A vampire and his eccentric girlfriend

"Look at all the people, Stake!" said Messalina as she watched the new arrivals at the Violet Moon from the safety of the second floor. "Why do you suppose they're all here?"

"Not to hunt bloody rabbits, that's for certain!" said Stake, still missing the days when he wore a black toga -- though the black leather coat he currently wore was no mean substitute. "My guess would be that they're all here to kill the local dragon."

"Aww!" said Messalina. "I kinda liked that dragon. It always looks so cute when it sets people on fire. So which one do you think is the Slayer?"

"My guess would be the blonde," said Stake.

"Oh, right," said Messalina. "You like blondes, don't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Stake.

"Why don't you think it's the redhead?" asked Messalina.

"Because that girl is obviously Jewish and the Watchers Council rarely uses Jewish girls as their Slayers," said Stake. "Not even half-Jewish girls."

"I knew a Jewish girl once," said Messalina. "I used to meet her outside the convent where I was preparing to be a nun. For the longest time, she was my only friend and we got along way better than I ever got along with any of the other would-be nuns. So naturally after Damon gave me the Dark Gift, she was the first girl that I killed."

At this point, Messalina's eyes went vacant and Stake could not tell whether she was reliving a happy memory or a not so happy memory. Not that it mattered much with Mess.

"Oh, Damon again," said Stake. "I thought you moved on from him."

"Well, he is a hard person to get over," said Messalina. "First he killed my friends, then he killed my family, then he killed all the other nuns, then he killed their friends and families and finally he killed me. But then the Gypsies cursed him and gave him back his soul so I guess that showed him."

"Anyway, it looks like it's going to rain outside so it's not likely she'll be fighting the dragon tonight," said Stake.

"You really think so?" said Messalina. "Because I saw a Slayer fight a dragon during a rainstorm once. She was a blackamoor. What was her name? Oh, yes... Niccola Wood. She was such a pretty thing."

At this point Messalina's eyes went vacant again. "She also had such a lovely voice. She screamed so beautifully when she went up in flames. I don't suppose history is likely to repeat itself, is it?"