Near a mountain side

River awoke on a cold and hard ground. She looked around and could only see rocks surrounding her. Before she could even begin to process what had just happened, a broad soldier in a typical English redcoat started lumbering towards her. No wait, River realised, that wasn’t a soldier, it was an oversized toy prop with creaky joints. That fact didn’t reassure her however, as the wooden man held what seemed to be a real rifle and bayonet.

With the large shape of the soldier blocking any escape paths, River opted to climb up the mountain behind her. She felt the blade of the bayonet narrowly miss her feet as she pulled herself up the rock face with haste. She had become a rather adept and agile rock climber thanks to a previous visit to the mountains of Zastros 8, a visit that she really hadn’t wanted to repeat anytime soon.

After a few meters however, she had ran out of handholds to use and was now stuck on a ledge. River looked down and saw that the soldier was starting to follow her and it didn’t look like it was going to give up. “Oh what I wouldn’t give for a rope.” She sighed. As if in answer to her prayers, a large, golden strand of what looked like rope fell down right in front of her. Hmmm, how mysterious, but best not to look a gift horse in the mouth she thought as she immediately started climbing up it.

After what felt like mere moments, River found herself gasping for air by the edge of a windowsill, she was exhausted and sweating bullets but she was at least out of the reach of that soldier. She watched it give up and climb back down the mountain. “Now then, let’s see who my rescuer is,” River began pulling on the rope further until- “Ow!” A beautiful young woman stumbled into River’s view. River’s mouth was agape as she looked at the rope at the hands, and then back at the woman, realising that she was actually holding a long strand of hair.

“Sorry,” River let go of the hair. “Oh it’s alright, everyone seems to use it, just wish they wouldn’t pull on it so tightly. But who are you? You’re certainly not a prince.” “What gave it away?” River smiled as she flicked her hair. “Because a prince would be wearing clothes.” River suddenly remembered her state of undress and quickly crossed her hands and cupped her breasts. “Oh Of course, silly me,” River smiled weakly.

“Well if you’re not a prince then I’m afraid there’s not much I can do for you,” The woman moved to close the window. “No wait!” The woman stopped, River moved her arms away from her chest and leaned down on the Window sill. “Won’t you help a poor girl out?” She leant further into the woman’s ear, “I can make it worth your while.” She whispered seductively. The woman pulled back disgusted, “why you perverted little minx!” And before River could respond, the window smacked into her face and she toppled backwards off of the cliff.