Shade

Well, there you go again. Some hero walked through you, or maybe it was another monster. You never know for sure, mainly you stopped giving a fuck after the 666th time or somewhere around that. As far as you can tell nobody really bothers much with you except the little low-ranking player occasionally who comes into this abandoned ruin which you call your home to fight you for yours and your kinds utterly useless, but on the other hand quite shiny drop. It is a small pearl, which looks like it is worth more than it is and is often used by older players to trick younger or newer hero’s into hourlong searches for you and the other shades, thing is you have to be killed with a special short sword at the end of the dungeon. The problem with that is the same you yourself have. Walking through you instantly kills you. Light instantly kills you. Fire instantly kills you. Everything kills you as far as you are concerned. The only thing that doesn’t instantly kill you is shadow-magic, of which as far as you know you and your kin are the only ones who can use it or are a part of "monsters" in that group. While you slowly fade back into existence you ponder the point of you being here. You are just another part of the aesthetics of this place. You open your stat sheet and look at what fucked up existence backs up your pathetic being:

###CHARACTER-SHEET###

Name: Shade (not even a lesser like you see with some of the skeletons and proper ghosts around the ruin - you are so useless)

Race: Shadow-Shade (the guy creating you must have had a proper laugh at fucking you up thoroughly)

Class: Shade (and he was as creative as the brick wall near which you are currently floating)

Level: 0 (well at least something that makes sense)

###VITAL STATISTICS (why would someone even create something like this for you?)

STR: 0 (no way - it’s not like you are a being that has no freekin solid form)

DEX: 0 (again what is the point in this existing for you anyway)

CON: 0 (some god somewhere royally fucked up you sure of it)

APP: 0 (was there even a slight doubt that there would be another number)

CHA: 10 (this one always gets you, why the fuck do you have 10 random charisma)

WIS: 50 (Well, and there’s the culprit, far too smart for your own good)

INT: 5 (Another shocker a number higher than 0)

###DERIVED STATISTICS###

HP: 2 (you never stop wondering why you even have a number here)

MP: 100 (And what the actual god-fucking-fuck are you going to do with zero spells?)

MV: 1 (floaty floaty does the ghosty - not that you are a ghost because then you would be able to actually kill something)

SS: 1 (shouldn't this work with your charisma - you really hate the guy who created you)

LR: 50 (you character-sheet makes zero sense at all, at least to you, but oh do you know the stories about the lords of this here castle, oh wait...)

AG: 1 (well fuck arse to whoever decided a shade would be a nice addition to this ruin)

PC: 10 (at least something, you can see very well what is going to kill you - fuck your life or something like that)

###Race Abilities### (oh that’s a good one, you always get a laugh out of these)

Shadow: Harmed by magical Attacks, healed by shadow-magic (again is there even another shadow-being out there?)

***Hidden-Passive***: Shadow-Corruption: Harmed by physical Attacks, when in group with player-character corrupts player-character giving the "Shadow-corruption-buff" {also counts for pets}

(okay that one gets you, first of all why is it hidden, second of all why does everyone know the first part and not the second, also you have no idea what the Shadow-corruption-buff is, could someone finally tell you what you actually are)

###Class Abilities###

Shade: Double damage from holy attacks, double damage from holy weapons, heals through corruption magic, heals from corrupted weapons (again something you can make no sense of what so ever, someone really screwed up this stat-sheet)

You sigh and close your character-sheet. No chance in hell you going to be able to do something with this. With a sad look on your face, if you had a face that is, you float back to your favorite place. A place in the main entry hall where the mindless skeletons don't walk around too much and won't kill you by accident but from where you can see them getting killed without major obstruction. A crackling sound announces the arrival of a new hero. With a defeated sigh, well let the most useless monster in the whole world try to kill some hero. You turn towards the door of the castle and see...

__