The season's explanation

Several mouths opened as half of the contestants tried to respond, but no sound emerged and Lily continued without pause, “For those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept of Harem Hotel, the basic concept isn’t too complicated. Most seasons, we pick a Master—some poor schmuck who’s down on his luck, maybe his luck with women hasn’t been that great. Maybe his last girlfriend left him for one of his regular players a year or two ago and it cost him both his favorite gaming group and his only source of hands-on action.”

Kevin looked increasingly uncomfortable at the succubus’ explanation, and more than a few eyes wandered in his direction. Before he could shrink back too much, though, Lily got back on topic.

“Then we’d gather up a collection of women from throughout his life—his first kiss, that girl at the cafe he has a crush on, his ball-breaker of a boss, ex-wife, and so on, who are given the privilege of serving in the Master’s harem!”

Hwa gritted her teeth for a moment, then managed to snarl out, “Never! I will not submit to some- some human!”

For the first time in the couple of hours since he’d met her, Kevin got to see a look of genuine surprise cross Lily’s face. She recovered swiftly and raised her hand to make a sharp zipping motion, which cut off further speech from the kumiho, but the fact that the Korean woman had been able to speak at all was clearly unexpected.

The succubus didn’t allow that to throw her off her game for long, though, and soon the brilliant smile was back on Lily’s delectably plump lips as she stated, “For this season, we wanted to do something different. Something special. You see, when I was looking through all of our possible candidates to be this season’s Master, I came across Kevin here. Kevin meets most of the usual criteria—boring menial job, rocky love life, you get the idea—but his hobbies gave me the chance to do something fun.

“You see Kevin here is a big fan of roleplaying games—and I don’t just mean the kinky ones. Kevin has, since the age of eleven, run no fewer than one thousand three hundred and fifty two sessions of tabletop roleplaying games, for nearly fifty different groups of people. Friends, family, classmates and coworkers, all of them have sat down across the table from him and enjoyed the fruits of his hours of careful planning, preparation, and on a few occasions actual blood spilled in the name of his craft. And in all of that time, Kevin, how many games did you get to actually play in, as opposed to running?”

Kevin shook his head. “Hey, running them is playing in them–”

“How many, Kevin?”

“…none.”

Lily’s lower lip stuck out in an exaggerated pout. “Aww, that’s no fun! So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to give Kevin the adventures that he’s been missing throughout his life, and we’ve brought all of you–” She gestured broadly to indicate the assembled women, “–to help! No adventure is complete without an adventuring party, after all.”

“So you mean we aren’t going to sleep with him?”

Penny seemed almost surprised to discover that her attempt to speak was successful. Her question was followed by a susurrus as the others began to speak, only for Lily’s laugh to cut them off once more. “You’re welcome to do so—assuming both of you agree, of course—but we certainly aren’t going to **** you to! Once we get started, I don’t intend to make you do anything. Not unless you get eliminated, of course, but we’ll get to that later. No, you don’t have to sleep with your Dungeon Master a single time if you don’t want to.”

She waited a beat, then immediately added, “But you do want to. This is Harem Hotel: Dungeon Crawl edition, and the dungeon is a hazardous place. Every adventuring party should be forged from bonds stronger than steel, so to encourage you all to get closer to the Dungeon Master, your bonds with him will be represented by your hit point. Performing actions to deepen and strengthen your bond will be rewarded with additional HP to reflect that relationship. For example–”

Lily gestured with her right hand and a pillar of golden light suddenly illuminated both Penny and Tess.

Appeared in her underwear in front of the DM: +10 HP

First! (x2)

Appeared naked in front of the DM: +20 HP

First! (x2)

As shocked as he was, Kevin couldn’t keep himself from blurting out, “Wait, they don’t get HP from leveling? From the actual, you know, dungeon crawl?”

“Of course they will. We’re not monsters.” She looked down at her decidedly non-human body for a moment, then back up to Kevin, flapped her wings once, then shrugged. “As you progress through the dungeon, you’ll level up and unlock new class abilities and HP. If you do well in there and you should be able to overcome the challenges we set out for you on your own merit. Probably.”

“Um, excuse me?” Tess spoke up for the first time in a while as the light surrounding her slowly faded. “I’m not really familiar with the terms you’re using—what are the HP actually for?”

The smile on Lily’s face returned full ****. “That is an excellent question, Tess! Now, several of you already have some pretty impressive capabilities based on your individual heritages from back on Earth–”

She was cut off by Kevin’s shocked, “Wait, what!? They came like this? I thought that was you doing more of your–” He made a vague twirling gesture with his hands, “–magic stuff. You mean to say they were like this on Earth? With magic? There’s already magic on Earth?”

Lily raised a hand to cover her mouth. “Of course! Did we not tell you? When we were picking out your party we had to make sure that you got a party of people who were already used to having a little magic in their lives. What better way than to recruit from the many magical creatures who have been hiding themselves away on Earth for millennia?”

Kevin’s eyes continued to grow wide as he turned to take in the group surrounding him.

Lily nodded. “Now you’re getting the idea! You’ll get the chance to find out how the original creatures of myth and legend that inspired your adventures stack up against your versions.”

The hostess paused there for a moment, then corrected, “Well—our versions of your versions. Not that yours weren’t already fine, but I think you might find you end up liking our take better.”

The reaction to that was mixed. Hwa did her best to maintain her aloof demeanor, Hazel just smiled her sunny smile, and Elsie actually looked more excited than Kevin.

Tess opened her mouth to repeat her question, but Lily waved dismissively. “Now, to the lovely selkie’s point—the answer to that is simple: HP stands for Hit Points, and they’re the resource that protects you from elimination. You are of course welcome to use any and all abilities you possess to help the party—both the ones we gave you, and the ones you came with–”

As Lily spoke, the wall behind her lit up with a display of names with their corresponding HP bars beside them. “–but those won’t save you from elimination by themselves. Your HP are what keep you in the game, and when those drop to zero, you’re at risk of being eliminated. The dungeon is a dangerous place, but as long as you have any HP remaining when the party clears a level, you’ll escape with the rest of them, no matter what’s happening.”

“And if we lose them?” Penny was the one who spoke up next, concern clear on her face.

“Then the dangers of the dungeon become far more permanent.”

“You mean we’ll die?”

“It’s one possibility. Moving right along, in a few minutes, you’re going to be shown a selection of classes. For those of you who aren’t familiar with roleplaying games, you can think of a class as a profession or a title, with perks. It will either give you a whole suite of new abilities, enhance your existing ones, or both!”

Elsie piped up to add, “It’s, um—the information they put in our head, if you just think about it, it tells you how it works. More or less.”

Lily’s attention flicked to the brownie for just long enough to flash her a quick grin, then she picked back up, “Thank you, Elsie, I’m sure your party will find such contributions to be very helpful. Adventurers need more than their abilities, though. Your progress in the dungeon will earn you some fabulous rewards, in the form of gold and treasures. There’s a whole town out there to explore, filled with merchants, traders, blacksmiths, tailors—everything needed to support today’s modern adventurer, in fact—but they all need to be paid. That’s where gold comes in. Gold, or GP, can be used to purchase clothing, magic items, maybe even unlock some new spells or perks if you can find the right person to talk to.

“I’ll leave the details of the treasures as a surprise for now, but let’s just say that for once, I think Kevin is going to look forward to listening to the party talk about how to hand out the loot.”

The succubus suddenly brought her hands together in a clap which seemed to shake the walls of the castle. “But enough of that boring stuff. Let’s get to the fun bit and start to hand out some classes!”

Kevin immediately chimed in, “Okay, this is my strong suit—I’ve been creating overpowered characters in games like this for two decades now. If we sit down with the rules, I’m sure I can figure out a way for us to get through all of this without–”

“I’m going to have to stop you there, Kevin. I know the Dungeon Master normally has the final word on what characters he allows his players to bring to the table, but Harem Hotel is a show with an audience, and this is where we’re going to let them pitch in. I’ve prepared a selection of classes for each of your lovely ladies, as well as our Dungeon Master himself, and we’re going to let the audience decide which ones you get through a vote!”

“What, no–”

“It’s how we’ll handle all of the perk and class ability selections as well. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure the audience will make sure things stay interesting, right?”

Before Kevin could comment again, Lily announced, “So without further ado, let’s start with our class options for our very hasty harpy, Blue!”

Barbarian - Loud, brash, and direct, barbarians are tough and aggressive melee fighters who specialize in getting down and dirty. You’ll be able to take the fight to the enemy with relentless energy that means you don’t have to back down until you’re exhausted, covered in sweat, and ready to collapse. (Poor Impulse Control)

Monk - The monk’s path to success is through the enhancement of their body and discipline. By shaping their physical form into a living tool they enhance their capabilities, while by shaping their mind through discipline they ensure they can endure and overcome any challenge. (Enhanced Body)

Thief - Stealthy and quiet, a good thief provides value both in and out of the dungeon. Five finger discounts are a risky path to success, but sometimes merchants can be so unreasonable. A good thief also knows her way around a trap, and can help make sure the party isn’t caught off-guard by scouting ahead. (Thrillseeker)

[ https://strawpoll.com/e7ZJaLGdKg3 ]

The words appeared as columns of massive text that lit up the courtyard wall behind Lily. Despite the earlier confusion with language, there didn’t seem to be any difficulty reading them, as all heads craned back to examine the words.

A minute or two two later, Lily asked the harpy “Does one stand out from the others for you?”

Blue stared at the succubus, “Blue not thief.” Then she looked down at the shirt she wore and amended, “Not usually thief.”

“And the other two?”

The harpy shrugged. “Controlling impulses is boring. Discipline is boring.”

Lily didn’t linger on the response, but instead swiftly moved on to the next set of classes. “Hwa, you already have plenty of power of your own, so your class options are focused around helping you channel that into a form that will be useful to your Dungeon Master.”

Alchemist - Potions and brews are the stock and trade of the alchemist. Hurl explosive concoctions or enhance whatever attributes of whichever fellow party members you find lacking through the application of short-lived transformations that surely won’t have any lingering effects. (Magical Enhancements)

Warlock - Draw on the power of your patron to enhance and channel your magic into offensive blasts. Call forth temporary magical servants, or form long-lasting agreements with powerful entities to assist you as you wield magic more freely than anyone else. Just make sure to keep your patron happy if you expect the juice to flow, and be prepared for consequences if you can’t hold up your end of the deal. (Binding Bargains)

Witch - Why settle for one path to power when you could follow them all? Witches dabble in all the dark arts they can get their hands on, from potions to pacts, and curses to curios. Witches might not have as much flashy power as wizards and sorcerers, but putting the right thing in the right place at the right time can sometimes be the best approach for the job. (Dark Rewards)

[ https://strawpoll.com/PKgled3KEZp ]

“These are all less than I already am.” Hwa sounded decidedly displeased with her selection and did not wait to be called on before letting that fact be known.

Lily’s smile was utterly cold as she retorted, “The greatest strength comes from adversity. Is there one of these options that you like more than the others?”

Hwa was silent for long enough that Kevin thought she was going to leave the question unanswered, until she suddenly grunted out, “Witch. If I am to be restricted, I would rather have a full suite of abilities.”

“Don’t worry, even if the audience doesn’t agree with you, I’m sure you’ll get called something similar often enough.” Lily didn’t give the kumiho time to process the response—and Kevin wasn’t even sure how well the barely veiled insult was translated by the magic—before she turned to Stheno.

“For a creature with as storied a history as our fabulous snake-sister, you presented us with a conundrum. Like Hwa, your abilities are potent enough on their own. Your class selections are all about how you get to lean into them.”

Antipaladin - Paladins are paragons of virtue who have sworn to uphold whatever virtue their god, king, or whatever holds dear. Antipaladins aren’t. Instead, you’ve put up with the curses of the gods for so long that you’ve started to understand the power of of curses and how they can be bent to your own ends. Grab the power that has been turned against you and use it to your own ends rather than letting them push you around. You can be trusted with that power, right? (Curse Bearer)

Fighter - A fighter is always ready to throw her body into the action. Direct, forthright, and physical, she stands prepared to deal with whatever the dungeon can throw at her with but a moment’s notice. (Alert)

Samurai - Real samurai were mostly stuck up arrogant pricks who bought into a caste system that told them that they were the best. Most adaptations that came out recently emphasized their loyalty above everything else, though, and what’s what your class focuses on. When you set yourself on a path, we’ll make sure you have the resolve required to carry it out, no matter what is required. (Loyal Retainer)

[ https://strawpoll.com/61gD92m49Zw ]

For the first time since arriving, Stheno showed something akin to excitement. The gorgon rose a few feet on her tail until she stood a head and a half taller than Lily. Her eyes narrowed to slits, and through the thin veil that covered her face she even showed a trace of a smile.

Lily grinned up at her. “It looks like one of those has caught your interest.”

Stheno nodded once without looking towards the succubus host. “I like that one. Antipaladin. The gods–” She spat on the flagstones, which caused Elsie to yelp when it released a sizzle of smoke a short distance from her feet, “–can get fucked.”

“Fabulous! Next up, our alluring siren, Penny. Your first choice was a no-brainer, of course, but ever since you showed up you’ve been hammering home just how ready you are to step up on the behalf of others. That resolve will serve you well in all three of your options.”

Bard - Put on a show for them and they’ll keep coming back. Bards are the quintessential performers, and you’ll use the power of song and music to weave magic over friends and foes alike. You can captivate, charm, and enchant with your voice and the movement of your body as long as the ones you want to affect are able to see and hear you. (Performer)

Paladin - Always ready to step up and face down a threat, Paladins are the righteous defenders of the ideals that they hold. You can put yourself back together with healing magic, or bring down those who stand before you with a righteous blow, and you’ll often find yourself at the front line as a result. Your abilities mean that you’re better able to prevent the suffering of others, even if sometimes that means taking it on yourself—you can bear it, so they don’t have to. (Lay on Hands)

Mystic - Mystics wield magic. Plain and simple. You can channel the primordial forces of the cosmos through your body to miraculous effect, provided you’re prepared to pay the cost it exacts from you. Your magical abilities will be potent and varied, and don’t require the study of a wizard or the bargains of a warlock. Because mystics don’t have the training of other spellcasters, though, their magic is a little less refined or controlled, gaining power at the cost of precision. (Overcharge)

[ https://strawpoll.com/NoZrzD31NZ3 ]

Penny took her time reading through her classes, and when Lily looked at her, the siren shrugged. “I mean, a bard is a performer, right? It seems almost too obvious.”

Lily laughed, “There’s nothing wrong with sticking to what you’re good at. I don’t know, though, I think there might be more paladin in you than you think. We’ll find out soon enough if the audience agrees.”

By then, though, Lily was already moving on. “Now, our selkie might have made quite a splash with her dramatic entrance, but I wonder just how wet she’ll be before we’re done.” She attempted to sell the joke for a moment, then waved it off. “Can’t win ‘em all. Anyway, Tess, you’re already good at a lot of things, your classes will determine whether you specialize, or generalize.

Factotum - You’re already an athlete, a scholar, a loving family member, and have an active social life, but why stop there? Why not just be good at everything? Factotums gain the ability to specialize in whatever the situation calls for, no matter the circumstances. (Every Situation)

Psychic Warrior - Mind over matter is the creed of the psychic warrior. Through training and discipline you’ll gain the ability to reshape your body into whatever is called for by the situation. While you might not gain the fancy spells of a wizard or the martial mastery of a fighter, you instead blend both by channeling your energy to strengthen and change your body so you’re prepared to face the dungeon. (Flexible Shape)

Ranger - Rangers know that the best approach to any situation is rarely to go in alone. You’ll form a connection to a familiar spirit, and can then draw on it for strength, and summon it to your side to assist you. All bonds are two-way, though, so you’ll need to ensure your familiar is well taken care of if you expect to get the full use of of it. (Familiar Bond)

[ https://strawpoll.com/eNg6vD9bAgA ]

Tess’s brow furrowed as she finished reading the last option, though she didn’t speak until Lily prompted her, “Well? Have any thoughts?”

“These- these seem weird, honestly. Maybe the factotum. I like to be good at things. I mean, doesn’t everybody?”

Lily’s eyes swept across the rest of the cast before she commented, “You don’t think you’d want to enhance your ability to shapechange? A seal isn’t going to be useful in every room of the dungeon.”

“It sounds useful, but—weird. The familiar thing makes me worry. Those are little forest spirits and things right? I’m not very good with animals.”

“I’m sure that won’t be a problem.” The succubus spent a moment scanning the assembled group before finding Elsie, half hidden behind Hazel. As the letters on the wall above her shifted, she called out to the brownie, “Step on up, I won’t bite! Probably.”

The petite brunette hesitantly shuffled forward until she was at the front of the group and standing at Penny’s side. The siren reached a hand out to pat her shoulder reassuringly as Elsie read through her options.

Artificer - You have a knack for the mechanical, quick hands, and delicate fingers. With enough time, you can tinker up a tool to fit any situation, from noisemakers to extra limbs you can strap onto your body. Without your tools you aren’t much better off than your average peasant, but with time and preparation you can get yourself ready for anything. (Helpful Little Tool)

Diviner - Thanks to years spent gaming, you already have knowledge of how games like this go. Diviners are like that with everything. Your primary source of magic will be a spellbook you can study, but by honing your oracular powers you’ll be granted visions of possible upcoming events. These glimpses of the future can help make sure you avoid the darkest possible outcomes, though it does mean witnessing them before anyone else. (Portent)

Erudite - The power of the erudite comes from experience. By watching and experiencing other powers and abilities, erudites can gain an understanding of how they function. Your abilities will be weak, at first, but as you encounter more situations your repertoire of powers will grow until you have the perfect one for any ability. Just as in any endeavor, though, practice makes perfect—even you can’t master the arcane by watching a wizard cast a single spell. (Sensate)

[ https://strawpoll.com/7rnzVpmranO ]

“What are those words in parenthesis after each class description?”

Elsie didn’t wait for Lily’s question, but instead preempted it with one of her own. The succubus winked towards the camera and answered, “Those, little brownie, are the names of the level one class abilities. I wanted to give you a little sneak peek at how we’re going to equip you for the dungeon.”

She then looked back at the mousy brunette and asked, “Apart from your Dungeon Master, you’re the only one here with any real experience with roleplaying games—is there one that stands out?”

The brownie looked uncertain as she tried to think through the implications of the answer in regards to her options. “Um, diviners are usually incredibly useful to have, so probably that one, if I had to choose. If I can see something before it happens, I can help us avoid the worst outcomes.”

A faint blush lit up the English woman’s pale cheeks as she admitted, “I’ve actually played all three of these though, in one game or another, and my erudite was my favorite character of them. I worry that Artificer is a bit too much like my day job.”

Kevin’s lips curled into a small smile at the admission of his fellow gamer. He opened his mouth to comment on it, then saw the look of poorly disguised disdain Hwa was directing at him, as she realized some of the implications of the class she had recommended. Rather than looking like she was having second thoughts, though, she appeared to be pondering whether or not to hold him to blame.

Hazel had already begun to swing her way through the group even before she was called, “There’s only so many of us, it’s not hard to figure out who was next. What do you have for me?”

Lily waved a hand and the words above rippled into a new configuration.

Druid - Nature is more powerful than any of us, and no one knows that better than a druid. By eschewing civilization and sticking to the wild and primal, you can call on plants, animals, even weather to do your bidding. No need to cover up in heavy metal armor or tote around a big sword, nature will provide all the tools you need to handle whatever comes up. (Au Naturel)

Enchantress - You’ve always had an easy time getting people to do what you want, but some people need a little extra persuading. The enchantress weaves honeyed words to bring around the **** and the hostile to her way of thinking, showing them that the difficult path isn’t always the best one. (Convincing)

Sorcerer - Unlike a wizard, who gains their power through careful study, your relationship with magic is very different. Your body itself is flush with abundant magic. It fills you, flows through you, and ultimately spills over into a waiting and receptive world. (Bounteous Energy)

[ https://strawpoll.com/3RnYXLleWye ]

Hazel nodded along as she read, then spoke up, “I think I’d be fine with any of these. Everyone likes having more energy, but I’m probably the most natural thing in the dungeon, so maybe the first fits better? I’m already pretty good at getting my way. And energetic, when I want to be.”

Lily’s eyes bounced down to the massive breasts lifting the front of the nymph’s loose dress, then back up to her face, then back down again, then over to the camera.

“I look forward to seeing it! Now, we’ve obviously saved the best for last. Kevin, our very own Dungeon Master, we can’t well send you into the dungeon as you are. You deserve to participate in the fantasy, to wield your own magic and power and partake of adventure the same as your party. To help you along, you also are going to get a class, which will help you guide your party through trial and tribulation until you all come together as a unified party.”

“A harem, you mean.”

“If that’s how you all choose to interpret that. Whatever it takes to forge your party into a true team.”

“It’s in the name of the show. You said it a few times by now.”

“Focus, Kevin. You’re about to be given psychic powers. Or divine ones. Or, depending on how the audience votes, a more physical boost, since all three of your classes have different power sources.

“Got any thoughts on which one of those sounds interesting?”

“I mean—whatever will help everyone. But–” He looked almost guilty as he admitted, “I’ll admit I’ve thought that having psychic powers would be cool since I was a kid.” He glanced over to Hwa as soon as he finished speaking, expecting a scathing response from the kumiho, but the woman simply looked away. Kevin squared his shoulders and looked back at Lily, before reiterating, “That one.”

“Let’s take a look at all three of them.”

Favored Soul - As the Dungeon Master, you were the god above god, the divinity to the divinities, and your word was law. We can’t let you keep level of power in the dungeon, but we can give you a spark of your own inner divinity. Channel your power to turn things in your favor at a critical moment by bestowing blessings and curses on your allies and enemies as you take command of fate itself. (House Rule)

Psion - The mind of a psion is a fortress to begin with, and as time goes on your domain will only expand. As you grow more powerful you will learn to wield telekinetic **** to restrain or manipulate, read minds, and even slip thoughts into the heads of others. What better way to ensure the cohesion of your party than by connecting the minds of everyone on the most intimate level imaginable? (Link Senses)

Marshal - Barked orders might not be your style, but in the heat of battle, results matter. The marshal is a front line leader who gets stuck in the thick of things, and when you’re surrounded by vampires you don’t have time for reasoned debate—you need results. Your commands carry weight, and by observing the flow of events around you, you can issue the right order at the right time to make sure the party does whatever is needed to succeed. (Commanding Presence)

[ https://strawpoll.com/NPgxeVE1PZ2 ]

Kevin stared at the courtyard wall above Lily’s head as he read, and then re-read the options. Then he turned towards the succubus and asked wearily, “You really plan to push the sex thing, don’t you?”

She shrugged, pulling her elbows in to push her heavy breasts together and create a deep well of cleavage in the process. “You don’t have to sleep with anyone you don’t want to, Kevin.” Then she paused very briefly and added, “But between you and me,” She said, without making any attempt to lower her voice, “we both know that you already want to.”

He shook his head. “I—I don’t want to dignify that with a response. But since you put me on the spot, I do not intend to sleep with any of them. None of us asked to be here, and anything they do would be under duress. It’s—well, if not ****, at least sexual ****. We’re going to get through whatever sick and twisted version of my world you’ve put together until we beat whatever is at the end of the dungeon and we all get to go home.”

Kevin trailed off as he realized he didn’t actually have a plan for what would happen next. In his campaigns—those few that actually ran until the story was done—the characters usually got some kind of epilogue send-off. If they were lucky, they’d make a cameo appearance in another campaign later, but most of the time that was it.

“That sounds fantastic! I can’t wait to see it. In fact, I’ll give you a little tease of what you’re working towards. At the end of the dungeon, in the very final treasure chest, there a scroll.”

She gestured dramatically and a glowing translucent illusion appeared in front of her, spinning slowly. It was of a scroll case, shining gold, with black gemstones at either end. “This is a scroll of Wish. It’s the most powerful spell you can possibly gain access to, and there is a scroll that allows a reader to cast it a single time. You’ll only get it by reaching the end of the dungeon somehow, but once you do you can claim it and use it.”

“Wish—as in the spell that can do literally anything we ask for?”

“Every spell has its limits, Kevin, you know that. But yes, that’s the basic idea. To make things fair, though, you will personally be excluded from casting it. Only one of them can do it, and it has to be the one with the most HP remaining.”

“So we use it to send everyone home?” The question came from Elsie, who was standing beside Blue near the back of the group.

Lily’s smile turned predatory, “Of course. Though I do hope that your time as a party will provide you with some cohesion and unity, so perhaps by the time you get the scroll your desires will have changed.”

“Uh huh.”

Penny did not sound convinced, but Lily simply shrugged at the siren. “If you can get your hands on the scroll, you can use it however you like. I won’t—in fact, I can’t stop you. There’s an enchantment on the scroll case that provides absolute protection from external magic. As long as you’re holding it, I won’t be able to do anything to you. The only thing that can stop you from going home if you really want to is being eliminated.”

“What exactly does that mean? ‘Eliminated’?” Hwa had remained largely silent throughout the proceedings, but the kumiho’s voice cut across the courtyard as she stared down Lily.

“The dungeon won’t be fatal, no matter how frightening it may be at times. Some seasons of Harem Hotel might have had their cast get maimed and mutilated, but that’s hardly going to win over your Dungeon Master, so you don’t have to worry about losing life and limb. There are other kinds of permanent fates, though, and the one you earn might not be entirely to your liking.”

Lily paused briefly. “You’re going to want the party to succeed as a whole, and that’s going to mean working together.” She clapped once more, and again the entire courtyard seemed to reverberate with the sound.

“That’s probably enough for now. There are a few more items that we’ll cover after the audience has voted, but first, let’s find out what they have to say.”

“Won’t that take a while?” Tess spoke up this time, her brow furrowed. “My sister and boyfriend are probably still waiting on me.”

“No one is waiting on any of you.” The chilling statement was made with complete equanimity by the succubus. She did, however, allow the statement to linger for a moment before adding, with that same brilliant smile on her face, “We’ve taken care of all of that for you. No one is looking for you, no one is waiting on you. No one will report you missing. The only thing you need to worry about is the success of your party in your adventures. Until your adventures are done, they’re the only thing that should matter to you.”

“And if I do not wish to engage this—man-child of a human in his childish power fantasy?”

Hwa’s frosty tone was met with cool disregard from the succubus. “Rebellion didn’t go so great for you last time, little fox. Do you want me to give you another demonstration so soon?”

“I am going to kill you and devour your liver.”

“Good luck with that! Now, as I was saying, we’ve taken care of any concerns back home. Your pets will be fed, your family won’t notice you’re gone, you won’t even get fired from your job. All of it is handled, so that you can focus on the dungeon. Understood?”

She didn’t wait for an answer before proceeding, “Now, you’ll have your class results soon enough. It will take about an hour from your perspective. We’ll meet back up here so I can grant you your class equipment and abilities, then I’ll set you loose to explore the town. Feel free to look around until then, but be sure you’re on time—it’s rude to keep your party waiting.”

The succubus gestured towards the castle. “Feel free to look around, but don’t wander too far. There will be plenty of time for exploration later, as your dungeon dives will be a week apart. The days in between you can spend however you like. For the most part. One or more of you each day will be assigned a quest. It’s completion will be rewarded with some bonus HP.”

“But—what happens if we fail?” Elsie’s tone was quiet as the words slipped out of her, betraying their unintentional nature. “That slipped out. Sorry.”

“If you fail, naturally, you’ll lose some HP. However, if that happens, I will also offer you a choice. You may restore your lost HP by accepting a bargain. I’ll offer you a boon to help you be of greater value to the party in the future. The worse the loss of HP, the greater the power of the boon.”

“If we fail, you offer us more power?” Elsie sounded dubious at the prospect.

“Of course, my dear. I’m here to help you!” The succubus walked through the crowd until she could lean down and caress the brownie’s cheek with her thumb. “I want you to succeed more than anything else. You might not have run as many games as Kevin, but you have to be familiar with the concept of failing forward. If you fail the party, I’ll offer to give you what you need to succeed next time. It’s that easy.”

The slender brunette trembled slightly under the much taller succubus’ touch, but nodded. “Oh. OH. I understand. I think. How the game is going to work.”

The smile Lily directed at Elsie would not have looked out of place on a cat assessing a mouse. “You’re a clever girl. You’ll figure out how to do well, I’m sure.”

“And who will be judging our success, exactly?” Hwa sounded skeptical, but again Lily met the kumiho’s acid tone with a smile.

“Why, the audience. They’ll be watching you throughout the week. After each dive into the dungeon, and they’ll vote on your performance, both in the dungeon and out of it. The ones who are judged to have contributed the most will gain bonus HP, while the ones who are judged to not be contributing to the party will lose HP. As long as you’re above negative HP, you’re safe from elimination—no matter what happens to you in the dungeon.”

Lily paused for a moment as the implications of her explanation settled in, then added, “Before you get too worried, though, remember that I’m here to help you succeed. The party members who are contributing the least will be offered more powerful class abilities to help them catch up. “

“More powerful?” The question came from Elsie, whose expression was neither as bright nor as hopeful as the question might have implied.

“Since your success is being judged by the audience, they’re the ones that you need to impress. I’ll offer a selection of abilities that are appropriate for your class, and the audience will vote on which one you unlock.”

Elsie groaned. “We don’t get to pick our own abilities?”

Lily offered her a conciliatory smile, “Only the ones you’re granted at level up, little brownie. Additional abilities can also be purchased with GP, if you feel that the ones the audience chooses aren’t enough and you can find the appropriate trainer. I want to offer you every opportunity for success.”

She then whirled back towards the wall of the courtyard. “Now, remember, everybody—or I suppose some of you are hearing it for the first time, because some people couldn’t relax and let me get on with the introductions—you can pull up your character sheets by touching your wrists. There’s a counter on them which will show you your starting GP. Adventurers such as yourselves are highly regarded and will have access to most basic services for free. Go ahead and use the next hour to grab a quick bite to eat or explore, I’ll expect you to be back in an hour so I can hand out your class assignments.”

Lily then spun and swayed off into the castle with an exaggerated swing of her hips as she called out, “Don’t be late!”

* * *

“I notice she did not say what would happen if we were to simply kill the man.” Hwa’s voice was not the loudest of those who tried to speak as soon as Lily walked away, but it was the one that caught everyone’s attention as the kumiho regarded Kevin from across the room.

“I’m not letting you kill someone who isn’t here of his own will.” Penny was back to looking tired, but she prepared herself to square off against the fox if it looked like it might come to that.

It didn’t, as Hwa thought back to the **** that had overridden her will when she’d attempted to resist her introduction. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at Kevin and informed him, “You will assist us in our resistance. I will expect a full accounting of your behavior. Am I understood?”

Kevin found himself looking into the eyes of the kumiho again, but this time it was as though the flash of red he’d seen earlier had taken over. The color was mesmerizing and he felt himself suddenly leaning forward—until Penny stepped between the two. “None of that now. We have to give him the chance to prove himself. I’m not saying we have to trust him, exactly, but you can’t just—mind fuck him into submission, or whatever.”

Hwa did not deign to respond to the statement, but instead strode off through one of the castle doors, having picked it at random.

“Thank you.”

Kevin directed the comment at Penny, who simply nodded once. “Don’t mention it. I’m gonna go see if I can find somewhere to get a drink. Anyone who wants to is welcome to join me.”

* * *

Elsie, Kevin, Tess, and Penny walked into the tavern together. The first two looked spellbound by the medley of fantasy creatures that already inhabited the location. From elves to lizard-men to a few creatures that looked even more alien there were dozens of people wandering about, talking to each other, drinking, and in one case singing at the top of their lungs.

Penny’s eyes didn’t stop moving until she spotted an open table and lead the way towards it, at which point a short-skirted barmaid stepped up at prompt attention and inquired, “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“I’m not actually sure if I have any money, let me check.” The siren began to pull up her character sheet, only for the barmaid to quickly interject, “Oh, Adventurers don’t pay for food and drink here. You’re heroes! It’s only shops that sell magical tools and equipment that will require GP from you!”

“Convenient. A round of something stiff, for the table, please.” She then claimed a seat as the others spread out around the table. The drinks appeared no more than a few moments later and the siren lifted a small glass filled with amber-colored liquid and proclaimed, “This is fucked up.”

She then downed it in a shot. The others lifted to the toast, then tossed their own drinks back.

It left Elsie and Kevin coughing a moment later, while Tess laughed at their reaction to the burn of the ****.

“This is fucked up.” Kevin coughed out as he thumped his chest.

“So spill, sister, what was it you figured out, out there.” Penny patted Elsie on the back as the smaller woman coughed. “Obviously you figured out some part of Lily’s plans. What was it.”

The brunette glanced over at Kevin for a moment, then looked between Tess and Penny. “I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it? Everything is designed to push us together with Kevin. We get bonus HP for things like being in our underwear in front of him, and more for being naked. There’s bonuses for doing it first. We can try to get through the dungeon without it, but our success is judged by the audience. We can do fine and still lose HP if we don’t make them happy.”

Kevin nodded slowly. “The way Lily described the rules, it’s all set you up so that you aren’t **** into anything, but the worse things get, the more sleeping with me sounds like the better option. It’s the only way to gain HP that you have direct control over, since you don’t pick the quests you’re assigned throughout the week and we have no idea what’s going to happen in the dungeon ahead of time.”

All three women looked at the only human male in the room, who covered his face with his hands as he groaned. “I’m—it’s alright. I didn’t ask for this, but neither did any of you. If they based the dungeon and this town on my adventures, I can find a way through for all of you without—that. All of my adventurer were set up so that there were multiple paths to success—a simple one, a clever one, and the hard way. No matter what it looks like, if they stuck to the spirit of the games I ran there will be more than one option. I never really went for TPKs if I could avoid it, though, so hopefully that’s off the table.”

“TPK?”

“Total Party Kill.” It was Elsie who provided the answer to Penny’s question, her expression sour. “The worst possible outcome where the entire party loses.”

The other two women stared at Elsie for a moment, then looked back to Kevin. Then Penny raised her hand to flag down the barmaid again. “Another round!”

* * *

Stheno wove her way through the town. People walked the street in both directions, and she rarely received more than a glance as she bumped one of them.

It was incredible. It was as if they didn’t see her. As if she was simply one of the crowd.

Among them.

* * *

Blue darted her way through the market at a dead sprint. The meat she held was still steaming hot, but by juggling it from foot to foot she was able to keep from burning herself. Shouts raised up behind her as she made her way to the roof of the building to eat her prize.

She wondered what he meant by ‘it’s free.’ She didn’t feel free, exactly, but it was closer than when she was in the courtyard. A little bit.

* * *

Hwa began to carefully explore the castle. It would not do to be caught off-guard, but neither could she afford to dally. The longer she lingered here without discovering a means of escape, the greater the danger would grow. If the hosts ‘bargains’ robbed her of her ability to wield her own power effectively, she could be trapped here until the end.

Yet neither could she afford to be discovered attempting to escape. They would sabotage her efforts. Yet their hosts’ power was not absolute. She had resisted.

There would be an opening.

* * *

Hazel leaned back against the tree behind her. The sun was out, but it was late enough in the afternoon that she could have something solid behind her and still bask in its rays.

Her eyes closed, and she waited.

* * *

[Author’s Note: I will leave the polls open for one week, then return to reveal the outcomes of the audience’s selections. I’ll then reveal the results of those selections and the events of the first week at which point I’ll open the polls to judge how well the party members did in their first week as well as the contribution/best girl poll. They’ll dive into the dungeon while those are open, and receive their results when they come out—except for anyone who gets eliminated, of course.

Then the cycle starts over—I’ll start the next in-universe week with the 2nd round of class ability votes and end it with the contribution poll, etc. The party will not go into the dungeon with knowledge of whether or not they’re safe, and they won’t get to find out how their performance in the dungeon was evaluated until they’re coming out of their next dive.

I’ll be giving more detailed descriptions for future abilities, since votes will be choosing those directly rather than voting on a class, but for the 1st vote the full ability descriptions will not be revealed until after the polls are closed.]