Fortune favors the brave.

Yangong was just about to walk away from me when I called out to her. I hoped her subtle wink meant she had at last forgiven me for my previous poor pick up attempt.

Upon hearing her name, she turned back toward me, her face devoid of all expression.

Time to put my hours upon hours of study to the test. I began the words I had been rehearsing using both the formal polite and traditional intonations, “My night soars in delight, having just witnessed your face.” I hope I have said everything perfectly.

The look on Yangong face tells a different story. “You want to do what to a donkey?” she says in disgust in English.

Panicking, I try again with a second line I had practised. “I am blessed to be in the company as one so gracious as yourself?” my voice rising into a question as I find myself fumbling the hard sounds.

“My mother does not lay down with Buffalo,” she spits back with venom.

I freak out, my mouth hanging open, cursing the day I ever wasted money on that ridiculous piece of software.

Yangong suddenly bursts out laughing, “you should have just seen your face!”

I cannot form the words to deal with what is going on.

“I’m just messing with you,” Yangong explains to me still laughing to herself. “Your pronunciation is near perfect. I’m impressed. I don’t experience many of your people able to speak my language so elegantly. What made you take up studying?”

“I’ve long been fascinated by Chinese. It is my dream to one day visit and immerses myself in its ancient culture,” I say to Yangong, not yet brave enough to try speaking mandarin freestyle. Translating my bullshit would **** me to say I would do anything to nail your sexy ass and I’m sure that would not be anywhere near as well received. I don’t want to end up in traction.

“I’d love to talk more mandarin with you sometime, perhaps I could help you with your lesson?” she offered.

“I’d very much like that,” I tell her, this time sincere.

Yangong takes a pen and a slip of paper out of her tiny purse and writes something out for me. I take it and look to see a jumble of Chinese characters I couldn’t possibly read.

“When you can work that out, come find me,” smirking, Yangong turns and walks off into my club.

Challenge accepted my ‘great white whale’…