Bare Statistics?

Zari opened her eyes and saw the bridge was empty. The room she was standing in, the captain's office was also vacant, but still retained all of the artifacts, books, and other ephemera that had accumulated since the ship's maiden voyage. The only thing missing was the crew...

...And her clothes.

Zari felt a chill and realized she was still naked and hugged her arms over her chest self consciously. Of course, with no one else present to see her nudity, she quickly signed and dropped her arms. However, her assumption that she was alone soon changed.

"Ah, Miss Tomaz. You're here." came a friendly, but oddly different sounding, voice.

"Gideon?" Zari asked, expecting to hear an answer from the ship's PA.

"I'm here, Miss Tomaz." the female AI said.

Zari turned to where the voice had come from. It didn't sound at all like the robotic tone from the PA. This sound as if she were...

"Oh, God!" Zari shouted as her eyes fell on Gideon.

ALL of Gideon was on display. As in her 100% naked female form.

"Oh, I didn't mean to upset you. You see, your simulation didn't specify if I was to appear clothed." Gideon explained.

Zari covered her eyes and blushed. Then she smiled. Here she was, standing naked in front of a naked projection of the ship's AI, yet she was the one who didn't want to embarrass the naked woman by looking at her!

"I don't understand what is so amusing." Gideon commented.

"oh, it's nothing. Wait, where is everyone?" Zari asked.

"Everyone is fine, engaging in conversation on the bridge. Your simulations worked exactly as you intended." Gideon explained.

"My... Simulations?" Zari asked.

"Yes, you wanted to know if there was a way for you to gain the crew's trust in the shortest amount of time, and you did it by saving them from a bomb. Your nudity may have also been a factor."

"You mean that was all my simulation?!"

"Yes. In fact, you are still inside it. Let me show you a live feed."

Suddenly, the room transformed, and Zari found herself standing amongst the other legends on the bridge. Thankfully, they couldn't see her, but she could see them. They were all standing around the main console, talking about plans to fight Malice.

"These totems are our best bet to stopping Malice from destroying time and space. Amaya and Zari are the only ones who know how they work, so until Zari wakes up, we will have to wait." Sara explained.

"In the meantime, can we visit Aruba? I can work on my tan and get a beer." Mick said.

"We aren't going anywhere. Malice will find us and likely turn whatever haven we find to dust. So we are staying put in the time stream. Clear?" the blonde captain replied.

Just then, a rectangular portal opened, and Agent Ava Sharpe entered, looking distressed.

"Hey. So, we have read some odd spikes of electromagnetic energy from your ship, and it coincides with some kind of anomaly. I came to investigate, as there isn't anything that points to anything specific." Agent Sharpe explained.

"Great to have you with us. You can wait for Zari to wake up from being exposed to time fluid. Gideon said she should be okay, but needs rest." Sara explained.

"Time fluid? Whatever. I'll just wait with the rest of you." Ava said.

"She looks tense. I guess she and Sara haven't hooked up yet?" Zari asked Gideon.

"As far as I'm aware, Captain Lance and Agent Sharpe have not made their relationship physical." Gideon replied.

"Shame. Gideon, what were your conclusive from my simulations?"

"Your hypothesis that saving their lives would endear you to them was proven correct. Your impulse for nudity further endeared you to the male members of the crew and to Captain Lance. However, it did cause Amaya to become less enthused with being near you."

"Hmm, so even Ray enjoyed seeing me naked? Good to know. What about what I learned about them? Was that all fabricated?"

"Everything you experienced was fabricated, but the information used was accurate."

"Now that we know the variables and how I would react and the end result, what would happen if during the time loop, everyone was naked?"

"I'm not sure what you're hypothesising."

"You said my nudity had a result on how the crew viewed me. What if everyone was naked?"

"Calculating... The net effect would be the same if everyone were clothes, only things would progress slower. As the questions and curiosities of everyone's bodies would get in the way of solving the problem."

"What if it were just the men that were naked?"

"The ship would be run smoothly, but any discoveries or ideas from the men would be slower as Dr. Palmer and Dr. Heywood wouldn't like to bet ogled by the female crew."

"Ugh, so if all the women were naked?"

"Cooperation would be paramount, the men may be distracted, but Captain Lance is always able to keep them in line. No jealousy or resentment among the crew, and the Captain isn't really distracted by naked females."

"Intriguing, but not surprising. Could you extrapolate these conclusions to tell me the best success rates for every combination of naked women on the crew?"

"Calculating... Calculating... Calculating... All the best success rates include you as at least one of the naked female members of the crew."

"I could've guessed. Gideon, tell me which combination worked best."

"The best scenario would have you and Amaya be the sole naked crew members. However, there is another configuration that may be of interest. It has to do with Agent Sharpe."

"Go on."

"If Agent Sharpe is included in the scenario, your success rates increase dramatically. However, that's only if she, and every female crew member on the Waverider are naked."

"So, either just me and Amaya, or us plus Sara and Ava? What's the difference in our projected Success rates?"

"A difference of 20%"

"Gideon, are you able to implement the nudity protocol I experienced in the simulation?"

"I can program nanobots to destroy clothing. Any clothing issued would be for the sole purpose of blending in and not to draw attention. On **** cases, for protection. However, they are automatically removed when on the ship."

"Gideon, follow me to the infirmary." Zari said, her bare feet slapped against the floor.

Once inside, Zari saw her real body laying in the chair. Fully clothed.

"Man, I really look badass, but if it will help us stores Malice... Gideon, implement the nudity protocol on my real body."

"As you wish, Miss Tomaz."

Zari watched as her sleeping body seemingly had her clothing erased in a moment. They simply disintegrated before her eyes. All that was left was her totem.

"Okay. Gideon. Finish everyone else." Zari ordered.

"Right away, Miss Tomaz."