Xander Harris

Staring out at nothing but a white void Xander Harris tried not to show fear. With the type of life he lived it shouldnt even surprise him that he went to bed in his own apartment and opened his eyes sometime later in a white void. Such was the life of guy who fought the supernatural.

Best to get a move on things Xander decided. Waiting around wasnt going to help anyone. Now what question should he ask first...

"This limbo? I don't remember croaking.... soooo.... How'd I die?" Xander asked the white void.

From the white void came a blue grey shape that eventually coalesced into a very Star Warsian ghostly image of his last true guy friend Jesse McNally.

"Jesse?" Xander gaped then clenched his eyes tight and bit back a curse, "Shit, guess I am dead."

Jesse grinned and snickered, "Nah, compadre, you ain't dead. And this ain't exactly the limbo you are thinking of. It is a waiting room of sorts as you are just waiting for the others to show up."

Slowly opening his eyes Xander looked at his dead friend. "Uh... right. Waiting for what?"

Jesse waggled his eyebrows and shot fibger guns at Xander. "Trust me, Dude, you are going to love this."

Xander managed not to groan, his oldest guy friend didnt have the best track record of getting him involved in shenanigans. "Oy.... Seriously? What is it this time?"

Jesse's blue grey image flickered and when it resolidified it was dressed as a discount John Hammond from Jurassic Park, as the John Williams theme music came to life and played, "Welcome to Harem Hotel!"

"The what hotel?" Xander asked nonplussed.

"The Harem Hotel!" Jesse said grandly and waved the Hammond misquito in amber cain around as a dark shadow began to form behind him. Eventually the dark shadow took shape into that of a modern day hotel/castle/spa that would have made a Disney Imagineer envious.

Xander blinked and then blinked again. "The Hotel part I get, that's a hotel... kinda... but the Harem part?"

"Just a second." Jesse spun to look left and then to look right. Xander looked the same directions and saw nothing but more empty white void.

"Jesse." He said with a warning tone, one he used to use when his buddy was pressing his luck.

"A minute more." Jesse said and turning to face Xander smiled back at him. "Trust me, Dude, you are going to love this. Someone upstairs must really love you because they are pulling out all the stops."

Xander sighed and rolled his eyes. His personal life was a shambles what with the wedding to Anya debacle, Buffy and Spike, Willow and her dark magic addiction... and the list went on and on. If someone upstairs really liked him why not fix some of that mess.

"And here come our contestants!" Jesse crowed as he waved the cane to his left.

"It's the Slayer! A trio of lovely ladies all of which you have a history with. Let's all welcome Buffy Summer, Kendra Young and last but not least Faith Lehane."

As each woman was anounced they suddenly appeared in the white void, standing perfectly still and seemingly slumbering all of the dressed like it was a normal day. Xander looked at all three but found he was staring at the very much not dead Kendra. A girl he had seen die before his very eyes four years ago. He was going to ask what was happening but Jesse seemed to be winding up for another announcement.

"Joining those vicious vampire hunting vixens: the other Summers. Buffy's totally foxy mother Joyce and her cute kid sister Dawn!" Jesse crowed.

Xander watched as Joyce and Dawn joined to group of women on his left. He again wanted to know what the hell was going on as the very much D-e-a-d Joyce seemed to be very much alive and like the other dressed like it was just any other day.

"And competing against those lovely ladies will be your Exes! That's right! Make room for Cordelia Chase, Willow Rosenberg and last but not least Anya Christina Emanuelle Jenkins!"

Xander watched as once again from out of the white void came Cordelia, Willow and Anya. Each one seemed to be in peak health and like the others sleeping peacefully while attired for a normal day.

"And to keep the teams even let's give your exes a halping hand by introducing the timid Tara Maclay and the winsome Winifred Berkle!" Jesse announced proudly.

Xander watched as Willow's girlfriend and someone he knew by reputation only showed up in the void. It was his opinion that Fred was pretty cute. Not at all what he had pictured when Willow talked about her fellow genuis.

Jesse cleared his throat to get Xander's attention. When he had Xander's eyes on him Jesse smiled wide and gestured to the Hotel behind him. "You and these two teams of lovelies will have full use of this hotel as you play the game. And be on the look out for special guests as you face the games challenges!"

With a resigned sigh Xander looked from his dead friends ghost to the hotel. "Ok. Since I cant do anything to stop this... I'll bite. What game?"

"Harem Hotel. Like i said previously." Jesse answeed flippantly.

"Right." Xander bobbed his head. "And that game is played how?"

Jesse smirked at him, "Rules will be anounced before each competition."

"Of course they will." Xander nodded his head. He looked around at all this and groaned, whoever was behind this had serious magical power. The type of person that didnt like to be challenged. "Non compliance is not an option, I'm guessing?"

"Non compliance will cause a penalty point to be issued." Jesse answered.

"And that does?" Xander asked.

"Penalties will be anounced after the rules of each competition." Jesse's response was short and to the point. "Incentive to play hard and all that."

"And the white void?" Xander asked.

"The environment will be altered to fit the challenges issued." Jesse answered quickly.

"Great." Xander bobbed his head. "Just what we needed... an all powerful mystrey being making us jump thru hoops."

Xander looked at Jesse's smiling face, "So now what, Bud?"