With my blazing vestments!

As the mighty beast tries to run me down, I hold out my aflame tunic and use it to fool the creature into tackling just to the side of me, redirecting the frenzied ursine away from the convoy. It attempts again to tackle headlong right into yours truly, the handsome cleric Ahab, but the 'fowl creature' instead gets a face full of holy fire as I wrap my blazing vestments around its head. The owlbear lets out a wounded cry whilst tearing off into the distance, I faintly hear it splash into a river, and silently thank my goddess the creature is alright.

I'm panting from exertion, having fought off a pack of wolves and an owlbear singlehanded, without casualties no less, feeling like I was the mightiest man in all the land, I soak up the praise of the many cacophonous cheers directed at me coming from all around the caravan.

Until that is, I see all the shield maidens and merchant women blowing me kisses and winking, Ming Zhao included.

I cast my vision cautiously downwards, only to find my trousers pooled around my boot cuffs and my small linen undershorts in plain view of the entire caravan! These were the worst undergarments I could have possibly been seen wearing; a gift from a licentious princess I helped save, they were the smallest and tightest linens I owned.

Blushing redder than an autumn sunset under the numerous fair maidens lecherous leers, with my beautiful employer eyeing me especially raptly, I struggle desperately to pull the fallen breeches up to hide my most private garments from their view, humiliated once again, I feel the warmth spread throughout my face.