Brian, servicing the third wheel...

Disclaimer: This story's plot device, a Pink Basic pill, is based on the current version, which last for 24 hours.

My name is Brian. I'm 21 years old and I work at Hot Dog on a Stick on the second floor of the Cascades Town Center, next door to the now-closed Mongolian BBQ place. I grew up seeing my subtly effeminate features as things that held back my intended manly identity, but made up for it with a normally male personality. I may have been slender and weak-looking, but I was smart and friendly to my peers. To my circle of friends, I was the last person they would call a pushover.

I had been seeing my girlfriend, Caitlyn, for at least a year and today I was planning to celebrate our one-year anniversary by taking her out to dinner. I had the next two days off tomorrow, so if we wanted to extend the outing, we could. I was excited once I got off of work. I went home, took a shower and shaved my face as best as I could. I shot off a text to my girlfriend telling her I had reservations to the new Brazilian steakhouse in the city. What I didn't tell her was that I originally made a reservation for three people, myself and two of my friends, but hours before the cancellation cutoff date, they said they were unable to make it. To save myself a cancellation fee, I chose to keep it, even though one seat would be ultimately empty.

Once I was dressed and adorned with cologne, I made my way to Caitlyn's house. I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. I smiled when the door opened and my girlfriend was standing there, dressed in a cute dress. “Ready to go, babe?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” she replied and I would have immediately taken her hand and pulled her out of the house, but she added words that I wished she did not utter. “Can you do me a favor, Brian? You see, my older brother just got back from his tour and I was wondering if he can join us for dinner.”

In another instance, I would flat-out refuse, but something in me hesitated, giving me time for my mind to produce notions of improving my relationship with Caitlyn. In my reverie, I saw any refusal to invite my girlfriend's family as future opportunities for Caitlyn to refuse me outright. It didn't matter the situation. I could hear excuses ring out, 'Sorry, babe, but I have a wedding to go to,' or 'it's my cousin's baby shower,' or 'I have to go to my grandmother's funeral that day.' My own parents would frown upon the refusal to get to know my girlfriend's family, because one day, I'll have to face them when I ask for their daughter's hand in marriage.

I had one last chance to say no, but I stopped myself and instead said, “Sure. I don't mind.” Caitlyn was so ecstatic of my agreement and went back into the house to fetch her brother, calling out to him in a voice that echoed through the house.

A man dressed in a camo jacket and jeans came out of the hallway, pushed by none other than Caitlyn. He smiled upon seeing me and with no hesitation, he reached out a hand. I reached forward to grasp his hand and shake it, gripping it firmly. His smile grew knowing he wasn't going to crush the other man's hand, though in reality, if I weakened my grip even just a little bit, I'd be reeling from the pressure of his vice-tight grip. I didn't want to show that I was weak and immediately introduced myself. “Hello Sir, my name is Brian,” I greeted.

“Please, please, Sir is for the drill sergeant. Just call me Carter, man,” he chuckled and greeted in an informal way. “You two were going to a Brazilian steakhouse, I hear? I'm glad that you could take me along.”

“It's no problem. I just remembered that the reservation was for three people. I'm happy to fill the third seat, if it means I don't get charged for it being empty,” I tell him, in an effort to get on his good side.

“That's good thinking, man. Well, I'm ready if you two are,” Carter says, stepping out the door and onto the porch.

“I gotta get my phone,” Caitlyn calls from inside the house.

“Girls will always be late, one way or another. At least you have the patience. It's a virtue, you know,” Carter mentions. I nod in agreement as I walk him to the car. I'm surprised he's comfortable enough to immediately go for the backseat. “Thanks again, man. I know it's a little last-minute, her asking that favor of you. And I understand if this was supposed to be a date thing.”

“It's totally cool with me. Way I see it, you just got back from your tour overseas. You're probably sick and tired of the food you were eating out there,” I suggest. He laughs from his belly as Caitlyn walks over to the car, taking the passenger seat next to me.

Carter talks the most during our drive to the steakhouse, recalling his experiences on his tour. I spot Caitlyn shaking her head at how obnoxious he seems to her, which I somehow read as regret in ever mentioning her proposal to invite him in the first place. I am instead enjoying the brother-sister dynamic they have going.

When we arrive, we are seated and are advised to grab a plate of salad or other side dishes from the buffet section before flipping a card on our table once we are ready to accept cuts of meat. Carter foregoes the buffet and flips the meat card at the first moment once the rules are given, signaling the waiters bring various cuts of meat to the patrons that our table is ready. By the time Caitlyn and I are ready for a taste of the meats, her older brother has already downed ten times the portions of what we first receive.

I would be alright if he rendered himself comatose after devouring equal to his body weight in meat, but instead, he becomes all the more obnoxious and annoying. He even gets louder and more talkative to the servers once he is served a beer or two. As I eat and soon get to my limit of food, I could see the other diners in the room look at our table more and more as time passes. I read their judgmental looks and get embarrassed, regretting that I even said yes to inviting Carter to dinner.

I honestly like the guy, but his mannerisms are a bit over the top. The sooner I could pay the bill, the better. On our way to the car, he was clearly tipsy and due to how much he ate, was immediately gassy and without warning, would unleash methane stink bombs in the backseat.

Once we got back to Caitlyn's house, there was no opportunity for a parting kiss or for fear of him inviting himself, no likelihood I would extend the outing any further. The only thought we both had was getting Carter to the door and making sure he got inside one way or another.

I planned to bid Caitlyn and her brother goodnight and head straight home. Once I did, Caitlyn bid me farewell, and with how much she ate at the steakhouse, looked ready to pass out. Carter, on the other hand had the nerve to ask, “Hey bro. Want a beer?” as if he did not have enough to drink at the restaurant.

I had tolerated him thus far and recalling how I did not reprimand him for his behavior this evening, I felt confident enough to refuse his offer.