Amy Pond's Crack

Ace was red-faced with a mix of anger and embarrassment as she was returned to the bench, and replaced by someone with hair as red as Ace’s blush. Amy shrieked as she was lifted up.

“Amy Pond,” the Judge began.

“I know who I am!” Amy said. She was already bright red; she knew what she’d have to talk about. “Can we just get this over with?”

“Tell us of a time you were nude.”

“I grew up with a crack in time on my bedroom wall. I didn’t know back then, but it had an effect. Whatever it took in was lost, and forgotten; anyone swallowed by it might as well have never existed. I never knew my parents until after the universe was fixed.

And I remember one day, before I started travelling with the Doctor… My memory’s a little fuzzy. I only pieced together what must have happened so much later. It was in the corner of my room, just by my wardrobe, and one night while I slept it took the whole thing inside.

When I woke up, as far as I could remember I’d always been naked. I’d never even owned clothes, let alone worn them, and as far as everyone else was concerned it was the same, and it was normal.

Only it wasn’t. Something kept niggling at the back of my head, that it wasn’t quite right, that this wasn’t how things were meant to be, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about it.

It just suddenly felt much more embarrassing than it did in my memories. I remembered doing everything I must have been dressed doing, only I wasn’t. Going to the shops, taking my driving test, parties…

The first day I spent after that, I just stayed indoors. I never opened my curtains, I crawled around the house keeping low to close every other pair I had, and tried to work out why I suddenly felt so exposed like this.

I couldn’t just stay like that though. I’ve never been one to be a recluse, and not talking to friends never went well for me.

I phoned up Rory, asked him to bring me a spare outfit. He just laughed, said ‘good one,’ and came over anyway without any clothes for me. According to him, me wanting to wear anything was just weird, and I had the feeling that I’d get the same reaction from anyone else.

It kind of was weird, honestly. I didn’t understand it then. I knew I’d always been naked, but now it bothered me so much more. I never knew what the crack did for so long, and by then I’d been able to use the TARDIS wardrobe to get dressed. The Doctor never expected me to be naked.

The only person who acted like anything was off was my friend Mels, but she never said anything. She just seemed to find the whole thing hilarious. Meanwhile I blushed if I did so much as go into the garden, let alone when I had to go out and shop for food.

And my job wasn’t exactly easier. I was a kissogram; get hired, go out, kiss someone, it was usually a bit of a laugh. It was much, much more embarrassing when I was totally naked during. I mean, I still had my shoes – they weren’t in the wardrobe – so I technically had something on, but it didn’t feel it. If anything they just made me feel more naked.

I think I spent the better part of a year like that, never wearing a stitch, before I got a special request from work. Rather than just showing up and kissing someone, they wanted me to dress up first for the whole costume lark.

It was only then I found out that, even if my normal clothes were gone, wearing special costumes for work didn’t seem to count. I guess that made sense; I kept my work-clothes separate from my regular wardrobe.

It wasn’t really a great alternative. I spent all my time either stark naked, or dressed up as some sexy policewoman or nurse or something. The outfits were fun, but not when they were all I could ever wear. I couldn’t even put them on all the time. Wearing glorified sexy Halloween costumes casually was somehow more inappropriate for me than going nude.

So that was my next few years. Every waking moment, either naked or, on far too rare an occasion, a short skirt and stockings and policewoman’s top. Eventually I just had to accept that all Leadworth had seen my boobs, and the rest of me.

The first few weeks, when I left the house I made it quick. I just ran down the street, blushing, my arms crossed to try and avoid going full frontal on the way there but on the way back when I was carrying shopping I couldn’t manage to keep my arms that high and run at the same time so I just bared everything. I tried to shop early when there were fewer people out, but even in a place as sleepy as Leadworth there were always joggers, and the shop staff always got an eyeful.

I thought I’d at least be able to stop the whole town seeing my cunt, but that failed after just a couple of days. You don’t think about all the practical issues with being constantly naked until you lock yourself out and remember you’ve not got any way to keep a key on you. When I tried squirming in through a window, I must have been stuck like that for half hour, legs kicking back, ass in the air, and offering a view right up between them to anyone that happened to walk by.

And after all that, I still didn’t have the luxury of getting dressed. I curled up, still nude, in my room and tried to rest, then had to go out the next day with nothing on but shoes and plant a kiss on some birthday girl.

I did try to buy clothes, you know. The shopkeeper wouldn’t sell, not to me, and if I got **** enough to steal I knew there was no way for me to keep it on. The entire town was pretty much dedicated to keeping what they thought was ‘normal,’ namely me being stark naked.

Between Mels laughing her head off every time I was blushing when we met up, the outfits that were scandalous even by my standards that were all I ever got to wear on rare days, the next few years were humiliating. I sometimes still forget I can get dressed until I’m halfway out the front door.”

Amy flushed, suspended over the courtroom. Her vivid red hair was a stark contrast to the pale shoulders it fell down over. She whimpered, fidgeting uselessly in the forcefield.

And she’d thought she wouldn’t need to worry about being naked ever since everything was restored…

“You happy?!” Amy yelped, as the truth scan stopped plucking the story from her. “Can I go now?”

“Jury selection will only be complete when I have heard from everyone,” the Judge said.