Scully takes evasive action

As Rosario took a step forward, Scully took a step back.

She paced down the row of washing machines, trying to keep them between her and the sheriff. As Rosario rounded one end of the aisle, she reached the other end. She stepped hastily around the corner, just a split second before the sheriff's roving eyes took her in, and offered her most innocent-looking smile.

"Anyway," she said, trying to change the subject and recover her composure, "you said you had some strange events in town lately, sheriff. What might those be, exactly?"

"Peculiar happenings," the sheriff said, frowing at the washing machine. "Of the curious variety. Which of these machines did you say was yours, again?"

"The one with all the pants in it," said Scully, immediately. "But it's stuck. You think you could help me get it open?"

"These pants?"

"Yep."

"Strange. They look just like Angela Brown's pants. She teaches English down at the high school."

"That's a coincidence," said Scully.

"In fact, I'd say these are definitely Angela Brown's pants. No two ways about it."

"Did I say that one? I meant the one next to it."

"There's nothing in the one next to it. Every machine round here is empty."

"Right," said Scully. "How could I forget? I haven't actually started doing my washing yet."

"Then why'd you say you did?"

"I... got confused," said Scully, disliking how silly it make her sound, but disliking the prospect of being arrested as a panty-stealing pervert even more. "How forgetful of me. I'll start doing it now, then."

"Right," said the sheriff.

"Any second now."

"You don't have any washing with you."

"No," said Scully, thinking on her feet. "I just have to wash my jacket. I spilt wine on it earlier."

"So you have to put the entire jacket through the washing machine?"

"It's my only jacket. I need it for an important business meeting."

"Okay," said the sheriff, sounding unsympathetic. "Wash your jacket."

"Yes," said Scully, who could see no way out of it. "I will."

She crouched before the closest washing machine, slowly unbuttoning her jacket. As the door locked shut and the machine whirred into action, filling with soapy water, it occurred to Scully that she could probably have wrapped the jacket around her hips and used it as a makeshift skirt.

She really, really wished she'd thought of that earlier.

She gave the door of the washing machine a tug, It wouldn't budge. She looked mournfully through the glass at the jacket, now trapped inside, right before her eyes and a thousand miles away.

Oh, well. At least she still had her...

...blouse?

She looked down at herself. She was wearing smart black pumps, a bra made from peach-coloured silk and high-cut, lace-trimmed panties of the same fabric. What she was not wearing was a blouse.

She left out a soft little whimper, quiet as a mouse. All she could think was that she was going to get in so much trouble.

"You all right back there?" said the sheriff.

Scully lowered herself to her hands and knees. As long as she stayed low, she'd be invisible. She could hear the sheriff's footsteps, coming back around to her side of the row of washing machines. Hastily, she scrambled in the other direction.

"I'm fine," she panted. "Just... dropped a penny!"

Clad in nothing but shoes, bra and panties, scuffling along on all fours, she made it to the end of the row a moment ahead of the sheriff, who came round the other side just in time to see her feet disappearing from view. "It's... rolling away! Sorry!"

"You get your jacket washed all right!"

"Yep! No trouble!" Scully's head poked up from the other side of the row, her cheeks flushed, her hair tousled, a little out of breath. "The penny went under a machine, I think. I'll be fine. Don't wait up for me."

"These machines can be temperamental," said Rosario, holding Angela's pants in a bundle under one arm. "Sometimes they start without even a coin, sometimes they won't start at all. Managed to get this one open, see? Going to take the pants back to her, since she's a friend of mine."

"Maybe you should leave them here," said Scully. "What if she comes along and finds them missing?"

"What if someone steals them?" said Rosario, picking the lingerie up off the floor and adding to the bundle. "Can't be too careful these days. No, I think it's best to take every single scrap of clothing in this building with me as I go."

"That's a smart move," said Scully. "What with all the peculiar events you alluded to earlier. A woman can't be too careful these days."

"Right," said Rosario, giving her a long, hard stare. Scully knelt on the ground behind the washing machine, making sure to keep her bare shoulders out of sight, feeling the heat of the stare tingle through her body and being very aware that she was currently wearing nothing but her underwear. She hadn't felt this way since her days in Catholic school, suffering stern lectures from the nuns. Damn it, she was an FBI agent, a highly competent professional! She was supposed to boss small-town sheriffs around, not kneel before them without her clothes on, shaking in her shoes! This kind of thing wasn't supposed to happen!

"I'll be on my way, then," said Rosario. "You picked a good time to wash your clothes, you know. Another fifteen minutes, you'd be too late."

"How come?" said Scully, quietly dreading the answer.

"Everyone comes in around lunchtime. Fifteen minutes from now, there'll be twenty or thirty people in here."