Polly’s nudist tours

Missy was at last deposited back into the jury, fuming indignantly, she hadn’t felt this humiliated since her accidental shrinking of herself with her own TCE. In her place, a tall and slender blonde with a prominent bush was plucked up, kicking and screaming, and taken to the centre of the court. “You are Polly Wright.” “Oh do we have to do this?” Polly begged as she squirmed in the light. “Tell us of a time you were naked.” “Oh god.” She sighed.

“During one of our adventures, The Doctor, Jamie, Ben and I had landed at Gatwick airport. No sooner had we arrived, we were embroiled in the schemes of the evil Chameleon tours who were luring people on their flights to kidnap them and assume their place. I don’t really know the full story as the Chameleons captured me early on, put me on one of their flights and a double assumed my place.”*

*As seen in Doctor Who: The Faceless Ones

“However something went wrong, these chameleons had to wear arm bands to keep their bodies stable, and to keep their originals in a trance. I don’t know whether my double had her’s removed or she simply broke it by accident but either way, he body dissipated and I snapped out of my trance. I woke up to find that I was stuck in a pitch black room.”

“I could barely see as I stumbled my way through what I presumed was a hallway, before I tripped on something and fell straight into a wall. But the momentum of my fall caused the floor to slide out and an intense light and heat flooded the room. My eyes adjusted and I realised that I wasn’t inside a hallway at all, I had been in a filing cabinet! With the kidnapped airline passengers!”

“From what I could tell, I was either in the home of a group of giants, or I had been shrunk down. The worst part about life with the Doctor was that both of those explanations were equally possible. After failing to wake them up, I decided to try and get out on my own. But the drawer was the fifth one up from the floor so I couldn’t just jump down, I needed something to climb down from. There were no rope or lines anywhere in the drawer so I had to use the only things I had on me, my clothes.”

“You didn’t take the clothes of the passengers?” Inquired the judge, portraying a hint of confusion which was unusual in an artificial intelligence like itself. “No, the thought never crossed my mind. I’m not a thief, I wasn’t going to leave some poor soul in such a distressing situation. So I took off my boots, unbuttoned my jacket and pulled my shirt and pants off, leaving me in just my bra and knickers. I tied them all together in a makeshift rope line and tied it to one of my boots. I then wedged the boot inbetween the inside of the drawer, and the foam the chameleons had placed us in, and just for safety I pushed my second boot down on top of it.”

“So there I was, climbing down a giant filing cabinet in my undies, I can only Imagine how silly I looked. But then I reached the end of my makeshift rope and found that I still wasn’t close enough to the bottom. I looked and saw that I was now only two drawers down and so I decided on scaling the rest of the way down, but my hands and feet were becoming sweaty from the heat and I knew they would be slippery against the metal handles, so I unhooked my bra and swung over to the drawers, catching it with my bra and steadily planting my feet onto the drawer handle below me. Before I could climb down however, my bra snapped and I slipped onto the floor.”

“My clothes rope was now sadly out of reach and so I was **** to abandon it. I crept through the hallways (rather slowly I might add, being small is surprisingly quite exhausting) and was shocked to find outer space peering through the windows, I was even more shocked when I stumbled into a hanger and found an Earth airplane. I saw what looked like a human pilot and air hostess step onto the plane, I recognised the man as Captain Blade, the one who kidnapped me in Gatwick, and so decided to follow them into the plane to see what they were up to. While I was still embarrassed in my current state, my small stature allowed for easy stealth and I remained unnoticed as I hid among the empty airplane seats.”

“I felt the plane take off, but it felt more like a spaceship take off than that of a plane, I resisted the urge to throw up in someone’s discarded handbag. A bunch of lights began flashing above me and I felt the stifled air of the plane begin to clear and cool down and the plane bump onto a runway, we were back at Gatwick. Blade and the hostess exited the cockpit and began collecting the abandoned hand luggage, not wanting to go through the pain of another giant walk but still wanting to follow them, I decided to climb into a small suitcase underneath one of the seats and zip myself into it. I felt myself being picked up and put on what I can only assume was a luggage wagon as we drove to an unknown destination.”

“As we moved, The suitcase began to feel smaller and smaller. At first I thought I was just feeling claustrophobic, but then I felt the suitcase straining and I realised that the suitcase wasn’t getting smaller, I was getting bigger! Before long, the suitcase burst open and I tumbled right out of it. I landed on a cold marble floor and found that there were now dozens of eyes on me, I was right at the centre of the airport itself! Before I could fully acclimatise myself to my surroundings, a pair of policemen began running towards me and so I quickly got up and began sprinting, my arms hugging my chest as the police gave pursuit.

“One of the policemen grabbed me by the panties and I felt myself tear through them as I fell onto a freshly cleaned floor, I slid across and gave the onlookers a good view of my bum before quickly scrambling back onto my feet and continuing the chase. My hands indecisively went around my breasts, bum and purse as I ran around the entire building. I even tried to hide inside a photo booth but accidentally photo bombed some young man’s photo session, he probably enjoyed that souvenir. But it all ended when I crashed into a duty free shop and got smothered in honey (honestly why where they even selling that?). The policemen picked me up, but before they could cuff me and march me down to the cells, the airport Commandant spoke on the intercom and gave a priority order for all of the security officers to begin searching around the airport for some missing persons effective immediately. Noticing the imperative of the commandant’s orders, the policemen decided to just cuff my arms behind a nearby pillar and forgot all about me.”

“However long I was there for it felt like I was stuck there for ages. I was hot, sweaty, sticky thanks to the honey, I couldn’t cover myself and it felt like everyone was watching me, a lot of the elder travellers were disgusted and threw all kinds of obscenities my way while some of the younger people cheered for my supposed act of rebellion. And then there were the sleazy cat callers. Whatever the attention, it still made me squirm and wriggle as I tried to bring up my knees to cover my chest repeatedly, all to no avail.”

“How did you get out of this?” Inquired the judge. “Well, after the Doctor convinced the Chameleons to let their prisoners go, Ben found me at the pillar and barked at one of the policemen in that strong navy voice of his to release me and fetch me some clothes. He averted his gaze and stood in front of me to shield me from prying eyes as we waited for the police to return with the keys. By the time the Doctor and Jamie had arrived to collect us I was fully decent again. We then learned that we were actually back in our own time, and the two of us decided to stay behind and said our goodbyes to the Doctor and Jamie.”

“You were THAT embarrassed by these events?” Questioned the judge. “No, it had been a long time coming now, Ben and I had sort of stumbled into the TARDIS by accident, and when Jamie joined us the Doctor seemed to enjoy his company more than ours. We were beginning to feel like spare parts anyway and the pair of us being utterly useless at Gatwick was what did it.”

The lights of the judge flickered patiently while Polly’s face scrunched up as she tried to desperately keep quiet, but the truth scam was too much and she couldn’t hold out for long. “Alright! Alright! This wasn’t the first time I’d ended up naked on an adventure! First there was that colony of only female nudists, then there was an accident at a 1920’s carnival and then there was all that hijinks on some show called Britain’s got talent and that’s only scraping the surface! My misadventure at Gatwick was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.” The lights twinkled applauding.

“There! I’ve answered your questions! Now let me go!”