You, You, And Some More You

You open the backpack expecting to find any number of things. She’s a cute girl who wears hello kitty everything. She probabily has all sorts of dumb collectibles in her backpack. At least, that is what you thought until you opened the backpack up to find...your own face staring back at you.

Not just one of your face, but an entire army. Her backpack is filled to the brim with large printed out black and white photos of none other than yourself. Photos of you going to class. Photos of you doing your homework at your desk. Photos of you talking to your shithead roommate Todd, who is currently out of the country on a hike across Iran (“Man, we don’t, like, know anything about them except what the government tells us”). Photos of your masturbating…

Wait. How the fuck did she even get those ones?

You look closely at the angle of the shot. To get that, she would have to have been standing right outside your window. Your window is on the first floor, so it’s possible, but there is a large hedge in front of it, meaning someone would have to fight their way through thick shrubs to get there. Plus, your blinds are normally closed. Which means either she happened to get this on a rare day when your blinds were open, or maybe when you shut your blinds they aren't as secure as you thought.

All of this raised an incredibly bizarre question. What exactly does a guy do when he’s being stalked by a hot chick. It also raised another question that you wanted to avoid for now. Namely, did she leave the bag here by accident?