The Awesome Store

I'm walking down the street when I spot an old, red van parked by the curb. I don't think anything of it. Just a van, right? But just as I pass by, the window rolls down with a long creak and a pair of eyes peak out at me from within.

"Psst, hey, you." A hoarse voice calls out in a not-so-subtle whisper. "I got some special quality wares for sale. You interested?"

"I'm not into , man." I tell him and start walking away. The van kick starts and slowly rides along the curb, following me.

"That's a stereotype, man." The voice says. "Just because I'm a suspicious person in beat up van doesn't mean I'm selling anything illegal."

"What are you selling, then?" I'm suspicious, but curious.

"Oh, just a few items of interest a young man like you might find... interesting." He says with a light chuckle.

"See, how am I to believe this isn't something illegal when you say it like that?" I ask, critically.

"Oh, yeah. Good point." He clears his throat, but it doesn't help his voice at all. "I've got items of varying properties that you might find fun and advantageous in your life. What do you say?"

I sigh, not believing a word he says. But it's been a boring day, so I decide to play along. "Fine. What do you got?"

The slashing door to the van suddenly opens and I see a heap of miscellaneous junk. "Did you raid a dump? What is this stuff?" I pick up a few items. A dripping umbrella, note book, an empty fish bowl.

"Just pick one, man." The shady guy sounded almost irritated. "First one is free. Consider it a gift."

I look around the pile again, seeing if there's anything that might interest me. My eyes land on one particular item. I pick it up and ask the guy about it.