Deck of Infinite Things

"Alright. Fine. How about this?" I picked up a small rectangular box that looked the least mundane. It was brown, likely made out of leather, with some simple ornaments and small glass beads decorating the exterior. I opened the flap and saw a stack of thick cards inside.

The weird man cracked up in laughter. "Deck of infinite things! Draw a card, and something random will happen to you! You'll find no end to the entertainment in your life with it! Just beware, some of its effects may not be ideal."

I snagged a card and pulled it out, more curious than truly believing his words. It had an intricate illustration that reminded me of a tarot card, but instead of any of the classic depictions of the major or minor arcana, it was unmistakably the drawing of a penis piercing the clouds.

Before I could even laugh, the card started to glow and dissolved into motes of light, which shot towards my crotch. I tried to jump out of the way. Whether I succeeded or not, I could not tell as I did not feel anything from their impact. I looked back at the stranger.

"What was that?"

"Why don't you look at your junk and find out?"

I took a peek down my pants and was astounded to discover a giant python lying within my underwear. My dick was now bigger limp than it used to be fully erect!

"Landed the jackpot did you? Not something I would want to be honest. It's all about how you use it."

"No way! It's real?"

"As real as can be, boy. Now, go have fun! The deck automatically replenishes so you'll never run out of cards!"

The man shut the door and drove off, leaving me with the magic deck of cards and a huge cock.

"What the fuck..." I muttered in disbelief. I quickly went home. I dropped my pants and stroked it to full erection. It measured at around eight inches. It was fortunate that it wasn't any bigger or I would struggle to find a girl that could survive it, not to mention the inconvenience of lugging such a giant dong around every day.

How could magic be real? I looked at the unassuming deck again. It felt almost too easy to receive such an amazing item. Was there an unseen price? My soul, perhaps?

It would be best if I never touched it again.

...

Maybe one more.