Yes. Give them the list

I reply, “I’m really not a player. Monica only says that because I invited two girls to one baseball game.”

Phoebe says, “Okay. Then we’ll be the judge. How many women have you fucked?”

I say, “I’m gonna have to count them out to remember correctly. So you have to have patience.”

Ross says, “We got nothing but time. Plus we just opened up a new bottle. Personally I’m going to take a shot for every lady you’ve been with. And unlike Joey’s story, hopefully they’re all ladies.”

Monica says, “Uh oh Rachel. What happens when Ross gets too drunk?”

Rachel laughs, “When he can still get it up, he tries to put it in my butt. But he’s never succeeded yet.”

Joey says, “Prepare yourselves everybody. Depending on Chandler’s count, we may have to guard our buttholes. Go ahead Chandler. List them off with as much detail as you want.”

1. “It was at a fraternity formal. We showed up late, and everyone was already drunk so we had to catch up. She had changed into a tight leopard print dress. She was way out of my league: gorgeous black hair with blue eyes. We went hotel room to hotel room, drinking with everyone, and then making out in the stairwells. Another couple was staying in our room with us, so we had to find another place to have sex. She suggested the ice machine room, I turned it down. We ended up in the hotel lobby women’s restroom that was located by the pool. It was pretty late so we were just hoping no one would walk in. But we were young, drunk and horny so we weren’t thinking too much. We went into the handicap stall, and she sucked my dick, and kept telling me how big I was. Then I laid down on the floor and she rode me. I had a lot of energy in those days, and I just kept thrusting up and up from the ground. I was definitely doing more work than her and she loved it. Her pussy drenched me. She was squirting all over my cock, my abs, my legs and the floor. Somehow we finished without anyone coming into the bathroom.”

Ross takes a drink, “Jeez Chandler are all of these going to be so long?”

Phoebe says, “I’m loving all the detail. I didn’t know you were such a dirty man Chandler. Fucking on the floor of a bathroom stall. Smart girl choosing top and having your ass lay on the ground.”

2. “I met her at a college party. She was a couple years younger than me. Light red hair similar to Rachel’s. We just had a one night stand. The only thing I really remember is that there was some blood on the condom. So she might have been on her period, or I might have been her first time.”

“Cheers to maybe taking a v-card” Ross says and take another drink.

3. “I met this girl online and we dated for a few months. She had brown hair and brown eyes. As you can tell from Monica I have a type. She was short and had a thick ass. I remember I was able to pick her up and fuck her around the room, carrying her from couch to loveseat to chair to the floor. She was the first girl that I had sex with on multiple occasions. The others were just on one night. Actually a lot of these were only for just one night.”

Rachel says, “That is making me take Monica’s side and calling you a player.”

4. “This one definitely does not help my case. I met this one at a bar. She was ten years older than me, and was in town for a wedding. I even had her show me her license because I was not convinced she was that much older. It was a warm summer night. We were outside the bar and started making out. Then we went around to the front of the building about ten yards from the road. She pulled her pants down and I put a condom on. She bent over putting her hands against the building. I fucked her her from behind with cars occasionally driving by us. But then we heard voices, and people started coming out of the bar, so we stopped and quickly pulled up our pants. But then the people left and it was quiet again. I told her I don’t have another condom. So she put my back up against the wall, squatted down and sucked my dick. I didn’t get to come though, because it was finally closing time and her friends were calling her name. My ride had already left without me. Luckily the bartender was really nice and drove me home.”

“Drink #4, you’re such a slut Chandler. Fucking in public bathrooms, fucking in parking lots against the bar. Are you an exhibitionist?” Ross asks.

I respond, “I don’t think so. I think the **** makes me lose my inhibition.”

Phoebe says, “Cheers to blaming it on the ****.”

5. “She was a bigger girl, but she had a really pretty face with brown hair and blue eyes. Whenever I fucked her, one description always kept popping up in my mind: mashed potato pussy. So wet and sloppy.”

“EEeewwww!! Don’t put that image in my head!” Monica says and slaps me.

Rachel asks her, “How do you feel hearing about your husband’s past sexual partners. They say that once you’ve had sex, you’ve been with everyone they have.”

I Monica answers. “It was turning me on a little bit until he grossly describe that girl’s vagina.”

Joey says, “Not everyone can be as sexy as you Monica. I’m sure you’re nice and tight down there.” He winks. “Alright Chandler keep it going. We need to get Ross drunker.”

6. “She was my first blonde. The first time we had sex, it was my birthday. I remember when she sucked my dick, she did this thing with her tongue where she tried to swirl it around my cock. She had a really big clit. I almost felt like I was sucking a miniature cock when I was going down on her.”

7. “I met her at a bar and she had a boyfriend at the time. But they broke up and we started dating. Again she was another girl with long brown hair and brown eyes. She had a sexy set of thick thighs. She always had me rub her clit when she was riding me, and would start laughing when she orgasmed. She was paranoid though. After we had sex, she had me fill the condom with water and squeeze it to make sure there were no holes.”

Rachel says, “At least you know you don’t have a secret kid out there with her.”

Ross takes another drink, “You said she had thick thighs so she probably had a fat ass. How were her tits?”

I answer, “They were a perky C cup. A nice handful. Small dark nipples.”

“Nice. I’m definitely a boob guy. If you couldn’t tell from my wife’s massive rack.” Ross moves his arm to Rachel to present her cleavage in her v-neck like she’s a prize on The Price Is Right. “You gotta tell me more about these girls’ boobs Chandler.”

Joey adds, “And you gotta tell me about the blowjobs. I love them almost as much as Rachel loves giving them.”

I continue to talk about girl 7. “She claimed she learned how to suck dick from her time in marching band. I don’t know if she was referring to blowing her instrument or blowing the other band members. There was one time she was blowing me, and my dick had one of those instances where it hardened into a steel bar. She felt the change in her mouth and hand. And even though she was on her period, she said, “What happened? You gotta fuck me with this.” So we went to the bathroom and I bent her over and fucked her in front of the mirror. It was hot watching myself pounding her from behind making her thick thighs and ass jiggle.”

Phoebe says, “Watching yourself on video is even hotter.”

“I’ve always wanted to try that. I just wouldn’t want the video to accidentally get out,” adds Monica.

8. “I went skinny dipping in a lake with three girls. I thought it was a little unfair because we could only see silhouettes of each other. So I couldn’t see anything on their bodies but they could see the outline of my hanging dick. And the water was cold, which did not do me justice. So after the cold naked plunge, we put our clothes on and went back inside. I went to bed, and one girl decided to join me in my room to sleep with me. She was a rugby player, so she was a bigger girl. Not fat but tall with some mass. We fucked that night, and she said it was because she saw how large my cock was out at the lake. And sorry Ross and Joey I don’t remember her tits or sucking skills since it was only that one night.”

Phoebe says, “You know if you keep mentioning on how big your dick is, we might have to make you prove it. You’re starting to sound like Joey.”

I respond, “Don’t worry. Monica has no problem calling me out if she thinks I’m lying.” The thought of Phoebe thinking about my cock is getting me excited. I take another drink of my bourbon to keep my nerves.

9. “This girl was a roommate of my friend. She was blonde and pretty plain. The only feature that was memorable was her eyes. **** played a big role in this one. After coming back from the bar, she pulled me into her room. She made out and had sex. I didn’t sleep in her room. I slept out on the couch. I never told my friend that I had slept with her roommate.

10. “The guys have actually met this one. Maybe you’ll remember her by my description.”

Ross interrupts, “Let me guess! She was a brunette with brown eyes.”

I laugh, “Yes. You’re sensing a theme. She had perky B cup titties. Very suckable nipples. But her best feature was her ass. So round and smack-able. She would even buy special thongs to wear for me.” I look at Joey. “She would suck my dick without using her hands. Just all lips and mouth with her head bobbing up and down. Her pussy was so tight the first time we fucked. It took a bit of easing to get her loosened up.”

Joey says, “I love that feeling. They don’t think they’re going to be able to take it all, but I make sure they definitely do.”

11. “She is my combo breaker. She was a true blonde, so not my typical type. She had a decent set of tits, but her booty was out of this world. My favorite memory is just of her thick ass jiggling as she walked to the bathroom after we fucked. She had good blowjob skills and would swallow my cum. The first time she blew me, she slapped my dick against her tongue and face a couple times. But she was insatiable in bed. I think we fucked 6 times in a 24 hour period.”

Ross says, “How many more do you have Chandler? I’m getting pretty wasted over here. I need to take a piss break.” He stands up and turns his back to the fire and the group and starts pissing. It is a solid minute of listening to his stream splattering on the ground. As a group we all start laughing.

Ross finishes and turns around. He asks, “What’s so funny?” His long pale penis dangles down from a mass of red pubic hair. Ross grabs it and stuffs it back into his pants and zips up.

Monica says, “Oh my Ross I wasn’t expecting to see your dick tonight. But I’m not mad that I saw it.” She takes another drink.

Phoebe says, “Yeah he definitely did that on purpose. Keep it going Chandler don’t worry about Ross getting **** poisoning.”

12. “She had long light brown hair and hazel eyes. And Ross will enjoy that she had big soft tan tits. I think she told me she wore a 36DD. They were her best feature because she had no ass which was a turn off. Her jeans would sag because she had nothing to hold them up. Don’t worry we’re getting close to the end.”

13. “Monica knows this girl because I invited them both to the same baseball game. She probably doesn’t want to hear this.”

Monica responds, “It’s okay. I obviously won the competition. Tell me about how you fucked her.”

I continue, “She had brown frizzy hair. She was a high school teacher and said that I was so lucky because so many of her students would love to trade places with me. She was short and had big tits that used to bounce up and down when I fucked her. She bragged they she was a 34DD. Joey you’ll be disappointed to hear that she didn’t suck dick. She might have put the tip in her mouth once.”

“What a dealbreaker. No wonder Monica won,” he responds.

14. “The last girl before I officially started dating my wife. She was a tall thick light skinned black girl. She had big soft saggy tits with dark nipples. I fucked her while pulling her panties to the side. It was an incredible view fucking her doggy style. Pounding my hips against her soft big ass.”

15. “My lovely wife Monica. She is by far the best sex I’ve ever had. And Ross will be jealous because she has great boobs with the most perfect nipples. They could be in Playboy easily, no airbrushing necessary. And Joey she did like to give blowjobs, but now it’s more a blowjob and then a handjob to finish me off.”

“Hey!” Monica says, “My jaw gets tired. Give me a break. Besides you love it when I stroke your cock and talk dirty in your ear.”

Ross stands up and says, “Fuck I’m drunk. Before I throw up and pass out, I gotta tell y’all something.”