The Amnesiac Overlord

It all seemed like a blur, to be honest.

I have no idea what the hell just happened to me.

One moment, I was driving my parents to my sister's high school graduation ceremony, and the next thing I could remember was some sort of explosion.

Some glass from the front panel must have lodged itself into my face or something. I distinctly remember that much, at least.

God, I hope my family is okay. Statistically, most people in the back passenger seats are usually the safest in the event of a car accident, right? At least, I hope that's true.

Crud, this means that my sister's going to be bummed out wondering why her family hasn't shown up to her graduation yet, only to realize we've gotten into an accident.

Agh, that seriously sucks.

Well... I don't think I'm dead yet. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to talk to myself like this. Unless I'm in the afterlife?

Can't know for sure until I get my ass up, I guess.

C'mon John. It's time to wake up.

---

I blinked my eyes open.

Everything in my vision was hazy as shit. I could barely see anything in front of me. Looked like a white-ish ceiling though.

Fuck man, was I dead?

Wait... No, I was still kicking.

I looked down to see a heavy blanket covering me. A hospital respiratory mask was strapped to my face, fogging up whenever I breathed. I pulled my arms up to see tubes and wires sticking out of it. A heart monitor nearby gave a steady beep to let me know it hasn't flatlined yet.

Yep. Still alive. Fuck yeah.

How long was I out?

No, better question. Was everyone else okay?

Wait, even better question. How the fuck do I get out of these tubes and shit connected to me?

Was it even safe for me to disconnect any of them while I'm in this condition?

Actually, an even more better question. How serious is my condition?

...

Eh, fuck it.

I pulled my mask down and called out, "Nurse? I need a nurse, please!"

Raspy, but not painful. Still enough to make a decent noise. That's a good sign, right? If I was unable to make a sound at all, that would mean I was in here for way longer than I should have. Guess that means I haven't been here that long.

It took about a minute of me shouting before someone went in to check on me. Well, it'd be more accurate to say that a nurse barged in my door with a panicked look in her eyes.

"Finally." I chuckled, "Hey, can you help me figure out what's going on? I'm kind of confused right now, and also probably starving. Pizza would be great if you're allowed to give it."

The nurse that barged in just gave me a dumb stare, as if I was some sort of alien. She covered her mouth in shock, as realization dawned on her that I was awake. "Oh god, you're awake..."

She was kind of hot, to be honest. Like, it almost caught me by surprise how hot she was. You ever watch those porn movies with those actresses with, like, perfect hourglass bodies and busty tits? That's basically what I was looking at right now. Her face was pretty cute too. If she had chosen to become a pornstar instead of a nurse, I wouldn't have been shocked if I saw her. I actually kind of think she might do porn on the side.

After she got ever the shock of seeing me awake, she rushed down the hall and screamed loud enough for me to hear, "Doctor! He's awake! He's alive!"

Wow, what a reaction. Was I in that bad of a condition to warrant such a surprise? I must be in worse shape than I thought.

After a moment of trying to get into a comfortable position, something I found decently difficult due to my body feeling sore all the way to sunday, a doctor and her team of nurses finally showed up.

The doctor, a bespectacled raven-haired girl in a doctor's coat, adjusted her glasses as she stared at me in shock, similar to how the previous nurse did. "Jesus, she was right. It's like a miracle."

Her team of nurses seemed to have similar opinions, judging by the disbelief they showed as they gathered around me.

The situation was starting to feel a little bit awkward, I'm not gonna lie. One, I feel like I'm on display in some monkey exhibit, and I slowly growing self-conscious about it. Two, holy fuck they're all like hot super-models or something. Like, the first nurse I saw was absolutely plain compared to everyone else in the room. Everyone here had the body of a goddess, with thin waists and huge boobs and butts galore. Their nurse outfits seemed to cling tightly on their bodies as if they were made with the express purpose of showing off all of their curves.

I'm either on a fake hospital porn set, or I'm in a coma in some hospital somewhere that's nowhere nearly as porny as this place.

Getting over the initial shock, the doctor in charge seemed almost hesitant to approach me, as if I'm some endangered animal. Softly clearing her throat, she walked up to me and placed her hand on top of mine. "Lord John? How do you feel right now?" She spoke gently.

"Well, I'm gonna be honest, Doc." I began, not registering what she just called me, "I would absolutely kill for some pizza right now if you got any. Not sure what exactly happened to me, but it's probably safe to say that I'm gonna be in the land of the living for a while- also whaddafuck did you just call me?"

She seemed briefly confused to what I just asked her, but went on to explain, "Sir, you've been in a coma for the past three days now. You were riding in your limo when a car collided into you and caused a shard of glass to be embedded in your head. It was a miracle that you were still breathing, but we all feared that you might not ever wake up again."

"Ahuh. Okay. Make's sense so far." I dumbly nodded along, "One question though?"

"Of course, sir?"

"Did you say 'my limo?' As in, I was in a limo? That belonged to me?" I asked.

I don't think I'm the kind of guy that can even afford to rent a limo for myself, much less owning one. But apparently, I was in one?

"Of course, sir." She nodded grimly, watching over my head, "It appears the glass shard must have done some damage to your memory. We've been able to successfully removed it, but we had no way of knowing how it affected your mind. But rest assured, Lord John, we'll have the best of the best working with you until you make a full rec-"

"Wait wait wait- Why do you keep calling me 'Lord?'" I interrupted her, "I'm not hearing or hallucinating things, am I? You keep calling me Lord John, as if I'm some kind of king person or something. What's up with that?"

The color seemed to be slowly drained in her face, as all the nurses had dawned a realization together that I wasn't aware of yet. Everyone in the room looked downright mortified after hearing my words.

"Oh dear... Ooooohh dear..." The doctor muttered dreadfully, readjusting her glasses again. Doing her best to calm herself down, she asked me, "Um... Sir, how much do you remember before the incident?"

I gave a nervous chuckle and tried to give a small joke, "I dunno. What year is it?"

"It's February 24, 2025, Sir. Three days since the incident." She told me.

...

Oh.

Well, that's weird. Last I checked, I remembered it was 2019 just this morning ago.

Time sure does fly.

The heartrate monitor started beeping like crazy as I started hyperventilating.

"Lord John!" The doctor shouted in a panic, before barking orders, "He's in shock, everyone get in your positions! Miranda, get the defibrillators ready, and someone notify the Empress!"

The last thing I saw was the group of hot supermodel nurses ganging up on me before passing out.

This was all just probably a dream anyway, right? Once I wake up, everything is gonna go back to normal again. I'll be at my parent's house and we'll be celebrating my sister's graduation and this will all be revealed to be some sort of sugar-induced catatonic dream from overeating the graduation cake that Mom made.

Yeah. That sounds right.