Only Mom will do

It had been four months since the mind-blowing news. You had moved on to your next year of college, Elsie was now a freshman at your school, and Fiona had graduated. Despite their offer and despite your initial expression of interest you had rebuffed your family thus far. You couldn't blame them too much for what they were doing, though it was freaking fucked up, but you didn't have their reason for committing the ultimate taboo. You just couldn't bring yourself to do it. Also, you were extremely intimidated. Finding out your female family were hung better than most black pornstars had been a huge blow to the old male ego. Even sweet little El...Christ. No more "races" either. Fiona still hadn't let you forget about that. Mocking your size and stamina, or lack there of, whenever she got the chance. No, it was the straight and narrow for you.

Besides, you were crazy about Allison. With all that was now happening at home now you spent more and more time out of the house. It started out slowly but week by week you were spending more and more time at Allison's apartment. You were head over heels for your sexy girlfriend. You were beginning to think about a future with her. But it was a funny feeling. You were in love, madly in love...but something wasn't right. You could both feel it. It was as if you couldn't give yourself to her one hundred percent heart and soul. Some part of you hesitated. Allison seemed more aware of it than you. You could sense her holding back as well. After you'd make love you would see a mysterious expression in her eyes as the pair of you snuggled in your afterglow. You would ignore such things however, you were too happy to focus on the negatives.

One cool winter day however...it all came tumbling down. Allison met you in the park near her place. An odd thing to be sure, but you didn't think much of it. On a park bench overlooking a snow covered park of fields and small woods, steam blowing from your mouths, Allison dumps you. She says all the right things. She isn't mean or flippant, she knew what she meant to you and respected that. She says it is about her, not about you. She says she likes you, she wants to remain friends, and that she needed to do this now before things got more serious. You honestly weren't really listening after the initial shock. You say hardly a word as your heart broke. She hugs you and strokes your shoulder with her mittened hand and apologizes. After a long awkward silence, you staring at her rosy cheeked face as if it would provide some answers, she gets up and leaves. Head bowed she walks slowly from the park and out of your life.

Your pain soon turns to anger as you get up and walk toward your car. There are a thousand thoughts all ping-ponging round your skull. You imagine she was cheating on you. You wonder if she might change her mind. You start to try to go over all the things you'd done wrong. You curse her and call her every foul name you could think of. You praise her and convince yourself you'd never find a better woman. You try to think of ways to better yourself so that you might try again. You were a mess.

You pull up to the house not even remembering the drive home. You hurry for the door. Hands clenched in fists. You would be strong, you would be a man about this. Coming through the door you are breathing rapidly as you tried to hold it together. You kick off your boots in a hurry, knocking over an umbrella that had been tucked along the side of the shoe rack. It hits the floor with a clatter.

Fiona...of course it had to be Fiona...comes out from the living room. "Geez, calm down spazz..." You look over too her. Your face twitching and flinching as you struggled mightily to keep your emotions in check. You were furious at yourself to feel tears swell in your eyes. Fiona's sneer softens as she looks at your pained visage. "Jesse? You okay?"

You were cracking. You wouldn't last long, you had to get to... You croak in a dry voice. "Where's Mum?"

"In her room." Fiona answers softly.

Just dropping your coat on the floor you hurry up the stairs. El was just leaving her room and walking into the hall as you reach that area. Her face brightens as it always did when she saw you, swiftly replaced by a wide eyed look of heartfelt concern. "Oh...Jesse, what's wrong?"

You couldn't speak. You just shake your head and hurry to your mother's room. The door was open so you march straight in. Your mother Helen was just putting the finishing touches on making her bed. She looks up and can instantly see something is wrong. "Jesse, oh my baby boy. What happened?"

You walk hurriedly around the bed and put your arms around her waist and bury your face into her huge soft chest. You weep. So much for being strong and manly. You cry in a way you hadn't since childhood. This was your first real heartbreak...and it was far more terrible than you could have imagined. You couldn't handle it alone.

She puts her warm loving arms around you, one around your back and one stroking her fingers through your hair. Her big soft body, her unique aroma, her soothing voice. She was everything you needed right now.

She speaks in a soft gentle whisper. "Shhhh. Oh Jesse. Shhhh." She strokes you. "Allison?" She asks, already knowing the answer. You squeeze your eyes shut and just nod. You stay wrapped tight onto her, your face nuzzled to her bosom.

From the door you hear a pained "ohhh" of sympathy from Elsie followed by Fiona whisper. "Fucking bitch. She thinks she's too good for him or something?" They were standing at the door, having followed you, worried about you.

Your mother says softly. "Close the door, give us some time. El, put on the kettle hun."

You hear the door latch. Your mom gently guides you down and the pair of you sit on the edge of her bed.

In the quiet of your mothers room you sob long and hard, letting out a pain unlike any other. Your mother stroking you, hugging you, kissing your head, listening to you, and soothing you. "I know baby, I know. It hurts. It hurts. Shhhh. Momma's got you now baby, shhhh."