Drusilla

Cordelia's first thought was that she was indeed in Hell because why else would a vampire like Drusilla be here?

Then she realized that the presence of a vampire like Drusilla did not necessarily mean she was in Hell or even in the underworld though it did seem like a bit of a stretch to interpret Drusilla's presence as a sign that Cordelia was actually in Heaven. Especially the way Drusilla kept staring at her naked body in a way that was even more unsettling than the type of look she could expected from Xander or Wesley or Oz or even Angel.

Then Drusilla spoke. "Grandmother, it seems like someone was kind enough to leave us a boxed lunch."

And just like that, Angel's vampiric ex-girlfriend Darla appeared in the slot besides Drusilla.

"Ah," said Darla. "A naked human in a box. Gee, that brings back memories. Unfortunately, not any good ones though. Should we let her out, Dru?"

"What fun would that be?" asked Drusilla. "I kinda like the way she looks from here. Besides, she's Buffy's friend. So as far as I'm concerned, she can stay in there."

Wait a minute! thought Cordelia. All the time I spent in my previous life working with Angel Investigations and auditioning for acting roles and totally dominating the social scene at Sunnydale High and Drusilla still thinks of me first and foremost as Buffy's friend? Not Angel's friend? Or Wesley's friend? Or that really smart girl who was the real brains behind Angel Investigations? Or that really pretty and promising actress who could have been a movie star? Or that head cheerleader who routinely sacrificed her free time to help out the Scooby Gang? No, Drusilla thinks of me as Buffy's friend?!

Despite herself, Cordelia found her saying, "Wait a minute, Drusilla! I was never Buffy's friend. Occasional ally, maybe. Frenemy, most definitely. But never a friend. You have no idea what a pain it was to be around that girl at times."

Drusilla and Darla just looked at each other.

"Actually," said Darla, "I think we do. We both had our issues with the Slayer. And she killed me, remember?"

"Actually, the way I heard it was that Angel killed y -- " Cordelia started to say.

Then a little voice inside her head said, "Stop."

But it was too late.

Darla just looked at Cordelia and said, "That's right. You're Angel's friend, too. And from what I understand, you were as almost as close to him as the Slayer used to be."

"Shut uuppp!" said the little voice inside Cordelia's head.

But Cordelia spoke anyway. "Well, that was the past. Angel abandoned me. And anyway, I died quite a while ago. So I have no idea where Angel is right now nor am I in a position to find out. Anyway, you were once in this same position too, Darla. You too know what it's like to be brought back from the dead and trapped in a box. And judging from your reactions, I highly doubt either of you put me in here. So please show me some mercy and let me out -- and of course, not eating me or drinking my blood would be nice too."

Darla kept staring at Cordelia in a way that was even more unsettling than the way Drusilla had looked at her.

Finally Darla said, "You're funny, Cordelia. I'm glad the evil lawyers chose to bring you back and not the other girl."

And with that, she closed the little door to the slot and locked it.