License to Fuck

If i was drinking anything, I'd have spit it out. "I'm sorry, a WHAT?!"

"That's right. From my 'mature' section." He might have been trying to sound sultry, but it came off as creepy. "Present this card to anyone and request to fuck them. They'll comply as if it's what they want."

"No fucking way this is a thing." I couldn't believe it. It was beyond stupid. But....

"All my merchandise is legit." He said. "And safe to use. Well, except that turtle I sold to some fat guy a few years ago. That thing was pure evil."

"What?" I was getting confused.

"Nothing, never mind." The van door slid shut and the engine rumbled to life. "Just give it a try. You won't regret it!" Then the van peeled out and away from me, down the road and out of sight.

I turned the card over to look at the back. It was blank. I turned it over again and the front had somehow changed. An image of me was suddenly there. Like a regular ID, it explained my age, race, address, etc. But it also had 'Body Count' and 'Fertilized Count.' Body count was at 4 and Fertilized Count was at 0. I've been sexual with more than 4 women, but I've had actual sex with only 4. I guess this card only counts penetration?

So, I might actually have a magical license to fuck whomever I want. Who should I try it out on first?