Normal Maintenance (Rubicon Branch)

The hallway was right where you expected it to be. It always was, right? Only... it looked different. Garish, almost. Like the walls were cinderblock and the lighting came from fluorescent tubes.

"What... the..." you say.

"Wh-- whoa!" John came running up, wearing what looked like a denim jumpsuit and pulling a yellow bucket with a mop sticking out of it. "Sorry! Didn't expect to see you right now!"

"What do you mean? I'm wrecked. My life's gotten really weird since all this started." You paused then. "Wait a sec... what's going on here?"

"What'ya mean?" John asked. He pulled the mop from the bucket and slipped it into the wringer, then began mopping the floor.

"I mean you're mopping the floor instead of pushing me to go poke in people's doors." And poke in more than that, you didn't say.

"Well, yeah. Like I said -- I didn't expect to see you right now. Just getting some regularly scheduled maintenance done on the Labyrinth -- especially your part of it."

You blinked. "What?"

John rolled his eyes. "Man, you really are just... thick, aren't you? Okay. Look. What do you know about dreams, not counting... well, literally everything we've been talking about and you've been doing for the past lots of days?"

You frowned. "I always feel like you're setting me up when you're asking me questions."

"Yeah, well -- this time I'm not. What do you know about people and their dreams? What are dreams? Come on, I know you know this. I'm you, remember?"

"I... they're... they're a lot of things," you said. "They're ways for your brain to work shit out. Or fantasize. Or... process things."

"Right! Yes! Exactly! Good! Thank you." He rolled his eyes. "In addition to the stuff you've been doing with the Labyrinth to... I don't know, psychoanalyze and Quantum Leap Sam people instead of collecting them to bang them like I suggested, dreams let people take the garbage they see in their day and process it. It's when and how your brain puts things in perspective. And it cleans the ol' neural pathways and shit. Except your brain doesn't do that any more."

"It doesn't?" you say. That... didn't sound healthy.

"No. It doesn't. As you grow into your abilities, your neurology grows more advanced. When you reached the point where you could connect to the Labyrinth, then those circuits became busy, at least when you're normally asleep. But you still need to do all the same mental garbage collection and subconscious purging that everyone else needs to do. You just have to do it when you're awake. That's part of why I exist!"

You look around. "So... I can't go wander into anyone's dreams or meet them in the hallway right now?"

John rolled his eyes. "Of course you can. But it'll put you behind on maintenance. Hell, any time you fall asleep you'll end up here. Even something like anesthetic puts you here. But if you don't spend a good amount of your day awake and doing non-daydreamy shit, then you will literally start to suffer from sleep deprivation."

You roll your eyes. "You're telling me I can get sleep deprivation by sleeping too much?"

"Hey man. I didn't make up the rules." He stopped, and thought for a moment. "Actually, since there's only, like, one potential psychotopologist for every twelve million people, more or less, and nowhere near all psychotopologists ever get this far... maybe I do make up the rules. Well, by me I mean you."

"Psychotopologist?" You shake your head. "Seriously? That's a word?"

"It is now. Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway -- if you're going to be here, you should probably do something to get that trim. You're way behind what I expected, at least after you had such a promising start with your sister and nailing Bella Cardigan--"

"Behin-- okay, I'm a little sick of your attitude," you say. "You told me that I researched all of this -- figured it out, figured out the rules, and then poured all that knowledge into you so I'd forget it when I woke up, right?"

"Yeah! So you could use the Labyrinth the way it was meant to be used! As your own. Personal. Playground."

"And that's why I only remember what I did in my dreams when I'm here."

"Yeeeeessss? We've covered this."

"Then why don't I remember the stuff you know? I mean, why do I retain my knowledge from after my brain wipe but not before? Why do you exist to clean the floors and wash out the crud in my brain even when I'm awake?"

"Uggggggh... you... drive me nuts, you know that? You're the one who decided to do it this way!"

"And you exist as part of me I've separated from the rest of myself."

"Yes! Why are we talking about this?"

It was actually a good question. Normally, this sort of thing didn't really occur to you during your trips down the hallway and into the Labyrinth. What was different about it now?

You shook off that line of thought. "Okay. Why? Why would forgetting the dreams and not knowing what you know help me build this harem?"

"Because otherwise you'll act differently in the outside world and give it all away!"

"Act differently?" You blinked. "You mean like how Shelly's acting differently? Or Tiffany? Or Bella? Everyone I interact with ends up acting differently! The only thing my forgetting all this does is keep me from understanding why!"

John rubbed his face. "You are... such a buzzkill, you know that."

There was a sudden tingling through your body. "What th--"

"Surprise surprise. Shelly's parked the car somewhere, and is now feeling up your dick. You're about to wake up, and the two of you are about to do something no doubt incredibly hot. Oh. And? You're welcome!"

"No. No, we're going to talk this ou--"

There was an almost discordant jangle, your eyes flipping open. "--nooooo--"

Shelly giggled. "No? Are we back to that again? Haven't you figured out that the answer is yes? At least... my answer is yes..."

You blink again. "I -- man. Dream or some-- whoa..." You half-smile as her fingers work on your hard-on through your pants. "You are... better than an alarm clock."

Shelly giggled. "Pity I can't just wake you up every morning. Yet."

"...wait. Yet?"

Shelly giggled. "Broooo... you're going to graduate in May, remember? And then comes college? And if you go to the same community college I go to for your first couple years? I see absolutely no reason why we can't get a cheap apartment together. I mean, freedom and all that! Who'd question it? We're little brother and big sister!" She giggled again. "I might stop wearing clothes entirely around the house." She smiled a bit more. "But meanwhile, we're all alone out here--"

You blink yet again, looking around. She'd apparently used your nap as an excuse to drive to one of the more popular scenic views outside of town. There was a beautiful view of the valley spreading out before you... and no other cars around you.

Oh shit. Shelly drove you to a makeout point.