," said Robin. "Damn it. You really mean it, don't you?"

"Yep."

"I'll never live it down."

"That's the idea."

"Please?"

"No."

"What if I just did it here? What if I," Robin shuddered at the thought, "got naked for you right here? Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Tempting, doll, but a bet's a bet. I'm going to have to insist."

"Come on!"

"Get up, honey. We're going outside."

Reluctantly, Robin stood up. Barney was ogling her up and down, gazing at her body with an utterly smug expression of triumph on her face. Her cheeks reddened. It wasn't even the thought of nudity that bothered her. Losing to a pervert like Barney, having to perform his stupid little dare and give him the thrill of victory, stung far worse. Though, of course, the nudity didn't help.

"I hate you," she said.

"I know you do, sugartits. Grab your trenchcoat. It's going to be a night to remember."

-

"Hi, guys," said Ted, sitting in the usual booth with Lily and Marshall huddled opposite. "Nice coat, Robin. I was just explaining to these guys how Frank Lloyd Wright was influenced by the works of Pablo... oh my god."

"Don't ask," said Robin sourly, as the trenchcoat slithered to the ground. Beside her, Barney was sporting the biggest grin in the world. "Anyone want a drink?"

"I... uh..."

"I'll have a drink," Lily said, chirpily. "Barney got you do to the dare, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So you'll be buying us rounds all night?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then I'll have the most expensive whiskey on the menu! Shots all round! Marshall, Ted, you boys want a shot?"

"Uh..."

"Mh..."

"Come on, guys. You'll have plenty of time to stare. She'll be doing this all night."

"Bl..."

"Fz..."

"Whiskey for me, Sherbatsky," Barney said, shuffling in beside Ted with an expression of absolute bliss on her face. "Come on. Get that pretty little ass in gear."

"Do you have to make those comments?"

"That was part of the dare, remember? You're my naked barmaid and I get to make sexist comments at you all night. You pay for all the drinks and at the end of the night, I get a blowjob."

"Nobody said anything about a blowjob!"

"Just yanking your chain, sweetheart. Shuffle along now. Barney's feeling thirsty."

Robin gritted her teeth as she strode up to the bar, stark naked, painfully aware that absolutely everyone in MacLaren's had their eyes glued to her bare body. She glanced at the clock and groaned internally. It was only seven. The bartender checked out her tits, grinned, and took the most expensive bottle of whiskey down from the top shelf.

"Hi, Robin," he said. "Lost a bet?"

"Yeah."

"Serves you right, I guess. Should've known better than to gamble with Barney."