It's Galavant. Don't question it.

In retrospect, Madalena reflected, going to try and wreak bloody vengeance on Richard might've gone better if there hadn't been a giant fire-breathing lizard on his side. Even with the dark magic she'd recently picked up, a dragon was asking a bit much.

So she'd made a hasty retreat and returned to biding her time, planning for the future.

How the hell had he gotten a dragon?!

She stumbled away from his castle, clutching her ankle-length skirt in her hands so that she could run without stumbling. The one thing that she'd always appreciated about royalty was the finer things, dresses like this, a deep violet that was achingly soft against her skin.

Not the most practical for leading a one woman war on a castle, but that was what D'DEW was for. Even if it hadn't worked this time.

Breathlessly she turned around, making sure no one was following. This ought to be far enough back to start on planning anew; maybe she should get an actual army. Maybe find something that could actually go up against a dragon.

Madalena sighed, grip relaxing, skirt falling back into its normal position. She straightened for a moment, regaining a little of her usual regal posture. No, damn it, she was not just going to flee. A strategic withdrawal because of an unexpected threat was not running away.

She was still Madalena, still the should-be Queen, still a follower of the Dark Dark Evil Way, still a hell of a looker. She flattened the creases in her skirt, making sure she was at least presentable even if she was unlikely going to be turning up at any castles soon.

A skirt all the way down to her ankles, a figure-hugging midriff, a neckline that went low enough to display just enough cleavage to merit her confident smirk. Yep, she could do.

Madalena strode in, barely paying attention to the sign she passed: Clearing of Plot Convenience. She walked in.

Immediately she stiffened as a few travellers wandered across her path. She tensed, fully prepared to use magic-

"Hello traveller!" one said. "I don't suppose you're in the market for a baby dragon? We've got one, but we don't really have any space for it to grow, and no use for-"

"What? Yes, give me that!" Madalena said.

"How about an exchange?" the same person said. "My wife and I need a bit of coin to get to the nearest town. I don't suppose you, in that fancy finery, have any?"

Madalena hesitated; she quickly patted herself down. No, damn it, of course she didn't have any coin. Servants carried around money, why would she have to? Besides, she didn't need money, people gave her what she wanted. That was just how it is.

"No," she said. Then she paused. "Let's see if this will convince you."

She thrust her arms forwards, fingers splayed, calling upon D'DEW.

Nothing happened. She blinked. After a moment she repeated the motion, then frowned, peering at her hand.

"Are you ok, miss?" the apparent-wife said.

Figured. If the peasants were just carrying around a baby dragon, maybe they'd picked up some magical pendant or other by accident. Would explain why her magic wasn't working.

Madalena sighed, hastily drawing her arms back and trying her utmost to be polite. It was a bit of a strain.

"I... don't carry around money," she said. "I can promise to get back to you. Or, if you don't have any use for it, you could just give me the dragon anyway."

"We've got to get something for it," the man said. "If we're giving up..."

He paused; his wife nudged him, leaning in the whisper something. A moment later and he nodded.

"Right," he said. "How about your dress?"

"What?!" Madalena suddenly squeaked.

"It has to be worth a good penny," he said. "Maybe not as rare as a dragon, but we should be able to exchange it for something."

"This dress?" she said.

"Yes," he said.

"The one I'm wearing," she said.

"That's the one," he said.

She hesitated. Oh, what she wouldn't give to have her magic... True, she wasn't shy with her body, but that was normally in the privacy of her bedchamber, not out in the open like this. Then again she did really want a dragon, baby or not. Given a bit of time hopefully it would grow up enough to take on Richard. That would be glorious.

But that was the future. In the now she had nothing but her dress and her underwear to her name, and this might be the only opportunity she had for something to right the balance.

Maybe she should just hope for something else.