Rose Learns What Not To Wear

There was nothing but blinding light. Rose blinked several times, as if trying to banish it from her field of vision, to no effect. Feeling a migraine coming on, she covered her eyes with a hand and rose, with no small amount of difficulty, to her feet. She counted out the seconds, and to her relief, soon saw the white light receding from between the gaps in her fingers. Another round of blinking was necessary before she was acclimatised to the space she now stood in, and when it was over, she looked round it, confused. The room she was standing in was circular, the walls composed of angular white panelling, backlit by matching white lights. The floor too was white, and polished to a mirror sheen, clear enough for her to see her own reflection in it. Sure enough, upon looking down she felt her stomach turn slightly at the sight of her own face staring back at her—the long tresses of blonde hair, the round, plump cheeks, and the expression: wary, almost fearful. Rose Tyler, traveller in the TARDIS and now...captive? Prisoner? She broke off from staring down at herself, turning her attention instead to the sole break in the sequence of curved panels; a grey slab of rectangular metal, a door most likely.

What had happened? Where was she? For that matter where was The Doctor? She reached up and massaged a throbbing temple, trying to go back...
They'd been on the TARDIS, that she remembered. Her and The Doctor, and Jack of course...difficult to forget Jack. Then what? She chewed her lip thoughtfully, all she remembered was laughing and joking with The Doctor and Jack—business as usual, nothing out of place or strange...well, not any stranger than usual, anyway. The more she thought about it, the more she came back to the light. That white light, she could almost recall the image of it seeping into the TARDIS, but that couldn't be right...

Rose's reverie was interrupted by a loud whoosh. She jumped at the sound, eyes darting up just in time to see the door sliding open and revealing...robots? Two robots, two robots in...skirts? "Hello, lovely!" One of them crooned, its bob-shaped 'hair' and the sides of its chassis coloured baby-blue. "Hello indeed!" Added the other, this one coloured purple, its head was skinnier and taller by half. Rose's eyes went wide, she took a few steps back, tentatively holding her hands up in a mute gesture of surrender. "I—I'm not armed! I'm just...I think there's been a mistake!"

The purple robot let out a mechanical-sounding tut as it looked Rose up and down. "Hmm, no...no, I don't think so."

"Not with dress sense like that, it's not, lovely!" The blue one remarked. "But where are our manners? We're Zu-Zana," the blue one, Zu-Zana, gave a stilted little bow, "And Trine-E!" The purple bot, Trine-E waved cheerily. Rose glanced back and forth between them, momentarily speechless. "Y–you're...robots."

"We prefer artificial presentational platforms." Zu-Zana roved forward into the room, turning on the spot. Trine-E followed, watching her companion twirl. Rose was trying not to panic, but was equally aware of how important it was for her to be ready for any sudden movements from the two. For all she knew they could be here to or even kill her! "W-what do you want?" She demanded, pointing warningly at them. "I'm warning you, I know how to fight back and I'm not afraid to!"

"Fight back?" Trine-E cocked her head at a jaunty angle, then rotated her upper body to face Zu-Zanah. "What on earth would she want to do that for?" Zu-Zanah giggled, "I don't think our guest understands the programme she signed up for!"

"Ooh! Really?!" Trine-E clapped her hands together, making a dull, metallic clank. "Well why didn't you just say so, girlie?" Together, the two robots got into what appeared to be some kind of previously rehearsed formation, then, as one, cried, "Congratulations, you're on What Not To Wear, with Trine-E and Zu-Zanah!!!"

Rose gulped. "W-what not to wear? Like a...a TV show?"

"Well of course it's a TV show, silly! Millions of peak time viewers, hundreds of potential clothing options, and the expertise of—who else? Us!"

"But that's...like a makeover show, right? I don't...I don't need a makeover!" Rose protested, glancing down at her clothes for effect. As she had been back in the TARDIS, she was wearing her red hoodie, a pair of jeans and the battered old trainers Mickey had bought for her eighteenth. Another round of tutting from Zu-Zanah, "No, no, no! This 'look' of yours won't do at all! I mean just look at the ensemble, the cut, the colours! It's so...so..." she trailed off, seemingly overcome with despair at Rose's attire.

"Last century?" Trine-E offered.
"That's exactly it! Last century! This has to be remedied immediately!"

Rose felt a gooseflesh rising on the back of her neck. Something was wrong here, none of this was adding up, and just what were these two going on about? She saw one of them bringing something up out of nowhere—a compartment maybe? Rose was just about to ask just what the big, dangerous-looking device in Zu-Zanah's hands was when the strange robot pulled the trigger.