The Quest

The Baron takes a seat at the corner table. Reluctantly the Tigerborn approaches, wary of the other adventurers gathered to this meeting. She stands a moment, Jessub just to her right and behind, then steps over the back of the closest chair and takes a seat.

“You too Miss Melisande.” The baron calls to the purple haired elf woman and beckons her forth.

The figure gives him a small bow and slips her hood back over her hair to her shoulders. A gasp is heard from another patron as the woman's fey beauty is revealed. She was an elf alright, but her pixieish features were winsome even by her fair race's standards. With the grace of a dancer she glides across the room and takes the seat between Tatyana and Winnie.

She nods to the others. “Aerwyna Melisande. I am singer of song and a teller of tale. A pleasure.”

Tatyana eyes the woman suspiciously while the others give her a warm greeting. The old man goes to begin the meeting when Aerwyna raises her hand.

“I believe there are prying ears close by.” All eyes fall on the bard with curiosity. With a smile she looks to the empty chair beside Dickie. As if on cue a quiet slurp...slurp...slurp... sound can just be heard from under the table.

***

Everyone at the table falls quiet as they stare at you. A huge ear to ear grin spreads across Chloe's face. "My flirting worked!?"

You nod. "You made the roll. The barmaid couldn't resist your charms."

"I love this game!" Chloe peeps.

You shoot your cousin a wink. You knew to keep Chloe's, and to a lesser extent your mother's, engagement in the game you'd have to make this campaign x-rated. If it meant happy and engrossed players you were more than willing to do so.

***

The halfling's already wide smile widens further. “Don't worry...she's almost done...mmmm...nnnghhh...yeahhhhh...” Only then to the others notice the slight flush to his face.

Winnie giggles as Tatyana covers her face with her hand, the dark retractable claws where her fingernails would be if she was a human unsheathe slightly then slip back again.

Dickie bares his top teeth as he bites down on his bottom lip as his cherubic face contorts with pleasure. “Nnnnnngh...almost there...almost there...doin great baby...nnnnghhhhh....” Slurp, slurp, slurp, the sounds pick up. “GUNHHHHHHHH!!! Fuuuuuck there it is! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Yeah baby, fuckin YEAH! GNGHHHHH!” He bucks suddenly and a loud THUNK hits the wood from underneath and the whole table rattles.

“MMPH!” The barmaid grunts at the impact of her head to the bottom of the table.

“FUUUUCK!” Dickie cries triumphantly as he busts his nut.

“Look at him go!” Winnie chortles and hops in her chair, her huge tits bouncing to the motion. Tatyana looked ready to leap over the table and tear the small man limb from limb, Aerwyna just shakes her head with a smile and waits, while the Baron sat there totally confused as to what was happening.

“Whooooeeeee! That's some good head.” He lets out a happy huff. He looks to the others with rosy cheeks. “Anyone else want a turn?”

“OOOOO!” Winnie vibrates excitedly.

The massive Tigerborn brings her fist down onto the table with a loud slam that calls the attention of the entire tavern their direction. “We are here to do business with the Baron. At least I am. You two can leave if you...”

The Baron holds out his hand. “Hold on, hold on. Everyone settle down.”

The barmaid reemerges in her seat and leans in to give Dickie a kiss to his cheek. Dickie reaches over and gives her tit a squeeze through her shirt. “Ya done good kid. I'll add what I owe ya to our tip when we leave.”

She pinches his chin, stands up and straightens her dress, then casual as can be asks. “Can I get you folks anything?”

Tatyana growls the deep growl of a Northern tiger and focuses her round angry yellow eyes on the annoying human. Her claws extend and dig into the wooden table. The barmaid's face drops in terror and after a stammering excuse hurries back toward the bar.

Reaching down under the table the halfling readjusts himself and fastens his belt buckle. “So, what's the job Baron? Monsters slain? Stuff to steal? Whores to fuck? I can do it all. Slayin Orc or slayin PUSSAYYYYY, I'm a one man party.”

“You're cute!” Winnie blurts loudly.

“You're a pretty cute heifer yourself. Nice rack!” He motions toward his crotch. “Wanna take a turn?”

“OOOOO!” Winnie covers her face bashfully. “Ha ha ha ha!"

Tatyana stares at the two for a moment then states. “I'm leaving.”

“Wait, hold on there your majesty. Just hear me out first. You've all come a long way, the least you can do is hear me out.”

“Fine.” She settles back in her chair in a huff.

The attention of the adventurers turn to the Baron.

He looks around at them each with a kindly smile. “I look around me and I see a group of heroes. Each of you have done me a service at some point over the last few years.” His eyes drift to Dickie and Aerwyna. “Some of you many times.”

“I'm your man.” Dickie winks as he pats his spiked codpiece, which was now unstrapped and hanging off his left hip. “Hero extraordinaire.”

The Baron nods. “Yes. That you are Dickie. Anyway, I've brought you together today because I have need of professionals of your type but the job is, I believe, too large for any one of you to handle.”

“Pffft.” Tatyana scoffs. “These three will only slow me down.”

The old man presses on. “Now, you might be surprised to learn this, but the Baroness and I are...erm...what you might call collectors. Collectors of rare and exotic artifacts of a particular bent.”

“Ohh, like knick knacks? That's nice.” Winnie says. “My Aunt collected Elf skulls. Had them all over her cave.” She then looks at Aerwyna apologetically. “She was a full orc, they do things like that. I never approved but it did give the place a certain décor.”

The elf just shakes her head. “Go on Baron Grayhunter. What is it you collect?”

“Sex toys.” Dickie says with a grin.

***

You give Chloe a thumbs up. She had read your mind. Elsie rolls her eyes but she was all smiles. Your mother sat there munching away at the snacks and generally having a great time hanging out.

Fiona raises an eyebrow. "They have sex toys in this game? I thought it was all wands and magic hats and all that lame Harry Potter shit."

"This game has sex toys." You state. "The game has whatever I want in it."

"Huh."

***

“Ahem!” The old man blushes. “Not so loud.”

Dickie nods. “I've helped him acquire a few. Kinky old devil.”

“Hrm, hrm, hrm.” The Baron harrumphs. “Yes, yes, quite so. So, returning to the task at hand. The Baroness and I are getting on now and there is set we simply must have before...erm...well...”

“Before you die?” Winnie asks.

“Before they're too old to enjoy them.” Aerwyna answers for him.

“Hrm. Quite so, quite so. Time is a cruel mistress. The spirit remains willing but...” His voice fades off. “Anyway. There is a set of these artifacts that we collect...”

“Sex toys.”

“...that are the most sought after in all the world. The Coitarius Assortment.” He waits to see if anyone showed signs of knowledge about it then continues on as he sees they did not. “Centuries ago the great Emporer Coitarius had these items crafted. They were built by greatest artists, craftsmen, and enchanters of the time. No expense was spared. Emporer Coitarius was a man of **** appetites, tales of his debauches are legendary even to this day among certain circles. The day his empire fell to the Swarm of Rask the items were pillaged by monstrous soldiery and taken back to their various dens. Goblins, Orcs, Ogres and worse were among that fearsome army. The artifacts have since spread out through the wide world.”

“How do you know they've even survived?” Aerwyna asks.

“Magical artifacts crafted as these were are not easily damaged.”

The elf nods. “If there are collectors, why are these only now being sought after?”

“Knowledge of the items has only reemerged in these last forty years. Some believe the items are just stories, smutty tales from an immoral time and place. Also, the fear of scandal has held back other collectors from doing what was necessary to attain these items and, while I would rather this mission stay between us at this table, I am running out of time. The time is now, our reputation be damned. I have brought you four together because I knew you were each skilled at what you do and each discreet. The cause may not be noble but you will be doing an elderly couple a great kindness.

“Well I think it is sweet. You and your wife have a shared hobby. That's just wonderful.” Winnie pats his arm with her wide plump hand.

He reaches into his thick jacket and pulls a small leather journal out and sets it in front of him. “Here I have all the information that we have been able to acquire on the Assortment and their locations. Some of it is at best second hand rumor, but it is all we have.” He pushes the journal toward lavender haired beauty across from him. She takes it but does not open it yet. “My offer is this. Bring me The Cotarious Assortment, or at least as many as you can find. I will give each of you one thousand gold pieces for each item retrieved and an extra five thousand for the entire set.”

Dead silence descends around the table.

Dickie was the first to speak. “Did you say THOUSAND? A thousand each!? For each item!?”

The Baron nods. “My gold brings me and my wife no happiness sitting in our vault. These will bring us more joy than all the wealth in the world.”

“I'm in.” Dickie says. “The stuff I could do with that kind of money...oh baby!”

Winnie nod, her bouncy curled hair bouncing. “Me too, I'll do it. I think it is wonderful a couple your age still getting frisky.”

Aerwyna traces a slender finger around the edges of the plain leather journal. “Hmmm... Exploring the nooks and crannies of the world, venturing into ruins and monster dens, attaining artifacts of a lost and forgotten empire, and we are sure to uncover knowledge and mysteries along the way.” She smiles. “You know I cannot say no to this Baron.”

The Baron smiles back. “Thank you.” He then turns his head to the Northern Tigerborn Queen. Money and exploration would not have the same attraction to her and he honestly wasn't sure what she would say.

She stares him down. “I wish double the money you offered them.”

“What!?” Dickie sits up in his seat. “You can't do that!”

The side of her mouth curls into a half smile. “Settle down...Dickie boy. Only a fool takes the first offer they are presented, and I am no fool.” Her thick Northern accent dripped with dry amusement at getting the better of the Halfling. “Besides, to consort with the likes of you lot I will require extra incentive. You already grate on my nerves. All of you.”

The others murmur awkwardly at the blunt insult, each of them half hoping the Tigerborn would refuse despite the fact her martial power would surely be needed.

The Baron was prepared with a counteroffer. “I will not give you double but I can sweeten the deal. Do this for me your majesty and I will do what I can about arranging a meeting between you and my King.”

***

You weren't sure how Fiona would react. This was a curve ball you had thrown her. Her sparse backstory hadn't mentioned anything about wanting to meet the human King but you hoped she would work with your improve. Thus far, despite a few scoffs and eye rolls, she had played her character far better than you had been expecting. She had even given Tatyana a noble Russian accent which was far more immersion than you ever expected from her. You wanted to encourage her to keep it up.

Your sister does not disappoint.

***

Tatyana's half smile fades. “You cannot.”

“I have the the contacts and the influence from over 50 years of being the Baron of this resource rich area. I have more pull than you give me credit for. I can guarantee nothing, but I can do my best.” He then looks to her ****. “Besides, young Jessub there is of that ancient empire's blood. It would be good to let him see that his people were not always in shackles.”

Tatyana snorts. “Jessub only cares for my needs, he has no other interests. Tell him ****.”

Jessub bows. “I live to serve.”

***

Fiona's hazel eyes twinkle with a strange intensity and you see the hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth as you say Jessub's words in character. For Jessub you have given him a soft voice with a vaguely Mediterranean accent.

***

The regal Tigerborn Queen then nods. “You have a deal old man. We get you this set and you get me a private audience.”

“I will try.”

“You will DO!” Tatyana fixes him with a hard glare.

The Baron hesitates then nods with a sigh. “I will get you your audience even if I have to call in every favor I have.”

Queen Tatyana nods a single brisk nod. “You your mate will have your artifacts.”

A strange sort of energy sets in as the four strangers look at each other once more, this time more closely and cautiously. Each taking the measure of the other three. They would be spending a lot of time together in the travels ahead. They would have to work together and rely on each other. None of them how it would go but they were committed to it now.

“Ha ha! There we have it!” Dickie exclaims to break the silence. “We've got a mission and we've got a group. We're a proper adventuring party now.” He raises his mug. “Whose up for an orgy?”